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Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) Paperback – May 9, 2000
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In this valuable, even necessary, book, he shatters many myths about the typical profiles of regular offenders and the prevalence of such problems as sexual abuse and kidnapping. He also deconstructs the wisdom of traditional maxims such as "Never talk to strangers" and "If you are ever lost, go to a policeman." Without offering a compendium of every conceivable danger, he identifies warning signals and real risks that are often easy to spot once you know what to look for. He offers practical advice on recognizing signs of sexual abuse, choosing a baby sitter or nanny, how to prepare kids for walking to school alone, and how to teach children about potential risks without making them afraid to venture out of the house. And he continually stresses that denial and ignoring intuition are the biggest mistakes that parents make in protecting their kids from those that mean them harm. Well written and infinitely informative, Protecting the Gift affords parents more confidence and less reason for unnecessary worry. --Shawn Carkonen --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
There were things I liked about the book, and other things I did not. I will start off with the positives.
The author explains in detail the signs that someone is trying to manipulate you, which can be applied to fraud, sexual predators, kidnappers, etc. They boil down to Forced Teaming, Charm and Niceness, Too Many Details, Typecasting, Loan-Sharking, The Unsolicited Promise, and Discounting the word "No". I won't go through each of these. You'll have to read the book for that.
The author talks about how the "never talk to strangers" rule is harmful to children. He says on p.82, "In addition to the fact that it doesn't work, The Rule actually reduces safety in several ways. One is that within the message Never Talk to Strangers (because they may harm you) is the implication that people you know will not harm you."
He offers really good questions to ask babysitters, nannies, daycare, school, and doctors.
He feels it is very important to teach your child about touch, the body, boundaries, communication, assertiveness, and sovereignty over the body. I was very pleased to see this, as I have always been told that kids who know these things are far less likely to be abused. It concerns me when parents label their child's vulva/vagina "cookie" or something similar. Imagine, "Teacher, Johnny touched my cookie." Doesn't sound very alarming, does it? Replace it with, "Teacher, Johnny touched my vulva." That gets a lot more attention.
He is supportive of victims of sexual abuse. On p.Read more ›
Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe and Parents Sane is about how to teach your child to trust her instincts when it comes to safety. Since 90% of child abuse and abductions occur by people well-known to your child, teaching her to talk to strangers just doesn't work. Instead, the author gives you detailed and logical steps to take, starting as early as toddlerhood, so you'll know how to help your child learn to follow her instincive feelings about whether someone is safe or not.
Crucial information about how to be prepared for (God forbid but we should all be prepared just in case) the event that your child may be seperated from you in public. Examples include making a daily detailed mental note of the clothing your child is wearing, keeping large photocopies of your child's picture and name in your purse/wallet so you can hand them out to security personel within seconds of your child's disappearance and an action plan for immediate implementation.
There is SO much in this book - every bit of it worth reading so you can protect your child - and I can't recommend it strongly enough. Read it NOW and be prepared.
Gavin de Becker makes his living predicting and preventing violent behavior. His firm provides security and consultation to celebrities, athletes, world leaders, the CIA, U. S. Supreme Court and other security organizations around the world.
In Protecting the Gift, de Becker introduces parents to startling statistics revealing the violent reality of our culture: one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually molested by the time they reach adulthood; 90 percent of sexual abuse is committed by someone the child knows; the most common age that sexual abuse begins is when the child is three years old. Most parents live with a mindset that denies or ignores this reality. But as de Becker shows in his book, our children are living in this reality everyday.
De Becker's purpose in this book is two-fold: 1) to hit parents in the face with the real dangers awaiting children, and 2) to teach parents how to avoid fruitless worry and to take meaningful steps to protect children. On both points, de Becker succeeds.
Parents are raising children during an age when an FBI child-pornography sting indicts teachers, coaches, pastors and judges. It is an age of guns and date-rape drugs.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Perfect if you want to protect and educate your children regards predators.Published 10 days ago by Amazon Customer
A must read for all young parents. Who can your kids trust.Published 1 month ago by Robert Kearney MD
Much of this book is composed of anecdotal information - ie, stories that the author has heard of about abuse and/or kidnapping of children. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Jack London
A must-read for caring parents, as well as young women. Not your average book of advice about child rearing; full of truly useful, insightful, educational, forward-thinking,... Read morePublished 2 months ago by M.Blake
EXTRAORDINARY! Gavin De Becker gives the MOST spot on advice for protecting children and yourself. He is brilliant and his work is unequalled. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Andie
Just read the Gift of Fear and skip this. There's a lot of duplication; entire passages verbatim from GOF. Read morePublished 2 months ago by FaithJ
Great education for parents who have been conditioned to be "nice" and inadvertantly put their children at risk.Published 2 months ago by Sara