The Pro-Child Way: Parenting with an Ex [Perfect Paperback]

Ellen Kellner (Author), Rachel Dunham (Illustrator)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 2010

Pro-Child Solutions for Divorced-Parenting Situations How can I nurture my child s spirit through divorce? Step 1. Recognize the Old Way of divorced-parenting. Step 2. Embrace Pro-Child solutions to your divorced-parenting situation. Step 3. Accept a new path -- The Pro-Child Way. Step 4. Become a Pro-Child parent! The Pro-Child Way: Parenting with an Ex questions the Old Way of reacting to an ex and introduces The Pro-Child Way. This book's problem/solution format makes it easy for a parent to gain advice on any issue while addressing the child's need for love, patience, kindness, consistency, and security. The Pro-Child Way guides parents through the trickiest of divorced-parenting situations, including: determining the child's visitation and holiday schedule; handling a child's tearful goodbye; dealing with an ex at the child's birthday; formulating child support; welcoming step-parents and extended families; and managing the child's discipline and behavior issues. Forty-six different divorced-parenting situations are addressed followed first by the often typical reaction, then the positive Pro-Child response. Is a child asking if you love her Dad [Divorced Situation #26]? Before responding in the Old Way, grab the book! How should you respond when an ex is late for a visit [Divorced Situation #6]? Quick, check the book! By being mindful of the difference between the divorced situation and the reaction to it, parents can guard children from the effects of the typical divorce, while nurturing their child's spirit through the process. This carefully crafted guide offers a fresh perspective from the caring heart of a mom who has been there and chosen a transformative path. Just as this parent has done it, so can others who are seeking a better way for their child. Remember, it only takes one parent to make a significant impact in the divorced-parenting tone.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Library Journal: Booksmack Newsletter There is much to like about Kellner's work, both in organization and in content. She takes 46 common contentious divorce scenarios, such as late pick-ups and the ex's new spouse, and breaks them down into two approaches: the Old Way; (an internal dialog of trash talking the ex, both accurately done and containing likely elements of truth), and the Pro-Child Way, which emphasizes zipping the lip if not turning the cheek to assist your child in maintaining a healthy relationship with both parents. She gives concrete sample sentences and sound advice for looking at the big picture of a child's longterm emotional health. --Library Journal: Booksmack Newsletter

Ellen Kellner shares tools, techniques, and stories from her heart, to help support divorced parents to be the best they can be for the sake of their children. I have seen first hand how Ellen practices what she preaches. She is an exceptional mom and her daughters are blessed to have her. She takes her role as a co-parent seriously and is an unbelievable role model for her daughters, as well as for all of us who are parenting with an Ex. Joanie Winberg Founder of The National Association of Divorce for Women and Children --Joanie Winberg Founder of The National Association of Divorce for Women and Children

About the Author

Ellen Kellner has experienced how powerful The Pro-Child approach to divorce can be -- twice. Because of this mindful approach to parenting, her two daughters are blessed to have a mom and a dad, plus a whole pack of extended friends and family who love them and add joy to their lives. Through her speaking and writing, Ellen brings the message of The Pro-Child Way: Parenting with an Ex to parents who are looking for a transformative approach to divorced-parenting. A graduate of American University, Ellen continues to study, learn, and broaden her awareness, applying what she learns to all relationships, including the relationship with an ex. Remember, it only takes one parent to make a significant impact in the divorced-parenting tone.

Product Details

• Perfect Paperback: 148 pages
• Publisher: UnTapped Talent LLC (January 1, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0982083432
• ISBN-13: 978-0982083437
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.2 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #126,283 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

"I'm actively choosing a new way of thinking. A thinking that listens more to my heart than to the divorced chatter in my mind. When you take time to be still and consider your child, you'll remember that good parenting skills are absolute and not corrupted by marital status. A child needs love, time, structure, consideration, respect, and discipline. A good parent strives to provide these things and more. I am a parent. A parent who handles divorced parenting situations. And in this mindful world of parenting with an ex, I am choosing the Pro-Child Way. If I can do it, so can you... If I can do it, YOU CAN TOO!" - Ellen

www.TheProChildWay.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is an outstanding book for mothers and fathers locked in divorce combat!, January 10, 2010

By 

T. W. Arnold (Palm Springs, CA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Pro-Child Way: Parenting with an Ex (Perfect Paperback)

I am a family law and divorce lawyer in Palm Springs, California, and a Masters student of Family Life Education at Loma Linda University. I bumped into Ms. Kellner's book while I was investigating available resources to support parents involved in custody disputes, in order to help my own clients to make choices that facilitate their childrens' best interests rather than blindly serving the natural reactivity and the competing agendas of many divorcing couples.

