Customer Reviews

Pulling Your Own Strings: Dynamic Techniques for Dealing with Other People and Living Your Life As You Choose

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1 star:		(2)

 

 

I read this book 22 years ago, when I was an 18 year old heading off to college. The book provided me with ways to be assertive and achieve my goals without allowing others to walk all over me.

Now, I am the mother of three teenagers and am reading this book again with my 14 year old daughter, in an effort to help her through a difficult time dealing with an authority figure (who is manipulative and abusing her power.)

I am simply amazed at how much of the information in the book has worked its way into my core beliefs over the years...from handling difficult people and situations to teaching my kids how to handle bullies. As we were reading the introduction, my daughter said, "Mom, I don't need to read this." When I asked her why, she commented "you've been teaching it to me all my life!"

Young adults, I highly recommend that each and every one of you read this book. Learn to stand up for yourself and be respected for doing so. Parents, you'll want to read it too!

This work provides specific guidance on how to take control
of one's life ( to the extent that is possible). For instance,
he describes how to operate from a position of strength by
placing people on an equal plane and addressing them by their
first names. In addition, the author criticizes our tendency
to be governed by past events that we can no longer control
or change. He explains the need to draw boundaries and assert
ourselves in defense of our basic rights. The author
recommends the behavioral approach in order to respond to people
and events that make us uncomfortable. Above all, the author
warns about placing institutions over ourselves and personal
self-worth and satisfaction. Finally, the author asks us to
look around ourselves in an effort to make our daily lives
better for everyone. He even quotes the Declaration
of Independence (July 4, 1776):
"All experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to
suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed."

The book is an excellent behaviorally based reference which
can help us manage our affairs both privately and in the
workplace setting.

Dr Dyer is a rare individual. He really understands. He has found simplicity. The truth is simple, that which I have yet to understand! I read this book first, and felt compelled to learn how to pull my own strings. I freed myself from outside influences by reading this book, Pulling Your Own Strings. We learn to be more than a sailboat, drifting on the sea with a fixed sail, frolicking about, at the mercy of every wave and breeze. I learned how to be effective at grabbing the control panel, that pull the strings of my life, which at times takes a bit of assertion. Combining that with one of his other books, "Your Sacred Self, I gained peace. I finally found the key to dealing with stress. I did so by learning what meditation really is from him. Instead of a lotus position, and humming a mantra, I learned that it is simply sitting or lying still, undisturbed, for ten or fifteen minutes, letting all thoughts leave my mind. Each thought is tied to an emotion. You come to a place that is quiet and peaceful, and your arise refreshed, renewed, and unfettered with stress and resentments. Then your greatest problem solving mind is present, solutions appear. It is true. What a great tool. Instead of resorting to addictive, and destructive habits, or substances to deal with stress, he has shown me the ultimate solution.
So there you have it, with Pulling Your Own Strings, you learn to be the master of your own life, and recognize those, and those things, that try to direct us, and not neccessarily for unselfish reasons. Then freed from outside control, we begin to see that the solutions to our lives are available to us from within. In Your Sacred Self, he teaches us that ego is controlling, and dominating our lives. It is at war with your greater spiritual self. It keeps us from sitting still. Always striving, but never arriving. Let the noise and clamor cease. We are all one together. We don't need ego driven domination, but rather cooperation. Get rid of the anger. Learn how to eliminate the negative influences in your life. The most powerful way for someone else to control you, is to make you angry. Once they see it no longer works, they usually leave you alone, or it makes them angrier that they no longer can control you. "It is like heaping coals of fire on their heads" Then acquire joy and peace. I know it sounds like cliches, but it is true, and I don't know how else to say it.
Dr Dyer gives you the tools, to build a new house. Or should I say, he reminds you of the house that has been there all along. Only the expressions are original, the thoughts lie within us all.

