Customer Reviews

Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of Ill-Conceived Personal Ads

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book looks at the world of online personal ads from the perspective of how not to do it. There are a distressingly large number of examples from which to choose.

Why is this the Baby Boomer Edition? Genxers and Millennials are entering the dating world for the first time. They are looking for someone to settle down with and start a life together. Baby Boomers have Been There, Done That. They have been through divorce; they have experienced the pain of losing a loved one through death; they have children that must be part of the equation.

The first rule of online personal ads (if there is such a thing) is Use Spellcheck. Nothing says "Delete Me" like misspelled words. The second rule is Leave Out the Bitterness. A potential date is not interested in how big of a jerk is your ex. It is perfectly reasonable to mention "deal breakers" in your ad (like smoking or being a "cat person"), but there is no need to be mean and sarcastic about it. Creativity in your ad is good, but don't overdo it.

Men are well known for objectifying women, insisting that they look good in heels and a black dress. Women can be just as bad, insisting that he not have a comb over. There are some men who work out a lot, or look younger than their chronological age, and are not afraid to let everyone know it. Self-confidence is good, arrogance and conceit is bad. Women, on the other hand, tend to play down their looks. The sooner men stop looking for a Little Mermaid (or some other female Disney character), and the sooner women stop looking for Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet, the better. Leave your deceased spouse out of the ad; no one wants to be considered a "replacement." Also, leave the "(insert pet peeve here) need not apply" out of your ad. Tell people what you want in an ad, not what you don't want. Last, but not least, if you have not yet found out what you want out of life, or don't know what you are looking for in a relationship, then why on earth are you submitting a personal ad? The only one who can find whatever it is you are lacking in your life is staring at you in the mirror.

The overwhelming feeling after reading this book is: What Were These People Thinking? This is a fascinating and easy to read book, and, yes, it does look at what should be in a personal ad. It's recommended for anyone who has ever submitted a personal ad, or for those who just want to snicker and shake their heads in disbelief.

Andy Warhol expressed a belief, with regard to relationships, that the persons involved would do best to lay out all their flaws from the onset, and dealing with the consequences rather than anticipating delayed surprises. Somehow, I don't think what the majority of profilers (in the book) expressed in their comments were what he had in mind! Ms. Ferber's suggestion, early on, against "posing with (one's) kill" in an online dating site profile set the tone for the rest of the book, for me. A great and (much needed) fun read...and, strangely, with many quotable passages from the profilers! I loved it!

Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of Ill-Conceived Personal Ads by psychotherapist Donne Ferber, is an eye-opening guidebook, detailing the pitfalls of online dating profile writing. In this fast-reading, entertaining book, Ms. Ferber explains the major mistakes and how to read between the lines to understand what people are really saying. She shares countless funny and sometimes pitiful examples to illustrate her points. The last chapter provides a simple, yet powerful "how to" recipe to ensure your profile stands out from the crowd and appeals to the opposite sex. Profileactics clears up misconceptions, spells out what to avoid, and inspires the reader to write a meaningful, catchy profile for greater web dating success.

If you are ready to try on-line dating, or if you've done it before and not had the success you've wanted, you need to read Donna Ferber's book for the inside scoop on how to write the right profile!

With amazing insight and a huge dose of her singularly unique wit (meaning "laugh-out-loud-funny"), Ms. Ferber gently guides you as you learn to create a profile that is going to be honest, interesting and will stand out from the crowd.

I know I will recommend "Profileactics" to anyone and everyone I know who is venturing out into the world of on-line dating. And I know they will glean, not only much enjoyment from reading the book, but valuable insight and knowledge.

CJ Golden author: "Tao of the Defiant Woman", "Tao-Girls Rule!"