Customer Reviews

Proving Manhood: Reflections on Men and Sexism (Men and Masculinity)

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I am extremely surprised that I am the first reviewer of a book this excellent, a book which was copyrighted in 1997. It was not an easy read, so perhaps that is the reason. I have recently been reading books in an effort to understand sexism. Some were tracts, some mocked the tracts (thereby becoming a form of tract themselves) and a few seemed to answer my questions but were too abstract to give me the deeper understanding I sought. This book -- Proving Manhood by Timothy Beneke -- has given me the understanding I sought. I cannot say I enjoyed it -- I did not -- but it was profound and deep. Allan Johnson wrote "The Gender Knot -- Unraveling Our Patriarchial Legacy." This was the book that made the most sense before I read Beneke. Johnson says that Patriarchy hurts men as well -- that the system itself is oppressive. Beneke made it possible for me to viscerally understand that trauma to men and (as Beneke frequently says) the even greater trauma to women.

In the Introduction Beneke writes:

"In chapter 2, 'Proving Manhood,' I look at compulsive masculinity: the compulsion to create and conquer stress and distress as a way of proving manhood and asserting mens' superiority to women. I argue that pain--stress and distress of any kind--is problematic for men in ways that threaten manhood and lead to sexism. ... One way that boys and men cope with this is to take flight into male glory, which can be a substitute for infantile safety."

Beneke's closing statement is:

"I am aware of the danger in these discussions of speaking of men as oppressed by gender, but it is clear that gender injures men and diminishes their humanity. I am not saying that women oppress men but that the whole system of gender does and, in particular, that men oppress men as men. Men, taken as a whole, do not treat women very well, but they do not treat each other very well either."

These quotes do not convey the essence of the book, but perhaps they convey some of the flavor.