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Promiscuities : The Secret Struggle for Womanhood [Hardcover]

Naomi Wolf (Author)
3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)


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Book Description

May 27, 1997
"There are no good girls; we are all bad girls, in the best sense of the word."  
--Naomi Wolf

In this provocative and highly personal new book, Naomi Wolf speaks to women with searing honesty about a subject that has long been taboo: our sexual coming of age. Today, teenage girls' sexuality is everywhere put on display. Erotic messages aimed at them are intense and conflicting; yet in a society without rites of passage to guide girls to adulthood, the signposts pointing out how to grow into a self-respecting and healthy sexual womanhood are few.

Promiscuities follows a group of adolescent girls as they gradually become aware of themselves as sexual beings and discover what our culture tells them being female means. Drawing on her own experiences as well those of her contemporaries, Naomi Wolf reveals the secrets of our coming of age: the sexual games, forbidden crushes, losses of virginity, and rites of initiation. She also uncompromisingly examines the darker territories of abortion, the influences of the sex industry, and sexual violence that underlie contemporary girls' struggle for womanhood. By bringing into light our relationship to the "shadow slut"  that conditions our sexual development, Promiscuities explores how the sexual experiences of the adolescent years determine women's sense of their own value as adults, and envisions how we could better guide girls through the "normatively shocking"  landscape they now inhabit. Finally, Wolf looks at the popular culture of the recent past, as well as at the history and mythology of female desire, to show how our "liberated" culture still fears and distorts female passion.

Bold and candid, funny and revelatory, Wolf's stories illustrate the fear and excitement, the fantasies and sometimes crippling realities, that make up a young contemporary woman's journey of erotic and emotional discovery.

This is Naomi Wolf's bravest, most engaging, most thoroughly argued, and most important book to date. If The Beauty Myth, which helped to change what women see when they look in the mirror, was a benchmark, Promiscuities will be a landmark: an exceptionally frank sexual memoir of an individual as well as of a generation that will help change the way women perceive and talk about their own sexuality. An invitation to a better way of teaching girls the value of being female, Promiscuities is also a call to women of all ages not only to claim but also to celebrate the extraordinary nature of their sexuality.


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Part memoir, part exposé, Promiscuities is Naomi Wolf's (author of The Beauty Myth and Fire with Fire) perspective on the confusion surrounding female sexuality. According to Wolf, promiscuous is "a word that holds within it the mixed message girls today are given about sex: 'You're promiscuous if you do anything, but you are a prude if you do nothing.'" Thus, still polarized on the spectrum between virgin and whore, adolescent girls are allowed little information and even fewer healthy outlets for their normal sexual desires. Wolf shatters the illusion that good girls and professional women are not sexual, and boldly embarks on redefining female sexuality outside of men's experience and assumptions. Wolf's own coming of age in the post-sexual revolution of Haight-Ashbury, serves as an evocative tool for revealing the naked and admirable truth of female sexuality.

From Library Journal

Wolf has written passionately about the effects of popular culture on female self-image in numerous articles and books (The Beauty Myth, LJ 4/1/91). Her newest work centers on the way American culture of the late Sixties and Seventies created a generation of females torn between the need to express their sensuality and the desire to meet society's behavioral expectations. To illustrate her position, Wolf relies almost exclusively on the coming-of-age experiences of herself, her friends, and acquaintances in her hometown, San Francisco. Overgeneralization abounds as she attempts to apply the microcosmic events of this mostly white, middle-class, liberal milieu to a whole generation. A new stereotype is presented in which all girls wanted to be Barbie and all teenagers viewed loss of virginity as the key to attaining "womanhood." There is a desperate defensiveness in the tone of this book, which, in spite of references to other sociological and anthropological studies, diminishes the force of Wolf's argument. Fans of the author as well as expected talk-show appearances will nevertheless generate demand for this work. Libraries should purchase accordingly.
-?Rose M. Cichy, Osterhout Free Lib., Wilkes-Barre, Pa.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 286 pages
  • Publisher: Random House; 1st edition (May 27, 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 067941603X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0679416036
  • Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #113,603 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Naomi Wolf was born in San Francisco in 1962. She was an undergraduate at Yale University and did her graduate work at New College, Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar.

Her essays have appeared in various publications including: The New Republic, The Wall Street Journal, Glamour, Ms., Esquire, The Washington Post, and The New York Times. She also speaks widely to groups across the country.

