Customer Reviews

Punk Land

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Carlton Mellick the 3rd's "Punk Land" (a pseudo-sequel to his 2001 novel "Satan Burger") wastes no time in getting straight to the story. It is set in an alternate heaven for punks, where Sid Vicious is God and you are judged for entry not by St. Peter but rather a number of gate attendants who decide whether or not you are punk enough. Mellick's trademark off-beat humor and sideways take on religion is ever-present, along with a slew of philosophical ideas mixed with a juvenile sense of mischief. Although it is a sequel, it stands completely on it's own. Fans of Satan Burger will appreciate the references and the continued story of Nan and Mortician, but new readers aren't left wondering about a back story. And anyone with even a slight interest in punk rock or punk culture will be in well, punk heaven, with all the references to punk history and culture and appearances by icons including G.G. Allin, Henry Rollins, and Johnny Rotten. The book is also full of illustrations, diagrams, photos and lists, which help to give it a wonderful multimedia type feel. You'll find yourself torn between finishing the paragraph you're in and jumping directly over to the flier for the "PBR Pogo Joust" advertised on the next page. This is a great book, a sublimely goofy sort of work that is effortlessly good but never takes itself too seriously. Highly recommended for anyone who likes Mellick's work, but even more so for anyone who has never read any of his books. This is a great place to discover the works of a young, groundbreaking author who is only getting better with time.

WARNING: This is my first review on Amazon. SECOND WARNING: This is my first time reading Carlton Mellick's work. THIRD WARNING: If you do not find sh*t humorous, go pick up Dr. Phil's book.

Unlike most other reviews (no offence, dude), I will not restate the premise of the book showing you I read the premise of the book. Punk Land is a journey into punk's past & the crap we did in the name of punk. It's funny in a "why in the hell did we do that in the first place" kind of way. It's Adams' Hitchhiker meets Heavy Metal w/ a punk soundtrack. Now that woulda been cool, a cd w/ the book. Hey CM3, work on a "special edition" you can sell in a few months.

Should you pick up this book? Yes. Why? It's different. It's the kind of book you need to read after digesting Palaniuk. Punk Land reminds us that no matter how idiotic we feel, it's better to be yourself than attempt to be someone you're not. A lesson truly needed in today's plastic society.

Carlton Mellick III is one of the best authors working today, and Punk Land (a sequel to 2001's Satan Burger, although this can be read as a stand alone), does nothing to tarnish that fact. I might go as far as saying this is possibly his funniest work to date, with biting satire and crass sexual humour, as well lots of as notes and illustrations (ranging of "Robot Stripper Rules" to a portrait of what God REALLY looks like) blending together to create a sweet and meaty punk rock epic.

Story-line wise, Punk Land is the tale of Goblin, a deformed man living in outside of heaven, working as the gate keeper of Punk Land and living with his best friend, Frog Strips the dildo. When Nan and Mort, the only survivors of the earth's destruction, arrive at his doorstep, he is forced to leave his little gatehouse and return to punk land. This once anarchistic world has disintegrated into a mess of hypocrisy, where people are considered being punk depending on how they walk or brush their teeth. When Goblin makes the mistake of throwing his best friend in the face of Johnny Rotten, trouble explodes, and it looks like only the underground punk resistance can help...

CM3, where do you get your ideas?

Set in the punk version of heaven as mentioned in Mellick's SATAN BURGER the story of PUNK LAND follows an unlikely hero named Goblin. Goblin (an afterlife mutant, avid dildo collector and Punk Land gate keeper) teams up with Nan, Mortician and Shark Girl to save the punk afterlife from the distopian anti-anarchist government the Punk Council.

Along the way they meet punk icons such as GG Allin, his brother
Merle and Seth Putnam. Shark Girl a half-shark assassin woman with a three foot tall blue mohawk is one of my favorite characters in recent fiction, surpassing even my love for William Gibson's razor girl Molly. This book is chock full of the absurd and ultra creative anectdotal diversions that will thrill fans of Mellick's Satan Burger. Even if you haven't read Satan Burger this book is a perfect introduction to the wonderful amusing style of this author. Take for example The PBR Pogo Joust. Characters encounter a poster for this event while passing through a town in Punk Land:

Objective: Four teams of drunk fat guys on pogo sticks will hop around attempting to knock down jousters on opposite teams. If you fall down or are knocked down you will be eliminated. The game is over once there is only one team left standing. Whoever passes out first is the winner.

This book is a very addictive and extremely imaginative satire. It really brings you into a very twisted and unique world, and I can see why CM3 has generated such an underground following. My only criticism is that the end feels like the author is trying to explain what you're supposed to get out of the book. But that is being a little nit picky.....a great book and I look forward to reading more from CM3.

