Put It in Writing!: Creating Agreements Between Family and Friends [Paperback]

Deborah Hutchison (Author), Lynn Toler (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2009

Two media-savvy authors—Lynn Toler, Judge of TV’s Divorce Court, and Deborah Hutchison, creator of the award-winning “Bill Your Ex” system—offer concrete, conflict-free solutions to the difficult situations that arise between family and friends.

Did you ever lose a friend over an unpaid debt? Get stuck with a houseguest who has no intention of moving out? Quarrel with a relative over use of the family car? For those who follow Toler and Hutchison’s wise counsel, these common disputes need never happen.  Through dozens of true stories, they show how “putting it in writing”—creating a clear written agreement—prevents the kinds of bitter misunderstandings that can destroy relationships and devastate families. Here’s detailed advice on how to choose the right words—and enforce them, too. To make it really easy, they provide perforated forms with model agreements for lending money or property, adult children moving home, sharing a pet, taking care of aging parents, and more.

 

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Lynn Toler presides on the nationally syndicated show Divorce Court. She’s a published author and a regular contributor to NPR. Toler earned her undergraduate degree in English and American Literature from Harvard and a Juris Doctorate from the University of Pennsylvania Law School. As a litigator, she tried cases at all levels, from municipal to common pleas to federal court. In 1994, she was elected Administrative Judge in Cleveland Heights Municipal Court, and during her eight-year tenure, she oversaw hundreds of small claims, domestic violence, assault, and stalking cases.

 

Deborah Hutchison is co-founder and CEO of Panther Productions Inc., a production company specializing in film, publishing, and product design. As a result of the challenging issues she experienced with her first husband, Hutchison created the “Bill Your Ex” system—a popular tool for collecting court-ordered support payments from spouses. For this original product design, Deborah was awarded the 1990 Lammie Award for “Best New Product in a Law-Related Field.” She has appeared in magazines and on syndicated talk and radio shows.

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Sterling; 1 edition (September 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1402758707
• ISBN-13: 978-1402758706
• Product Dimensions: 10 x 8 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #634,028 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Deborah Hutchison holds a degree in Secondary Education from William Woods University and is the co-founder and CEO of Panther Productions Inc., a production company specializing in film, publishing, and product design.

As a result of issues she experienced with her first husband, Hutchison created the Bill Your Ex system--an award-winning tool for collecting court-ordered support payments from spouses. Since 1992, Hutchison has been successfully using family and friend agreements and now is seeking to empower and inspire girls and women through Gutsy Gals Inspire Me, a company that profiles extraordinary women in history and showcases women of today to provide positive, female role models.

www.deborahhutchison.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An indispensable book!, October 2, 2009

By 

Helen Arnold - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Put It in Writing!: Creating Agreements Between Family and Friends (Paperback)

This book is a real lifesaver! It's definitely difficult to loan things to people and set up parameters without feeling too pushy. This book not only includes agreements for lending money and personal property, but it also includes stories and talking points for a variety of other situations as well. I really believe that the more I can think of to talk about up front the fewer misunderstandings I'll have down the road. This book is well thought out and researched and I'm sure I'll put it to many years of good use!

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An invaluable Resource, September 17, 2009

By 

Cathy Klein (Texas) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Put It in Writing!: Creating Agreements Between Family and Friends (Paperback)

This book has surfaced two years too late. The year before my mother passed away was extremely difficult on all the immediate family members. My sister lived in the same town as our mother. My sister was naturally the go-to person for all her medical and life matters that arose that year. I live 1,700 miles away from them. This, as you can imagine, was extremely difficult on all of us. The situation created a lot of stress that still, sadly, exists long after my mother passed. I sincerely wish I had this book, and its agreement on aging parents, at the time. I truly believe this would have solved so many issues that we never saw coming. Everyone would have known what was expected of them. Ah, hindsight is better than foresight. Do yourself a favor and get this book. You never know what life will throw at you. Be prepared!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Advice, Old World Delivery, January 25, 2011

By 

C. MacPhail (Solana Beach, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Put It in Writing!: Creating Agreements Between Family and Friends (Paperback)

Almost everybody can use the advice in this book at some point, and should.

The advice: Before stepping into an arrangement with a friend or family member, take a moment to agree in writing. Or at least think it through using one of their excellent forms as a guide. Seemingly harmless arrangements get sticky fast.

Right on. The book could pay for itself 20 or 1000 times over.

Forms Provided:

1. Lending Money
2. Lending Personal Property
3. Temporary Residence/Grown Child Returns Home
4. Shared Parenting for Separated/Divorced Parents
5. Caring for Our Aging Parents
6. Safe Driving Parent --Teen Driver
7. Shared Pet/Pet Parenting
8. Lending Your Vacation Home
9. Personal Confidentiality
10. Roommate Agreement

It even has a form at the end -- *spoiler alert* -- that can be used as a basis for any agreement about anything.

So far, I give it 17 stars. If this was 1986 I'd leave it there.

But, no...The idea of photocopying these forms and filling in the little boxes and blank spaces with a ball point pen... it's so goofy I want to add 3 more stars.

In the real world, most people will need to tweak their photocopied forms. Cross out this. Need more space for that.

Plus, these are agreements. Expect some back and forth. More cross-outs and adjustments. Edited on paper, your agreement will soon be a tangled illegible mess. Rinse. Repeat.

The authors do not provide a way to pull their excellent forms into your word processor for modification. (You can buy PDF copies at their Web site, but didn't I already pay for these?) It would be nice if owners of the book had an access code for free electronic copies.

This is why I must reluctantly subtract 16 stars, leaving 4 lean but un-dented stars.

Better to have good advice delivered by smoke signal, than bad advice delivered in the right format.

I don't subtract anything for the cheesy trademarked phrases --"Sane Approach to an Emotional Issue (TM)" etc., etc. -- that litter each form. You're going to hand-type the forms anyway, so who cares?

Readers who know about a secret resource called Google, can find agreement forms for free. Including forms for a lot of situations that are not covered in this book. Some not as nice as Hutchinson & Toler's, but at least you can Copy...Paste them into Word without typing for 20 minutes.

Just one person's honest viewpoint. Read the others too, with special attention to the shiny 5-star reviews from people who were so impressed they chose this book as their very first amazon review!