Customer Reviews

Prude: How the Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls (and America, Too!)

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Liebau's book is for anyone who cares about what is going on in American culture -- parent or not. It is extremely well-written, well-researched, and filled with important information about how American culture is shaping the lives of young women in the modern age. The book's premise -- that our culture's oversexualization has caused young women to believe that sexiness trumps intelligence and character -- may not seem at first to be a revolutionary one. But I suspect that most people over the age of 18 will be astonished to read this book's detailed presentation of the unique challenges faced by young women today. As a parent, the book is invaluable. For anyone who cares about what is going on in American culture, it is equally important. "Prude" is a very satisfying and enlightening book. Given the topic, it is also surprisingly entertaining.

It's about time someone addressed the out of control teen sexual issue. As an elementary teacher I hear little girls and boys talk about sex and it break my heart. If I could afford it, I would pass out a copy of this book to every parent in my classroom. It is a must read for everyone, not just parents of young girls.

I almost gave up reading Prude. I have read other books like this and have found they follow a fairly consistent pattern. The first few chapters are always the hardest to get through. Where my interest in this kind of book is in its cultural commentary and analysis, the initial chapters seem always to be filled with examples of sexual transgression. I suppose this is necessary to build the author's case that "our sex-obsessed cultural damages girls (and America too)." And so the first half of the book tells story after story and provides example after example of the moral decline of America. The author moves through web sites, magazines, television shows, popular music and fashion, showing how in each of these areas, girls are receiving damaging messages about their bodies and about sexuality. Television shows model sexual perversion as freedom and popular music objectifies both sex and sexuality. Web sites provide lurid details of base sexuality and consider it normal while the latest fashions seek to bare bodies for all to see. We know all of this, though there is still room to be shocked and disgusted. This continues for nearly 150 pages and by the end of the seventh chapter I had just about had enough. I put the book down.

But I picked it up again after seeing advertising for this book in Christian magazines and publications. It seems clear that, though this book is not published by a Christian imprint or by a Christian author (as far as I know), it is being marketed to Christians. And for that reason I thought I would read the second part and seek to understand how the author, Carol Liebau, analyzes all of these forces--what they mean and how they are affecting American girls.

Liebau does this over about 100 pages. In chapter 8 she discusses "Paying the Piper: The Toll on Young Girls and the Cost to America." Strangely, for a book being marketed to Christians, though she covers the physical toll, the economic toll and the emotional toll, she neglects the spiritual. While certainly the factors she outlines in this book may have serious consequences to girls emotions and bodies and to the nation's economy, they also impact a person's ability to know and to honor God and the way a person understands God. This is a serious consequence of our culture's perverse view of sexuality but one that is, unfortunately, neglected in this book.

In subsequent chapters she proposes a new sexual feminism that will once again celebrate sexual restraint rather than promiscuity, suggesting that this will allow women to reclaim their true power--"the power to hold men to standards of behavior that honor the differences between the sexes, even as it recognizes their intrinsic equality." She writes of the rise of moral relativism and the dire consequences of that major transformation and then of examples of hope--organizations that have arisen to challenge the status quo. And finally, she seeks to reclaim the concept and the word "Prude" so it is no longer a mark of shame, but of pride.

In a sense the book's power is not in the analysis but in the descriptions; not in the latter half of the book, but in the first half. Reading the awful details of moral decline is not easy, but it does allow us to get a glimpse into the unique challenges girls face today. Gone are the days when fathers would protect their daughters and when mothers would seek to ensure their daughters were chaste. Gone are the days when sexual restraint was a virtue. Instead, girls, often from their earliest days, are sexualized--taught that they are little more than the sum of their [private] parts. This hypersexualization harms girls and, as the author shows, harms nations. I would argue, though, that the harm to America goes far beyond economics and outbreaks of new and ugly sexually transmitted diseases. The harm goes as deep as the soul, scarring girls who will soon be women, searing consciences and keeping women (and men!) from understanding the true power and beauty of sexuality.

If we wish to get sexuality right and if we wish to temper the decline of sexual morals, we'll need more than prudes. We'll need men who act like real men, protecting women rather than taking advantage of them; we'll need fathers who love their daughters enough to protect them; we'll need mothers who are deeply involved in their daughter's lives; but mostly we'll need to return to the Source, to the One who created sex, who gave it to us as a gift, and who desires that we use it for His glory.

