Customer Reviews

I Promise Not To Tell

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I was lucky enough to get to read I Promise Not To Tell and have to say that not only is Ms. Weber an excellent poet but a fabulous storyteller. I was quickly taken into her autobiography and I couldn't put her book down, so I read it all in one sitting. There are many bittersweet moments in this story and most of them are centered on the problems Brenda had experienced, as another reader said "One womans own private hell." And then I realized that's what makes her book so good, because she told her story like she saw it. She didn't sugar coat her words, she wrote it like she felt it through her experiences. She survived through many tragedies, and forms of abuse-from family, friends, and then felt the ultimate hurt when someone in her family experiences some of the same problems that she too had gone through. When she decided to no longer play the victim, I cheered! This is a dark story that makes you realize that we each have a story to tell with secrets to reveal, shows that we shouldn't be so quick to judge others, and that we are all human. There is light at the end of the tunnel for Ms. Weber. Brenda's love possibly was her way to salvation. While we did see mainly the downside of her life, that is what made this book so real. I'm glad Ms. Weber no longer has to hold her feelings inside and I hope that her story will be able to reach those who need a way out of abuse. Brenda you are a survivor and I was honored to read your remarkable story!

At 4:00 a.m. I finished the last of 150 pages. Pages that were stark in their honesty and gut-wrenching with their truths.

Brenda Weber shares her story of inherited molestation and abuse that began at the age of four and continued in one form or another well into her adult life. Not until her son, also molested, and also an abuser, is found out, does she realize the pattern. She is not alone.

This book is very important. Woman AND men who have ever experienced abuse, sexual or otherwise, will recognize themselves on every page.

Too many times, society inflicts its beliefs on the survivors of abuse, leaving them to feel helpless, hopeless and sometimes, to blame. With I Promise Not to Tell, Weber unveils the truth behind these damaging behaviors.

It's a curse thing. It's a generational-curse thing. It's an inherited thing. Whatever society might want to call it-abuse is a bad thing. And unfortunately, the people who experience abuse go on to be abused more, and sometimes become abusers themselves. They also might pass on behavioral traits to their children, one of those traits being how to be a victim. Victims can become both victim and abuser.

As we journey with Weber along her incredibly honest path of discovery, we learn that her mother was abused. In a flashback, Weber is astonished to discover that she, herself, was molested at the tender age of four. Her subsequent relationships start badly and end badly. She doesn't get it-until she DOES get it.

Readers who have never experienced the cycle of abuse will be irritated with Weber for not making right choices; for playing the victim; for accepting abuse and running from one bad relationship to another.

It is my hope that those same readers, people who have never experienced the cycle of abuse will finally realize that the person inside the storm can't see outside the cloud.

My mother could be the woman in this book. Right down to the bad choices in men, the repeated bad mistakes, and the false hope each new relationship brings. Right down to passing along the behaviors, especially those of being a victim.

Unfortunately, my mother died without realizing the full dynamics of the demons imposed upon her. We still don't know who it was that molested my mother; she never gave a name. But we do know it affected her life, and the lives of her children. Three out of four children have been divorced. The two girls have made repeated bad decisions concerning men. I am one of them.

Bravo, Ms. Weber! Thank you for taking the blinders off and letting the world see the truth.

Exceptional! One of the best books that I have ever read. This is a very great book that any readers can relate to, I strongly recommend it to anyone. Like always, we all have a story to tell and share, that's what the writer did. A very sad story but enjoyable to read. Hopefully, one day Hollywood producers would turn it into an Academy award winner best movie.

Brenda Weber bears her heart in her work
" I Promise Not To Tell."
The story of a women's past and the abuse and turmoil she suffered from the hands of those that she entrusted her life to, both as a child and as an adult.
Losing her mother at the tender age of nine, Brenda houses within herself a great feeling of loss and abandonment, insecurity and
deep loneliness. All of these imbedded emotions cause her to make unwise decisions leading to more pain and destruction in her already shattered life.

However, all is not lost, as Brenda's journey finally leads to freedom and peace as she realizes her worth and puts life priorities in order.
A book for all those who have walked the path of abuse in one form or another, a book of sharing the hurts and shouting the victories.
Shirley Johnson