Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of Ill-Conceived Personal Ads [Paperback]

Donna F. Ferber LPC (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 19, 2009

Profileactics combines lessons in self-awareness and language with generous does of wisdom and wit.The result is an invaluable tool for Baby Boomers exploring the world of Internet dating. Hundreds of profile excerpts are used to demonstrate the often misguided efforts of Boomers looking for love. Some are hilarious, some sad and some are just strange, but all illustrate the power of words. Profileactics will help single Boomers craft a better dating profile and assist them in finding the love they want. It will also challenge them to look deeper into themselves-beyond their childhood fantasies and stereotypical expectations of gender and relationship. This self-reflection will result in a clearer vision of themselves and what they long for in a relationship. Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC is a psychotherapist in private practice for 25 years in Farmington, CT. Her first book,the award winning From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life; A Woman's Journey through Divorce has helped thousands of women recover from divorce and find joy in their lives. Now she turns her optimism and sage advice toward helping Baby Boomer singles achieve their hearts' desire.

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Purple Lotus Press, LLC (October 19, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0976113317
• ISBN-13: 978-0976113317
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 0.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,846,952 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Recommended for anyone thinking of submitting a personal ad, November 14, 2011

By 

Paul Lappen (Manchester, CT USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of Ill-Conceived Personal Ads (Paperback)

This book looks at the world of online personal ads from the perspective of how not to do it. There are a distressingly large number of examples from which to choose.

Why is this the Baby Boomer Edition? Genxers and Millennials are entering the dating world for the first time. They are looking for someone to settle down with and start a life together. Baby Boomers have Been There, Done That. They have been through divorce; they have experienced the pain of losing a loved one through death; they have children that must be part of the equation.

The first rule of online personal ads (if there is such a thing) is Use Spellcheck. Nothing says "Delete Me" like misspelled words. The second rule is Leave Out the Bitterness. A potential date is not interested in how big of a jerk is your ex. It is perfectly reasonable to mention "deal breakers" in your ad (like smoking or being a "cat person"), but there is no need to be mean and sarcastic about it. Creativity in your ad is good, but don't overdo it.

Men are well known for objectifying women, insisting that they look good in heels and a black dress. Women can be just as bad, insisting that he not have a comb over. There are some men who work out a lot, or look younger than their chronological age, and are not afraid to let everyone know it. Self-confidence is good, arrogance and conceit is bad. Women, on the other hand, tend to play down their looks. The sooner men stop looking for a Little Mermaid (or some other female Disney character), and the sooner women stop looking for Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet, the better. Leave your deceased spouse out of the ad; no one wants to be considered a "replacement." Also, leave the "(insert pet peeve here) need not apply" out of your ad. Tell people what you want in an ad, not what you don't want. Last, but not least, if you have not yet found out what you want out of life, or don't know what you are looking for in a relationship, then why on earth are you submitting a personal ad? The only one who can find whatever it is you are lacking in your life is staring at you in the mirror.

The overwhelming feeling after reading this book is: What Were These People Thinking? This is a fascinating and easy to read book, and, yes, it does look at what should be in a personal ad. It's recommended for anyone who has ever submitted a personal ad, or for those who just want to snicker and shake their heads in disbelief.

5.0 out of 5 stars Required reading for cyber-singles..., February 5, 2010

By 

Denison Wright (Sarasota, FL United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of Ill-Conceived Personal Ads (Paperback)

Andy Warhol expressed a belief, with regard to relationships, that the persons involved would do best to lay out all their flaws from the onset, and dealing with the consequences rather than anticipating delayed surprises. Somehow, I don't think what the majority of profilers (in the book) expressed in their comments were what he had in mind! Ms. Ferber's suggestion, early on, against "posing with (one's) kill" in an online dating site profile set the tone for the rest of the book, for me. A great and (much needed) fun read...and, strangely, with many quotable passages from the profilers! I loved it!

5.0 out of 5 stars Learn how to read bewteen the lines of online profiles and avoid big mistakes, November 10, 2009

By 

Ronnie "Dating Coach and author of MANifestin... (MILFORD, CT, United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of Ill-Conceived Personal Ads (Paperback)

Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of Ill-Conceived Personal Ads by psychotherapist Donne Ferber, is an eye-opening guidebook, detailing the pitfalls of online dating profile writing. In this fast-reading, entertaining book, Ms. Ferber explains the major mistakes and how to read between the lines to understand what people are really saying. She shares countless funny and sometimes pitiful examples to illustrate her points. The last chapter provides a simple, yet powerful "how to" recipe to ensure your profile stands out from the crowd and appeals to the opposite sex. Profileactics clears up misconceptions, spells out what to avoid, and inspires the reader to write a meaningful, catchy profile for greater web dating success.