The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women [Hardcover]

Jessica Valenti (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 24, 2009

The United States is obsessed with virginity — from the media to schools to government agencies. In The Purity Myth Jessica Valenti argues that the country’s intense focus on chastity is damaging to young women. Through in-depth cultural and social analysis, Valenti reveals that powerful messaging on both extremes — ranging from abstinence curriculum to “Girls Gone Wild” infomercials — place a young woman’s worth entirely on her sexuality. Morals are therefore linked purely to sexual behavior, rather than values like honesty, kindness, and altruism. Valenti sheds light on the value — and hypocrisy — around the notion that girls remain virgin until they’re married by putting into context the historical question of purity, modern abstinence-only education, pornography, and public punishments for those who dare to have sex. The Purity Myth presents a revolutionary argument that girls and women are overly valued for their sexuality, as well as solutions for a future without a damaging emphasis on virginity.

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Making a cult of virginity via media stereotyping and “abstinence-only” sex education damages young women, Valenti says, and rolls back women’s rights by emphasizing sexuality and deprecating personal character. Furthermore, the book’s most thought-provoking chapter points up an insidious connection between chastity and pornography: “the porning of America” is vital to those in the virginity movement, which needs increasingly available hard-core porn to justify its extreme regressivism. The dangerous belief that a woman’s primary value is sexual underlies the objectification and sexualization at the heart of the virginity movement’s agenda of controlling and defining women, Valenti maintains. When young women see their bodies and sexuality as commodities, that isn’t caused by porn culture but by “a larger societal message that . . . their sexuality is not their own.” So, is a “post-virgin world” possible? Full of piercing insight and wit (recalling her own sexual initiation, Valenti quips, “I fail to see how anything that lasts less than five minutes can have such an indelible ethical impact”), this is an important addition to women’s studies. --Whitney Scott

About the Author

Jessica Valenti is the founder and Executive Editor of Feministing.com, and the author of Full Frontal Feminism and The Purity Myth. Her writing has appeared in many publications including The Guardian, and in 2007 she was named one of Elle magazine's 2007 IntELLEgentsia. She lives in Astoria, New York.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 300 pages
• Publisher: Seal Press (March 24, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1580052533
• ISBN-13: 978-1580052535
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #443,188 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Jessica Valenti - called the "poster girl for third-wave feminism" by Salon and one of the Top 100 Inspiring Women in the world by The Guardian - is the author of three books: Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide to Why Feminism Matters, He's a Stud, She's a Slut...and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know, and The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women which is being made into a documentary by the Media Education Foundation. She is the editor of the anthology Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape, which was named one of Publishers Weekly's Top 100 Books of 2009. Jessica is also the founder of Feministing.com, which Columbia Journalism Review calls "head and shoulders above almost any writing on women's issues in mainstream media."

Her writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Nation, The Guardian (UK), The American Prospect, Ms. magazine, Salon and Bitch magazine. She has won a Choice USA Generation award, was featured as one of ELLE magazine's "IntELLEgentsia", and was named one of the Left's Top 25 Journalists by The Daily Beast. She has appeared on The Colbert Report, Morning Joe and the Today show, among others, and was recently profiled in The New York Times Magazine under the headline "Fourth Wave Feminism."

Jessica is also a widely sought after speaker who gives dozens of speeches annually at universities and organizations in the U.S. and abroad. She received her Masters degree in Women's and Gender Studies from Rutgers University, where she is a part-time lecturer. Jessica lives in Sunnyside, Queens with her husband, daughter, and their very cute cat and dog.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

101 of 112 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thought Provoking... And Left Me Wanting More, March 29, 2009

By 

K. Howard - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women (Hardcover)

I suppose the fact that this book left me wanting more can be both a positive and negative thing. Overall, this book offers a fresh perspective on why the virginity/chastity/purity movement is harmful to young women. Jessica drives home the point that young women are more than whether or not they've had premarital sex and society/media has done a poor job of acknowledging that, as the stories we hear about women and sexuality often reinforce the virgin/whore dichotomy.

Too often young women are depicted as tainted, unlovable and dirty unless they adhere to a strict model of what the Christian Right deems acceptable sexuality. The book discusses at great length abstinence only sex education classes where girls are being taught that they are like a "used lollipop" if they have sex before marriage, and worse for young women (and men) the book offers evidence that some educators are flat out lying to students. (e.g. exaggerating the failure rates of condoms and discounting or even denying their effectiveness in preventing STDs)

One thing Jessica points out that I never really thought about before is that "...young women who are sexually exploited are often young women of color from low-income communities who are perceived as inherently loose, unredeemable and hopeless." If you think about it this is true, because you have to be a "certain" type of girl to be thought of as a victim of sexual crime in the media (young, pretty, usually white - definitely a virgin). Otherwise, the woman is thought to be complicit in her attack. (she's on the streets anyways, she likes it, she's a slut already...etc).

