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I Promise to Hate, Despise, and Abuse You until Death Do Us Part Marriage in a Narcissistic Age Paperback – 2011

4.4 out of 5 stars 24 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 128 pages
  • Publisher: Bookend Publishers, Inc.; 1st edition (2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0615406564
  • ISBN-13: 978-0615406565
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #419,023 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By O. Merce Brown HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on September 17, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
****
This is a book that will only appeal to Christian readers, as it is filled with Biblical quotes and based upon Christian perspectives. It is primarily the author's view, with some studies and external references thrown in. I disagreed with some of her interpretations, but others I was in agreement with. I think that if you read this book knowing that it is just one woman's perspective, it can be very helpful; if the reader allows herself/himself to think about the ideas put forth here there is much that she/he could gain. If the reader is looking for scientific studies or objective perspectives or even secular viewpoints, these would not be found here.

The book starts out describing narcissistic marriages. The second part of the book discusses various Christian ideas and interpretations of the Bible that perpetuate narcissistic marriages and why these are wrong--not Biblical and not supportive of the non-narcissistic spouse. The last part of the book, which is the shortest, but in some ways the strongest, discusses strategies that can be implemented if you choose to stay in your marriage with a narcissist either temporarily or permanently.

The book acknowledges that abuse takes place both with male and female narcissists but focuses primarily on marriages in which the narcissist is the male, because it is far more prevalent.

I thought it was good book about a little-discussed topic.

Recommended.
****
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I recommend this book to any woman who is being abused in any way by her husband. I Promise To Hate, Despise, and Abuse You Until Death Do Us Part can also be read by women who are in a dating relationship as well. This book has three parts: recipe for toxic marriages-narcissistic ingredients, preservatives of the toxic narcissistic recipe, and making the narcissistic recipe less toxic. This book has six chapters. The book gives a list of recognizing abusive and narcissistic behavior in your spouse. There are several stories from women who describe what living in a narcissistic relationship is like. For women who live in a "religious" marriage, this book will tell her what the truth is about male headship and female submission. It will also tell her the truth about divorce. I really appreciated reading the story in this book from a pastor who supports leaving a narcissistic marriage and getting a divorce. At the end of the book it will also tell you what to do, if you choose to stay. This book is small, thin, and easy to hide from your spouse. This book really opened my eyes.
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Out of all of the self help books I have bought throughout the my life, this one truly turned me around. All of the other books were on how to make myself look better, change my ways so I could be loved. Surface type stuff. I found my life back when I read this book at how I have suffered at the hand of narcissistic alcoholics. No way to make these relationships work b/c I would have to change the dynamic woman that I truly am. I'm finally taking a stand for myself and keeping my eyes open and ears closed to those who are so harmfully critical of me. If you have no other books, this is the book to have. I learned so much about myself and how I have truly learned to attract positive people and energy into my life and say no to toxic entities! LOVE this book! If you do nothing else about your situation, read this book. You will find that these narcissists need you more than you need them. Can't say enough great things about it and read it in an evening! Thank you Andrea V. Oelger! You are an incredible woman!

Aimee Smith
Jefferson City, MO
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This book has so much information for women living with a controlling and narcissistic man. It's very informative. It gave me a better since of describing the type of man I married. Once you read this book, you will feel like you are in control of your life. And learn how to deal with this controlling man. This is a must READ!!!
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This is one of the finest spiritual books written regarding Narcissim I have ever read. Have shared this book with several people, it has helped me personally to release unnecessary pain and guilt, seems to be doing this with others that are reading it. Highly recommend it to those who feel so lost and fearful for their sanity and safety. These authors know what they speak of, and they deliver this info with love and great understanding. Extremly helpful for those who have known narcissistic people. Thank you.
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Great book for understanding narcissistic abusers. I especially recommend the last section on how to live with a narcassistic abuser if you decide to stay in the marriage. However, if there is physical abuse, get out!
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It was the second worse "Christian" book I have ever read in my fifty years as a Christian. It is absolutely disgusting the way it mishandles the holy Word of God. Anyone who loves God and His Word will realize what a waste of money it was. Knowing God hates divorce and only gave one reason for it, this book believes God made a mistake and gives many other reasons to dump your husband for totally non-biblical reasons. UNREAL!
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There was a protion of this book that was suprisingly helpful to me. It discussed misconceptions we acqure from teachings of the church about divorce, how they are untrue and how they contribute to our becoming stuck in a marriage. This part was only 1/2 of the book, but it was so helpful to me, that I would still recommend it if someone was having trouble in this aea.
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