The Beauty Myth, her first book, was an international bestseller. She followed that with Fire With Fire: The New Female Power and How It Will Change The 21st Century, published by Random House in 1993, and Promiscuities: The Secret Struggle for Womanhood, published in 1997. Misconceptions, released in 2001, is a powerful and passionate critique of pregnancy and birth in America.

In fall 2002, Harper Collins published a 10th anniversary commemorative edition of The Beauty Myth. In May of 2005, Ms. Wolf released The Treehouse: Eccentric Wisdom from my Father on How to Live, Love and See. The End of America, published in September 2007 by Chelsea Green, is Naomi's latest book.

Naomi Wolf is co-founder of The Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership, an organization devoted to training young women in ethical leadership for the 21st century. The institute teaches professional development in the arts and media, politics and law, business and entrepreneurship as well as ethical decision making.

She lives with her family in New York City.

 

Customer Reviews

41 Reviews
5 star:
 (16)
4 star:
 (9)
3 star:
 (4)
2 star:
 (5)
1 star:
 (7)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.5 out of 5 stars (41 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 38 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Thought provoking and worthwhile, June 9, 2000
By 
Ellen Denham (Indianapolis, IN USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Promiscuities : The Secret Struggle for Womanhood (Hardcover)
Promiscuities may not resonate with everyone, but as a member of Wolf's generation, it definitely did with me. She does a wonderful job of explaining the whole 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation in which girls live regarding sexuality, with anecdotes from her and others' personal experiences.

I fail to see why the book has gotten so much criticism for being anecdotal and personal; at no point did I feel she was trying to pass it off as hard science. I think Wolf explains beautifully the whole paradox of what it means to be female in post sexual revolution society. I would not only recommend this book to young women, but to parents, particularly fathers of girls about to enter this stage, because I think it will be a real eye opener.

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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating and compelling!, February 4, 1999
By 
marie.rochon1@sympatico.ca (Toronto, Ontario, Canada) - See all my reviews
I enjoyed "Promiscuities" so much that I found myself continually marking up pages and asterisking sections as they described situations I had lived through but could not articulate. I found this book to be incredibly insightful. Finally a book that discusses how it feels to be a young woman, struggling with her burgeoning sexuality, in a world that denies and degrades female sexual power. While Wolfe's perspective on this issue is largely white, middle class, and could have included more ethnic attitudes of female sexuality, this book is a starting point on a discussion that needs to continue. I found this book to be fascinating and will return to it.
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32 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Misunderstood and Undervalued, April 27, 2003
By 
Jill (Manitoba, Canada) - See all my reviews
This book, by such a 'noted' feminist researcher, has recieved an undue amount of criticism for several reasons. The first being that there is always an over emphasis on the context Wolf chooses, which is her own. There is an overwhelming failure to notice how this creates a story, and a background for the reader. Elsewise, we would just be meandering through some misplaced memories. It also serves to show that these stories are not meant as an all inclusive look at what it means to have sex as a teenage girl.

The second undue criticism comes from the nature of the book - as a collection of stories. There are complaints that, unlike The Beauty Myth, there is not a lot of factual research - which Wolf readily admits in the introduction. The reason for this is often revealed in interviews with Wolf. She often notes that she wrote it because she realized her daughter would be going through the same things in a number of years. The lack of theory and jargon in this book make it accessible for young women who many not even really understand what the word "feminist" means.

I write this because I read this book as a young girl, and later as a university student. As a pre highschool student, this book gave me guidance and reference not available to me from my family, friends or school. The fact that someone was telling these stories served to make my own experiences normal and gave me realistic expectations in the world of "high school romance". I don't hesitate to say it probably saved me a lot of heart ache, as I was exposed to the stories of "women who have gone before"

As a university student, I feel that the true stories of women are generally not heard in the forum of mainstream culture. Although I have come to disagree with some portrayals and sections of this book, I also realize it's value and recognize it's impact on my life. It is a must read for young women, and should be available in health and family life classes everywhere.

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Once upon a time, a scattered group of girls undertook the passage from girlhood to womanhood in a city built around a bay. Read the first page
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yin essence, female lust, becoming women, female desire
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San Francisco, Emma Goldman, New York, Rabbi Black, Carol Doda, Haight Street, Middle Ages, Tao of Loving, The Sensuous Woman, James Bond, The Hite Report
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