Many many good things about this book, but what I would've liked to see more of is discussion on how the purity movement affects friendships between young women and they way we treat each other as women. As someone who grew up religious and was guilty of "slut shaming" others for something as innocuous as "making out", I was part of this movement and indoctrinated with thinking that sex before marriage = slut and was thus very concerned with my perceived purity/lack of "sluttiness."

I'm sure there will be many people on the right who will accuse the author (and pretty much all feminists) of promoting promiscuity but that's not what this is about at all. This book is about presenting a radical idea that sex and sexuality is more complex and nuanced than "pure" vs. impure", "virgin" vs. "whore." It's about being honest and breaking the cycle of judgment and ridiculous standards that most people don't adhere to here.

I'm actually surprised I haven't seen more reviews on this book, but I hope I do because as someone who has been on both sides of this movement I'm interested in hearing more discussion from both sides. But like Jessica, I'm tired of hearing the "feminists want girls to be slutty" argument. Overall, this is a really good book. So good that I just changed my review from 4 to 5 stars (I didn't want to seem like a gushing fangirl... but whatev, maybe I am. Sue me). But hey, at least I read the whole book before posting a review on it... :)

54 of 58 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars I hear her loud and clear!, June 16, 2009

By 

L. L Teuling "meloroze" (McAllen, TX) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women (Hardcover)

As the daughter of an Evangelical Christian minister (I often tell people that I cut my teeth on a Scofield Reference Bible) I should be on the defensive about this book. But actually, I found it worthwhile to read.

I grew up believing that virginity was a good thing, but I noticed that most of the burden of being a "virgin" was put on the girl and not on the guy. While many preachers and Bible teachers gave some lip-service to young men to abstain until marriage, I got the impression that pre-marital sex didn't seem to "damage" them us much as it supposedly "damaged" a woman. And the older I got, the more I thought, "If I am not to be 'damaged goods,' then I certainly don't want to marry a 'goods damager.'" You don't even have to be a feminist to know that a woman is not a man's possession. and these chastity and purity rituals that some young women are going through (BTW -- these were not happening when I was a teenager) make my jaw drop.

It seems to me that young women are faulted both for having sex and not having it. If we are having it, we are trashy, and if we aren't having it we are treated like ignorant little girls who knew nothing. Or we get called gay. (Yes, people try to throw that at women and girls, too!)

I also agreed greatly with the author when she decried the difficulty women have in getting a rape conviction if the woman in question was not a virgin when she was raped. To me, that's the same mentality as not prosecuting someone for stealing merchandise that was already stolen!

Perhaps my biggest problem is with the book is that I am still uncomfortable with the abortion issue. It's not a cut/dried matter, and I think that both sides of the issue over simplify things. However, this does not mean that the writer doesn't make some extremely good points about the double standard, and her points are well-taken.

Thankfully, there are a lot of good, rational men out there who reject the double standard. One of them, happily, is my husband, who approves this message!

56 of 70 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I didn't know it was possible ..., March 15, 2009

By 

Fabulous Feminist - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women (Hardcover)

for Jessica Valenti's books to get any more incredible. Valenti is talented beyond compare and with her brilliance shows her readers the importance of a revolutionary school of thought. The Purity Myth starts off with a perfect framework, setting the stage for the disgusting and oppressive tactics that arise as a result of forced virginity. With purity pledges and double standards, young women are taught that their morality means nothing, and that their sexuality defines them. With candor, Valenti dares to speak out, and thank goodness she does.

Valenti delves into more specific effects of the need for control over women's bodies creates. All the while, she gives strong statistics that only further enhance a well thought out argument. While the focus on virginity remains certain, The Purity Myth also branches off into the acceptance of "rape culture", abstinence only education, and violence against women. Together, the cocktail proves detrimental to the young women of America. Conservatives would have the masses believe that virginity keeps girls 'good' and 'clean' for the men that will own them in the future. Instead of accepting the norm, Valenti proves that women should be known as 'good' for their morals, not for their sexuality. She also offers knowledge into victim blaming, the appeal of abstinence, and "manliness".

The Purity Myth examines all the stereotypes and creepy practices of the politics of virginity, and its focus on girls rather than boys. The misogyny that still exists in regards to the sexuality of young women is imperceptible; with the help of Valenti and her extensive knowledge and solutions for the future, change will surely come.