Most adults have noticed that things have changed since we were kids, but this book shows us how these changes came about and how they are damaging our kids and our culture. The "anything goes" mentality that pervades pop culture hurts kids' self-esteem and leads them down paths they will later regret. The research and writing in this book are impressive, and although much of the news is grim, it shows parents specific, direct things they can do to help their kids through the mire they're faced with every day.

"Prude" is a great book for parents. I must say that my eyes were opened to some things I wasn't aware of, and knowledge is power, right? I would say, however, that if you have teenagers in your home, be careful about letting them read this book. It may give them new ideas of ways to be bad, or they may find the author's explicitness titillating. I did think she took some of her ideas a bit too far, but then perhaps I've just been tainted by our wicked society.
If you consider yourself "conservative" and wish our society would reign back a bit, you will probably appreciate the author's point of view. She demonstrates how our society has become overly sexualized, but also gives us hope that the pendulum may be starting to swing the other way. Overall, very beneficial, especially for parents.

In Prude, Liebau examines the oversexualization of American culture and the damaging effect of this phenomenon on young women. Replete with facts, figures, and very clear-cut examples, Liebau's analysis of cultural trends is graphic and disheartening. For nearly the first two-thirds of the book, she provides example after example of the hypersexualized messages that bombard young girls from every angle. Working her way through the Internet, books, magazines, TV, movies, music, and fashion, Liebau offers a thorough, well-researched, and very detailed account of the often very risqué sexual themes that pervade each of these media. She looks at the explicit content in young adult novels and the nearly pornographic nature of music videos, the racy headlines in women's magazines and the sexually permissive attitudes prevalent on many of teens' favorite TV shows. The effect of the popular culture's portrayal of sex, argues Liebau, is that young girls are encouraged to treat the act casually and to strive for sexiness above intelligence, honesty, even kindness. They are taught that brazen sexuality is hip, attractive, and powerful, while modesty and reserve are peculiar and passé. Liebau's candid analysis is discouraging yet eye-opening as it sheds light on the sex-saturated reality with which teens are faced on a daily basis.

For readers familiar with works such as Wendy Shalit's Girls Gone Mild, Laura Sessions Stepp's Unhooked, Miriam Grossman's Unprotected, and similar tomes dealing with the current state of sex and singlehood, Liebau's work may feel a bit repetitive, as she doesn't say a whole lot that these women have not already said before in some way or another. But, for a parent, teacher, or young woman who is not familiar with these other works, Liebau's book is the best place to start. Think of Prude as the prequel to Girls Gone Mild or the high school introduction to Grossman's college-level study in Unprotected. Liebau's research is well-supported, her survey of the modern landscape the most comprehensive, and the portrait she paints the most disturbing, making Prude the best way to introduce the problem of oversexualization in our culture and the most effective means of encouraging readers to overcome it.

In fact, Prude's convincing, comprehensive nature is the most powerful aspect of Liebau's work. While many young women are quick to admit that sex plays a major role in the American media, most women are also quick to insist that raunchy song lyrics or a humorous sex scene in a teen movie don't actually influence our own attitudes toward sex, or those of our daughters, our sisters, or our peers. Several years ago, a younger and much less wise version of myself fell into this category, arguing that television shows like The OC and Desperate Housewives, and the lyrics of artists like Christina Aguilera and The Pussycat Dolls, were simply harmless entertainment - arguments that Liebau confronts head-on. Once I gained a more prudent perspective, I realized how such sex-induced fare had already influenced my own attitudes as well as those of my peers, and I reformed my outlook accordingly. Had I read Liebau's book several years ago, however, I would have come to this realization much more quickly - and saved myself a great deal of trouble.

By drawing parallels between the portrayal of sex in the media and the attitudes of teens and young women toward sex in real-life, Liebau clearly proves that such entertainment not only encourages a cavalier attitude toward sex, it also denigrates those who approach the subject prudently. This outlook is absorbed by teens and young adults, infecting our culture like the common cold. Yet the first two-thirds of Liebau's book provide the first step to a remedy, as her poignant examples pack such a punch that they leave little doubt as to the negative influence of popular culture when it comes to sex. In fact, Liebau's unremitting examples will leave most readers so disgusted with today's media content that they will be sure to think twice before singing along to those raunchy lyrics again, or allowing their kids to do so. And this change in attitude is the first and most necessary step in changing the culture.