This book resonated for me and I now recommend it to all my clients, whether they are fathers or mothers. Ms. Kellner recognizes that parenting in divorce involves a renegotiation of financial (men) and custodial (women) perspectives, as well as allowing us to reconsider the power imbalances that flow from these issues, and our control-based fears. She is even handed in her treatment, which for me makes her very wise. Ellen Kellner reminds us that the most important and the most disempowered persons in divorce are our children. These vulnerable human beings depend utterly upon the wisdom of BOTH parents, and each parent's desire and willingness to inquire their way to the truth of what serves a child's best interests.

The Pro Child guide will help parents become grounded - and reasonable - in ways that are otherwise quite elusive. For that reason, it will assist both divorce lawyers and their clients.

I have copies of her book on hand to give away to my divorcing clients. It is but a small gift, especially considering how much I must charge my clients, and how much they might save by avoiding unnecessary adversarial maneuvering!

Thurman W. Arnold III
Palm Springs, CA

P.S., this work is a must have for those seeking mindful divorces!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Mindful solutions to divorce parenting!, January 24, 2010

By 

Carolyn Mycue (Albany, NY) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The Pro-Child Way: Parenting with an Ex (Perfect Paperback)

Ellen Kellner's revolutionary solutions to these most common and sensitive situations that arise in the process of divorce parenting are truly inspired. Drawing upon her personal experience, she sheds new light on outdated and often detrimental ways of co-parenting during and after a divorce.

Ellen's creative solutions put the child where they belong: at the front of the equation instead of buried beneath the personal needs or resentments of the parents. This fresh perspective helps preserve a child's relationship with both parents in a way that provides the support the child needs to feel safe and loved.

Whether you are in the beginning stages of divorce, or are seeped in the aftermath, I highly recommend Ellen Kellner's book, "The Pro-Child Way: Parenting With An Ex", as a most helpful tool to more consciously navigate the unconscious pitfalls of divorce parenting!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great comparisons between the right ways and wrong ways to deal with an ex when it comes to children in common, July 20, 2010

By 

Mike Mastracci (Baltimore, Maryland USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Pro-Child Way: Parenting with an Ex (Perfect Paperback)

With a subtitle of: 46 Pro-Child Solutions for Typical Divorced-Parenting Situations this book really does give real life examples that will surely resonate with anyone who is tempted to pick it up because of its title. Keller does a masterful job of bringing home the overriding message of the book: "Keep plugging away and make it work for your child's best interest." The Pro-Child Way walks the reader through all of the common problems that many separated and divorced couples face when children are stuck in the middle of poor communication techniques, unwise behavior, and bad parental reactions. What I especially enjoyed was the vividness of the 46 (and there are more) situations that are described coupled with the simple yet effective preferred responses. The book is organized in a "The Old Way" of doing it and "The Pro-Child Way" of doing it which guides peanuts through some of the trickiest of divorced parenting situations.


The Pro-Child Way can serve as an "on the spot" reference guide on what to perhaps do when for example, your ex is late for pick up or drop off, when there are conflicts in schedule for things like holidays and vacations, when financial issues disrupt parental communication and when dealing with school officials and doctors is problematic and virtual everything else.


Like most things in life, there are right ways and wrong ways to go about things. The Pro-Child Way, even when step parents are involved, shows you the best ways to parent effectively with your ex. Having lived and breathed this stuff, personally and professionally for more years than I like to admit, I still learned a few new things that will be helpful in the future and to pass on to others. All of the sections a re short, full of useful information and entertaining at the same time.

What is also interesting about this book and some similar ones I have read is that the author is not someone with a bunch of initials behind her name, not a doctor, Ph. D., lawyer, psychologist, mediator or even in the "divorce industry." Ms. Kellner wrights from her experience and perspectives of a mom who was stressed, exhausted, and disappointed as she frantically looked for a book to help her raise her child through divorce. The Pro-Child Divorce Way; Parenting With an Ex is her response to not finding what she was looking for. The book is proof that when the love for your child is the true motivator, you can never go wrong; but, you might need some help. This book provides it.