19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Oh my god this book is bad!, November 22, 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Project Phoenix: Dead Rising (Paperback)
...I really enjoy the zombie genre. I have a huge collection of both zombie movies, fiction and games, many of which are very good. This book is not. The following are my opinions, but I stand by them.
Project phoenix Dead Rising tm is in my opinion not only the worst book I have ever read, but I suspect the worst book ever written. The sad thing is that I was looking forward to reading it. I shelled out my $...plus shipping and waited for it to arrive, happy that zombies were getting more attention. Eagerly I opened the cover (The design of which is very nice.) The dedication page citied all the right sources, so far so good. Then I read the introduction, things began to fall apart at that point. As soon as the author's voice entered the story I became worried. Then the prologue, which for no reason what-so-ever switches from the all knowing narration to first person. This trick might have worked if the author had anything interesting to say but sadly that was not the case. In fact here is when I really began to notice what a train wreck this "novel" really was.
There appears to have been no editing besides a quick run through with a spell checker. All the words are spelled correctly, but they are in the wrong place. The comical result being that at times the main character ends up sounding Jamaican. With phrases like "him arm" rather than "his arm". But that's only the beginning... When I encountered sentences like "They were each one the dead rumored in legend that found a new meal to nibble upon with Gibson." What?!
Perhaps English is Mr. Patterson's second language, perhaps he is "special" I don't know, but I do know that I shelled out about $...dollars for this!
It gets better, or worse depending on your point of view. By the first chapter the author begins to include quotes, which is fine except he quotes himself! Complete with the dates that he said these profound things. One can only imagine the hubris involved with quoting oneself, particularly when he says nothing that hasn't been said before and better by other people. Take for example this winner "God is forgiving of sin. Does the devil wage this as well?" I can guess what this is supposed to mean, but it's just bad language. The kicker is that the date given is 07/09/94-03/19/99...it took him about five years to polish that specimen of an insight.
The book is full of forgettable, clichéd characters, a plot that makes no sense and writing that is honestly at a junior high level. The author has no problem using the same word over and over again in a sentence ( Thesauruses are not that expensive.) And yes I get it! You are naming characters after people involved with the zombie genre! But fear not because at the end of the book he thoughtfully explains what he meant to all you dimwits out there reading it. Actually he explains pretty much everything and goes on to pat himself on the back for being original. (Which he is not)
I cringed expectantly when he introduced a character named Dante'. I knew it was just a matter of time before he would start a fire to be called "Dante's inferno" I was not disappointed. (Well, yes I was...but the author did it none the less.)
I prayed there would not being a sex scene...page 209 made sure my nightmares became a reality. The passage was trite, insulting and predictable. Like a pubescent boy's fantasy of what sex might be like.
A very telling moment is when the author begins a diatribe about how jocks (pretty boy types) don't know how to treat or appreciate a woman. The just use them and throw them away. It comes off sounding like a personal beef by someone who has been rejected a few too many times.
The entire time I was reading this monstrous book I couldn't help picturing the comic book guy from the simpsons having written it. ) In my opinion, the final nail (in this book's proverbial coffin) of this being nothing more than glorified "fan boy" fiction came at the afterward when the author talked of this being a trilogy and describing it as a "star wars of the dead".
By any stretch of the imagination this is an awful book. Do yourself a favor and don't buy it. Spend your money on anything else. Rent a good zombie movie, take your sweetheart out on a date, because the real horror of this tome is that it's out there, disguised as literature and waiting for you to waste your hard earned money on it.
If you want to be scared think of this, the author has promised (threatened) that there may be two more to follow it. Well fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I am done with anything this author has to say.
Now since I did pay for this book I have found a great use for it. I have many friends who are writers, when they come over we open it to a random page and read aloud. It never fails to get a laugh. So in the long run I suppose I did get my money's worth, but I would advise you not to take the risk. I could go on and on but I won't.
This is a bad book by someone who has no artistic grasp of language. They say an infinite amount of monkeys given an infinite amount of time could write a Shakespeare play. If that is true my guess is that this took a couple a monkeys and a long weekend.
If you need instant proof of how bad the writting is, check out the author's own 5 star review of his work right here on this page. He can't even get the title of his review right. It should read "Raising the Dead" or perhaps "The Rising Dead" But not as he wrote "Rising the Dead".
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
I feel cheated..., April 18, 2004
This review is from: Project Phoenix: Dead Rising (Paperback)
There were several other well written reviews so I will keep this brief.
First of all if you read nothing else in this review...stay away from this book!
I have never read such a weak and unprofessionally written story. Spell check cannot stand in for an editor. The plot is weak and the characters are paper thin. The story is hard to follow becuase the sentance structure is so bad.
So you know, I love zombie movies/books and based on experience I have pretty low expectations. There are so many well written zombie novels out there this one can be missed.
Instead try some of the following (not in any order): "The Rising" by Keene (not great but not terrible), "Reign of the Dead" by Len Barnhart (not bad, the story is a little weak), and finally "The Dead" by Mark Rogers (One of the best zombie books out there).
Before You say I am being overly harsh, I paid $20 for this piece of garbage. By reading this book I EARNED the right to be critical.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Note to Reviewers & Readers from Author:, March 23, 2005
This review is from: Project Phoenix: Dead Rising (Paperback)
First let me just say that I appreciate all of the reviews submitted, both good and bad. These help to show me my mistakes and where to improve. Project Phoenix WAS in fact started around high school and my maturity level may have not been up there with the likes of Stephen King or others. I shouldn't attack some of the bad reviewers, because we all need them even if they seem to go out of their way to bash something that doesn't fit into their view of the world. Being mean-spirited and actually personally attacking the author is wrong. You have the right to your opinion and disgust, but keep it in focus and point out the flaws in the product, the book, not a human being. With the faceless nature of the Internet, it seems many individuals seem fit to say things they may not say in person without thinking of the consquences. Being libel to a person is damaging to that individual's reputation. For that, their opinion becomes meaningless because they can't concentrate on the nature of the book, but instead on the nature of the person they haven't even met.
I can waste my time here and go on, but I think you get the point. You love it or you don't. I can't change your mind. I can tell you that hopefully in the near future, I will have this book and others edited by a college level English Professor and have the book republished. I apologize that it is in the state it is and is embarassing to say the least. Certain things will be removed such as the personal quotes, which is really stupid, I realize that now. I will try to bring them up to more professional standards and hope you will give me a second chance. I would like to make things right for those who were disappointed, but I wouldn't have the resources to do so.
Project Phoenix was my second novel and it does show. Once again, I'm sorry.
-D. Patterson 03/23/05
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