This is the first "self-help" book that I have attempted to read, and I am very impressed with it! It starts off somewhat slow, but when you are determined to get through this book and understand what Dr. Dyer is actually saying, then your whole mindset will change! This book has definitely opened my eyes to my own self-defeating behaviors, and it has made me want to stand up for myself and stop being victimized by others. I have really taken to heart the advice in this book. I belive that most people can feel better about themselves and improve their situations in life if they put to use the techniques that Dyer talks about. The majority of our self-esteem problems come from how we view ourselves, and when we realize that we count as a person, then our situation will most likely start to improve. Dyer has given the most analytical minds (including those like me with a degree in Psychology) a lot of food for thought.

After reading Dr. Dyer's REAL MAGIC, I was inspired enough to read some of his other books, including "Pulling Your Own Strings", a volume with techniques for self-assertion. Dyer's delivery in this book is quite different than in Real Magic, which has a much more spiritual tone throughout.

"Strings" has no-nonsense, practical ways to get what you want, without giving in to self-defeating "victim responses" to situations. I have already found these practices useful in my life. In one recent instance, I fought an injustice that was done to me that I otherwise would have ignored, had I not read that book.

Assertiveness often takes work and persistence, but is very freeing, and great for ones' self-esteem. I did have a few reservations about some of the suggestions, which I though may have bordered on the offensive - but otherwise, there are valuable ideas in this book, especially for the "doormats" among us.

This book will shake the very foundation of your beliefs.It will challenge what you deemed to be true and traditions that you have held on for years. It will open your eyes to your present situation and give life changing ideas. This books teaches you that you that the most powerful force in your life is you. Maybe they should call this book "awakening the sleeping giant".

Many of us, inadvertanty, or out of fear,respect,socio-cultural norms, or sheer lack of initiative and courage/self-confidence....refuse to take control and surrender ourselves to others; be it family members,parents,friends,peers,superiors, or people in authority etc. and end up being miserable and live a life that's not our own.

Dr.Dwyne Dyer, a psycho-therapist and counselling pyscho-analyst, and author of many self-help books including the runaway bestseller "Your erroneous zones" is back with another very intersting and useful book; Pulling your own strings.

The basic thrust of the book is to make people take charge of their lives and not to let others victimise,manipulate or control our life. Its only when you are in-charge, you can stop being miserable, and guide your own destiny the way you want it.

Many of us with normal faculties have handicapped ourselves and victimised ourselves by belief systems and mental blocks. In search of security, we compromise and end up letting others control and confine us by using our own linitations and fears against us.

To live a life of your own choice, you have to be a bit rebellious, stand-up for yourself, and stop being manipulated by others by acquiring assertive behavioral skills.

The book gives various tips on victimisation, overcoming the fear of the unknown, avoidance of traps,assertive behaviour, elimination of self defeating judgements,creative aliveness, and many other day to day road blocks that everyone of us comes across.

Last few pages ongauging the victim profilei in various day to day situations and the advisible assertive response strategies are very interesting.

The book is a must read for all the adolescents, young men and women, and even grown ups who many times feel helpless, depressed, confused, and victimised. A compulsory reading for all the parents who presume that they alone are best judges for what is good for their children and refuse to let them grow on their own .

I first read this book in the early 1980s when I was suffering from a major depression. The book helped me to make sense of things, and I've lost count of the number of times I've loaned this book, given copies away and recommended it to others. It's one of the most powerful books I've ever read and I hope it never goes out of print.

I highly recommend this book "Pulling Your Own Strings" By Dr. Wayne Dyer, as it provides vital essential teachings on the fact that we literally have the power to make our own choices in life. A Great Personal Stength how to book. I Great book on maximizing your confidence and self-esteem. A brilliant, beneficial, excellent self-help book of encouragement, and teaching you how to operate from strength and freedom. A must read. From: Diana Montgomery in California.

Its a beautiful and a powerful book. It presents everyday life situations and a variety of alternative reactions to choose from. The book was written by Dr Dyer in his early days and I would recommend others to read his subsequent more spiritual books like "You will see it when u believe it" as they give one a complete view of Dr Dyers personality and also give the reader a more spiritual perspective to every day life situations as opposed to the practical perspectives offered by Dr Dyer in the above book. Reading the book without reading the later books may trap as victim reader in flipping from being a victim to a victimizer.