Customer Reviews

The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage CD: Preface and Introduction read by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

5 star:		(77)
4 star:		(22)
3 star:		(8)
2 star:		(8)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

I bought this book for two friends who are about to get married (they're sometime listeners to Dr. Laura), and I found myself reading it first. Much to my surprise, I found it a real page-turner. I think people see or hear Dr. Laura on radio or TV and just instantly make up their minds about her, either loving or hating her. But when you really pay attention to what she says, and read the words she writes, she makes enormous sense.

How many of us always complain about the little things our husbands do, or make fun of their never asking for directions, but don't quite think about how we can make them feel more like "men." And in THIS book, Dr. Laura also addresses what men need to do to make us wives feel more like women. It sounds old-fashioned, and maybe it is, but it really works.

She gives "action items" to work on to improve your marriage, and actually explains in a clear manner the psychological and emotional differences between men and women, some of which I hadn't ever really THOUGHT about. I ended up buying another copy for my soon-to-be married friends, and kept the first one for myself and my husband. Even after (and perhaps ESPECIALLY after) many years of marriage, this book has something to offer to keep those home fires burning!

The main idea of this book is to point to BOTH husbands and wives that they have a responsibility in marriage and it starts with a good attitude. I have read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and, as a comparison, it does make a lot of similar points, but also brings out how husbands can contribute to their wife's "desire" to properly care and feed them. I think I like this book better than the feeding of husbands because it really does highlight how men and women interact to create a loving marriage. She still gives a lot of the responsbility to women, especially in the first few chapters, but she points out that men shouldn't see it as an "obligation," but as a gift to be grateful for. She tells both wives and husbands to be appreciative instead of holding expectations all the time and griping out of disappointment that you're not being treated like you deserve.

Her advice is simple. Treat them how you would want to be treated. Look for the positive. Give 110% and you'll get back much more in return. If your marriage has been rough, give it time to heal. Don't expect change overnight. Marriage is hard work, but it should be fun; not a sibling relationship. Sex is what binds men to their women (men are not just horny jerks who see their wives as sex objects). Respect each other. It's about WE not ME.

The only thing that I think I didn't like is how she rants about "feminism" so much. As a woman I think that we can just plain be bums (feminsim aside) and blame our kids, hormones, PMS, fatique, and everything else for why we don't have the energy to treat our husbands properly. I know plenty of women who don't see themselves as feminists who are still jerks to their husbands. Just look past the feminist bashing and get to the substance that's deeper in the book and you're sure to be motivated to be a better spouse (both husband and wife) in some way. The book gains more substance the further you read.

If your marriage needs improvement in any way, I can guarantee you won't be wasting your time in reading this book. She has a very straight-forward, sometimes funny tone that can actually make things lighter for you.

I really like how she encourages those who have "been to hell" in their marriage that there is a lot of hope, and even hope that this struggle can make your marriage more solid than ever. How's that for optimism?

Happy reading and long live your marriage!

My wife gave this book to me for my birthday (along with my favorite home-made double-fudge chocolate cake). I thought -- great -- another relationship book. Good bedtime reading if I want to go to sleep... But Chapter One just hooked me -- this is not another "Men Are From Mars" book that paints men and women as different alien races who can only understand each other from a purely academic point of view. Here are the differences men and women love about each other -- supporting why God made us different and encouraging us to celebrate the differences!

This book gives support and hope to those of us guys who truly believe that when we stood in front of the minister and all our friends and family and exchanged solemn vows with our brides, we were making a lifetime commitment to be with someone for the rest of our lives, that we were going to travel a long road together and that it would be bumpy some times, as Dr. Laura calls it "the bridge over troubled waters" but that the voyage is worth it for ourselves and most importantly for our children. And that this consecrated commitment of love is a sacred thing that should be cherished, nourished and celebrated.

So after I finished the book, I turned to my wife and asked her if she would be, as Dr. Laura says, "receptive to my amourous advances" in the future. She winked at me and said, "The key word is amourous." Guess I'll be buying her more flowers in the future.

While attending a party (in my younger days), I said I believed in the sanctity and institution of marriage. A pompous, arrogant, and obnoxious man at my table said: "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?".

Words can not describe the silent anguish, embarrassment, and tears - I saw in the eyes of his date. I thought to myself: "What a cruel and horrible thing to say!". Yet it was fashionable, facetious, and "hip", at that time.

Sadly, this type of trite expression is still prevalent in today's "any-thing- goes -society". In my response (which left him speechless) I said: "Because I want more than just milk!". Since that time, like many selfish people, he has died a lonely, premature death - while I am still having my milk and drinking it too.

Sentiments like the one above and many others dealing with real-life problems are addressed in Dr. Laura's informative book. Reading it will make everyone presently in a marriage ... stop, think, and look at their partner with a new set of principles, perspectives, and responsibilities.

The essence of the book is that men and women are different and those differences should be embraced, not ignored. Page two, points out advice to which all of us should adhere:

l. Treat your spouse as if you loved them with your last breath - no matter how contrary to that you might feel at any one moment.

2. Think hard everyday about how you can make their life worth living.

3. Be the kind of person you would want to love, hug, come home to, and sacrifice for.

This book does not have, in Dr Laura's words: "The usual psychobabble". However, it does offer something refreshingly unique; the truth. If you can handle it; life can be a fulfilling, adventurous, and marvelous experience for you and your partner ... in this thing called love.
Reggie Johnson, Success-Tapes.Com

I am a man. I don't listen her radio show and I don't consider myself her "fan". My impressions from Dr. Laura and her philosophy are based entirely on this book. Well, it is really a valuable, detailed and potentially saving book for a troubled serious relationship. I agree that certain pieces of advice may seem "old-fashioned". However, I prefer to think of them as classical. The discussed principles have established as working and quite successful for centuries and the peak of divorces nowadays more or less proves that "back to bases" may be exactly what we need. I am thankful to Dr. Laura for having the courage to state 1:1 what she thinks, believes and based on numerous surveys knows is effective and valuable.