There is a lot going on here...commentary on religion, government and style. Not all topics are necessarily fully developed, yet the story is satisfying and entertaining.

Imagine a place where punk lifestyles, ideals and behaviors rule. Punk Land is that place. Punks denied access to heaven are exiled to Punk Land where they spend the afterlife as they did on earth. However, in a place where everyone is punk, different is the norm. Punk is the fashion and therefore no longer punk. A government forms, rules are put in place and non-conformists are punished. Even punk paradise succumbs to the faults and foibles of an earthly society.

The story documents the activities or a band of punks who endeavor to destroy the system and return Punk Land to a place where the individual rules and intelligent anarchy is the order of the day. Along the way, the reader is subject to heavy doses of blood, sex, irony, satire and action. Individually, some of these devices can be off-putting, but collectively they really work.

In addition, the characters work well together and are likeable and genuine. The situations in which they find themselves are bizarre and violent, yet intriguing and entertaining.

The coarseness of the "Bizarro" genre and distinctiveness of Mellick's style may tempt you to put the book down before finishing it - or worse yet, prevent you from picking it up. But if you have a passion for books that go beyond the boundaries of popular fiction and offer unique styles and perspectives, then Punk Land is your next read.

Mellick and his colleagues could very well be this generations Burroughs, Vonnegut, Thompson, Easton-Ellis or Palahniuk - better jump on the Bizarro bandwagon before it becomes all the fashion to do so.

Satan Burger is one of my favorite books, but Punk Land is even better than that. It has the characters Nan and Mortician from Satan Burger. It takes place soon after the events that took place in the first book. I recommend reading Satan Burger first but Punk Land is such a better book and is written in a more entertaining style. There are drawings in it like the ones from Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast of Champions. The book is about a heaven for punks, which was briefly talked about in Satan Burger. There is a character named Goblin who is obsessed with dildos. He also has a pet dildo that is alive. He meets Nan and Mortician and then they explore Punk Land. Punk Land has pizza cats which are pieces of pizza that have legs and walk around, babies that live in the sewers, shark people, the midget olypmics, and a war between corporate punks and traditional punks.

There is a lot of great stuff in this book. It isn't just for fans of punk. Actually, if you take punk too seriously you won't like it. The author makes fun of punk a lot, because he is or was a punk and can see the humor in it. For the most part this book is a horror fantasy satire.
If you've liked Carlton Mellick III books in the past this will be your new favorite.

Carlton Mellick III is a very entertaining author, taking the base of the horror genre and twisting it with satire, adding healthy portions of belly laughs, and some of the grossest scenarios worthy of Edward Lee.

'Punk Land' is about a man once named Cal Corncob who dies and goes to heaven, where his new name is Goblin. Unfortunately, entering heaven causes massive deformities. Goblin had been a quiet man with an abnormal dild0 fetish, collecting them for display on his ping-pong table. He didn't use them except for his obsessive/compulsive disorder of throwing them at people, which he cannot control in heaven either.

From regular heaven, Goblin travels to a new, recently developed corner of the divine afterlife called Punk Land, created by and presided over by Sid Vicious. Goblin still has few friends, even in heaven, but when Punk Land begins to deteriorate, Goblin meets Shark Girl, Nan, and Mortician. Too many strange rules are popping up on the entry-forms for Punk Land, and its up to Goblin and Shark Girl to get to the bottom of the clean-cut mess and return Punk Land to its anarchistic ways.

The book is sprinkled with some very hilarious cartoons, drawings, pictures, lists, and tidbits of information, like what can and cannot be done with the Robot Strippers. Check out the back of the book for information on beautiful cover model Darenzia.

Mellick is the master of horror satire and parody. Although I prefer his other works, like 'Ocean Of Lard', 'Sea Of Patchwork Cats', and 'The Menstruating Mall', 'Punk Land' is still a great, light read if you want something squishy and disgusting in a tongue-in-cheek tale. Enjoy!

Seth Putnam rules. Shark Girl is my new crush. I will reread this book because of the illustrations that cracked me up so hard I fell off the toliet.

This loose follow-up to "Satan Burger" brings back Nan and Mortician, along with many new characters, including Goblin, Shark Girl, and GG Allin, just to name a few. It centers around the idea of a heaven for the punk community, which was touched upon in "Satan Burger."

I really liked this book, but honestly I preferred "Satan Burger." The ending of this book was a little disappointing and didn't really fit the bizarro, f***ed up sense of absurdity that I was hoping for. Don't get me wrong, I really liked it. I just thought that "Satan Burger" was better.

You don't have to read "Satan Burger" first to read "Punk Land" and understand or enjoy it. It can be read as a stand alone book. As with any other Mellick book, I definitely recommend it to any bizarro/punk fan.