Yet, while Liebau makes it clear that the culture needs to change, she doesn't offer much guidance in terms of making those changes, and the final third of Prude loses some of the strength of the early chapters. In this section, Liebau examines the physical, emotional, and economic toll of our oversexed culture, listing consequences in an overview that feels a bit like it has come from a teen health textbook. She goes on to discuss the changing role feminism has played in the sexual equation, as well as the social trends that have allowed our current attitudes about sex to propagate. In an insightful and well-constructed argument, Liebau shows how the culture's marginalization of religion and emphasis on self-expression have led to moral relativism and, subsequently, overall moral decline, consequences that ultimately work to reduce the free nature of our society.

In her final chapters, Liebau wraps up by encouraging readers to change the culture, providing examples of organizations that promote chastity and character development (in an overview that is not nearly as comprehensive or as inspiring as that provided by Wendy Shalit in Girls Gone Mild) and setting basic guidelines for doing so. These guidelines, such as "give girls great expectations", "don't forget the boys", and "set the example" read a bit like common sense and could use elaboration. Yet Prude succeeds in showing readers that it is possible to alter the direction our culture is headed, and the book ends on an inspirational note. Meanwhile, Liebau succeeds in redefining what it means to be a prude, turning the term from a derogatory label to a classification that connotes goodness, modesty, and virtue.

Thanks to Liebau, I'm sure I'm not the only one who is proud to be a prude.

As a political liberal, I detest a great deal of what Carol Platt Liebau stands for, but I am in substantial agreement with her on the subject of this book.

In writing Prude, I think she must have struggled to keep under control her views of liberals, views that I find to be strange, but she did not entirely succeed, so here and there are unnecessary and gratuitous insults, ascribing to liberals views that are certainly not mine.

That detracts considerably from the book, but sticking strictly to the subject at hand, I agree with almost all of what she writes.

I wish she had left out religious considerations. There is no agreement there, and it is not necessary to appeal to religion to build a powerful case supporting the main theses of the book.

An excellent albeit frightening book. Should be read by every parent of a teen age, or soon to be teen age girl.Prude: How the Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls (and America, Too!)

Prude makes a case that American culture has become sex-obsessed, and that our girls are becoming brainwashed to think it's OK that they are completely sexualized creatures. The author discusses the recent trends of teen sex parties, dirty emails, sexy barely-there outfits and the sexual messages in movies, television and music to make her points.

The problem is that the book makes the reader feel downright creepy, with the detailed descriptions of dirty teen books and orgy explosions in small towns. And when I wasn't feeling totally perverted just reading the author's words, I felt kind of defensive for taking part in what I'd considered rather innocent entertainment. Why yes, I realize that Sex and the City was very often smutty, but should I feel guilty that I, as an adult, viewed it? And Veronica Mars always seemed to me very independent and strong, but in Prude, she's made to be a slut. The author also seems to think that even 20 years ago, things weren't so bad. She fails to recall, I guess, Porky's movies and ZZ Top videos.

I found that I wanted to agree with her, because I'm a feminist who is outraged by the sexualizing of young girls (cherry print bikinis for the toddler set?). And I too wonder, as she addresses in the "Do-Me Feminist" chapter, if truly strong women will honestly find power on the stripper pole.

Overall, I think this book addresses such important issues that although it is flawed, teachers and parents of girls should consider reading it. After all, no one wants our daughters to be on Girls Gone Wild. But are we setting them up with some of our day-to-day choices?

Just once I wish someone could write a book that reports on the proliferation of the sexually-oriented culture aimed at ever-younger Americans, and yet not come across as a Puritanical moralist. Prude is certainly not that book. I read through the first few chapters and got my fill and then wound up skimming over the rest of the book. It's true childhood is under attack by a marketing effort to push the definition of "pre-teen" ever younger, and never before has American society reached levels of prurience that sweep so low, but the tone of this author's commentary on it all got under my skin. I also doubt she reached anyone out there who didn't already share her mindset and so I don't know how much value this book ended up being to our culture as a whole. Good subject for someone to tackle, but wrong tone to take.