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A Psychotherapy of Love: Psychosynthesis in Practice

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By Jim Newberry
[...]

Some suspected it, some hoped for it, and some knew it all along. Ann
Gila and John Firman come right out and say it: it is love that heals the
suffering soul, it is love that nurtures human unfoldment. This is the central
premise of their new book, A Psychotherapy of Love: Psychosynthesis in
practice.

The authors explain that this is not shallow or fantasy-based love, but
an empathy and cherishing similar to that which Carl Rogers called
unconditional positive regard, and Roberto Assagioli, the founder of
Psychosynthesis, called altruistic love. It is not simply a warm attitude
conjured up for the therapeutic hour, the authors say -- it is a far-reaching
love arising out of the realization that who we are, our deepest personal
identity, is in profound union with others, with all living creatures, and even
the natural world.

This is a generous book, a gift to both new and seasoned therapists
who want to relate to their clients in the most loving, practical, and effective
way possible.

At just under 200 pages, the hardbound edition includes 12 chapters,
notes on each chapter, references, and an index. The chapters include clear
descriptions of Psychosynthesis theory and practice, along with illustrations,
and client-therapist dialogs

Psychosynthesis is one of the first therapy models to include both the
psychological and spiritual dimensions of the person. Its approach to
therapy is based on empathic, altruistic love. It focuses on the whole of our
lives, from the depths of suffering to the heights of transpersonal awareness.
This conception of Psychosynthesis features what the authors call the
"self-realization hypothesis", which holds that there is an innate impulse
within us all to grow and develop toward our greatest potential. In
describing this hypothesis, the authors explain, "Each and every human
being is seeking good, even if that search is taking distorted and destructive
forms. . . . No matter what people are doing, we can know they are
somehow, in some way, seeking to realize Self." The authors go on to
caution, "This does not mean we enable addiction, condone criminality, or
allow people to use or abuse us; it means that we can love those caught in
these behaviors -- even while we help them address the behaviors -- knowing
they are ultimately attempting to realize our mutual union in Spirit."
Therapy clients are seen in this most respectful light.

The authors use the term "primal wounding" to describe the assaults
and abuses, traumas and insults we all experience in mild or profound ways
as we grow up. These are essentially instances of not being loved, not being
seen for the unique and valuable person we are. These wounds can lead to
anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, emptiness, feelings of abandonment,
meaninglessness, rage, and low self-esteem, as well as many other
distressing conditions. All caused, in short, by a lack of love.
Wounding and lack of love lead to what the authors call survival mode,
a way of being that allows us to carry on within the non-loving environment
with some sense of comfort and security, but at the cost of being cut off from
our true selves.

How then do we move out of survival mode and begin to reunite with
our true self? The authors explain that since it was a lack of love that led to
the wounding, it will be the presence of altruistic love that fosters healing. If
nowhere else, this should be available in the therapeutic relationship.
Firman and Gila include some thoughts about what they call "the way
of the therapist." "Those called to the way of the therapist will . . . struggle
with survival patterns, including addictions large and small; undergo crises
of transformation, major and minor; explore their own depths of wounding
and heights of transpersonal awareness; become increasingly proactive in
their inner life and outer expression; and nurture an ongoing relationship
with the deeper truth of their lives."

I would like to end the same way the authors, John and Ann, end their
book, with this suggestion: "Trust that your expression of empathic love is
what your clients need most."
END