I have to say that she has an in-depth knowledge and view about relationships and ways to improve them without giving "quick-fix" tips. She makes it very clear that it takes work, commitment and care to turn around a stagnant relationship. What is more, I think that her advice to women to avoid saying "no" to sex is misunderstood. She actually presents this particular aspect as reception to man's amorous advances. The nightmare of every middle-aged man is to do not be able to back them with good performance in bed. The last thing she preaches women is to forget about themselves, their desires and career and to become slaves of their men. It is just the opposite. Dr. Laura herself has a successful career AND at the same time she does her best to adhere to all those female specific principles and qualities. Although I don't agree with absolutely everything, there is A LOT every open minded man and woman can and will get from this book. That's why I highly recommend it.

Getting back to the basics of marriage! Don't pay attention to the feminists who hate Dr. Laura who haven't even read the book. Feminists have sent out emails to go on sites like these and to bash the book. Guess what, there are differences in men and women. All her books have brought me and my wife closer together, by having more love conveyed to each other by serving one another. Whats the big deal about appreciating the man being the provider, and the man showing his woman love for keeping a wonderful home while raising your own kids instead of shuffling them off to a day care?

This book is not about a woman being submissive. Its about both husband and wife concentrating on our rolls and showing each other love and admoration for all the work we each do to make each other happy! If you read with an open mind, and make it acitve in your life, you will have a better marriage! And yes, I am a manly man, not some girlie man. I am a former Marine and former Police Officer. I guarantee it Dr. Laura's books make a difference!

Many men might be turned off by the idea of reading a Dr. Laura book, because they perceive her radio show and books as intended exclusively for female audiences. This may be the case for Oprah -- which no self-respecting man can or should watch! - but not for Dr. Laura.

Dr. Laura may be the best advocate for the male sex on this planet. No one else is writing books like "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" about the male's simple needs for comfort, security, food, a well-ordered house, and a good sex life -- and getting this point across to a female audience. While it is sad that men can't express these needs themselves -- because they are too afraid of "offending" their wives -- we should be glad that Dr. Laura is doing it for us.

Where "Husbands" advocates for women to treat their men better -- and to expect men to behave better as a result -- "Marriage" emphasizes reciprocity in marriage. Men need to learn how to treat their women, and vice versa.

I doubt the effectiveness of Dr. Laura's advice in a truly bad marriage -- where reciprocity never reveals itself -- but in a normal marriage, her advice can be enriching.

It's a good idea for men to keep reading her books. She's doing us all a big favor.

Although Dr. Schlessinger's new book, THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF MARRIAGE, is somewhat of a continuation of her best selling "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", reading the latter is by no means a prerequisite. Feeding of Marriage is a stand alone volume geared towards both spouses, not the singular target of the wife. The structure is the same as Dr. Laura's other books with an intermingling of phone calls, emails and letters from listeners of her show.

The main focus here, deftly illustrated by O. Henry's "The Gift of the Magi" which is briefly described in the introduction and is the predominant theme throughout the book, is all about spouses giving more of themselves and finding the true happiness of marriage in the giving, rather than the receiving. This principle is supported throughout the book, but along the way, Dr. Laura takes the reader through a contingent of sage marital advice designed to strengthen marriages regardless of longevity.

It is an undeniable truth in life that "perception is reality". Dr. Laura poses to marital combatants that if we change our perceptions, we, in fact, change our reality. In other words, how we look at things can change the entire foundation of what it is we are looking at. Is the glass half full, or is it half empty. There are many other undeniable truths expounded upon here, such as "you get more flies with honey than with vinegar", but I'll leave those for the reader to discover.

As always, Dr. Laura cuts through the feminist agenda that has done much to destroy marriage and the lives of countless men, women and children, and replaces it with sage advice on how to build a strong, healthy, loving marriage capable of enduring the ups and downs of life.

As a Minister, and one who counsels many young couples contemplating marriage and others trying to salvage theirs, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Even if you are a healthy marriage with no foreseeable problems, read this book with an objective mind and your marriage cannot resist becoming a stronger one.

Pastor Monty Rainey

www.weddingministrybydesign.com

Dr Laura has inspired me to be a better wife & because of that my family thrives! What she talks about is just being a caring,loving mate (something we just let go all to easily & want to just dish out junk) Kudos to Dr Laura, I only wish my friends that have recently divorced could have had the chance & make a terrific choice to just give it a shot.

I really wish more people would get over any predisposition's & check it out for themselves, its not women bashing at all.

I am a Dr. Laura fan, but I was let down by this book. It seemed very similar in content to The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. She spends a good amount of time talking about the negative side of the feminist movement and how it has hurt women and men and their relationships, and about how women, in particular, need to change. She has some worthwhile advice, but in a lot of ways it mirrors her previous book. If you read The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands I wouldn't pay to get this one too. But if your marriage is on the rocks and you're both willing to work it out and be honest, I would recommend this book and I think it would help a lot to go through each chapter together. There's definitely a lot of good ideas and examples to talk through (presented from both the male and female perspectives) that might help get to the root of problems.