Customer Reviews

Putting Kids First: Walking Away From A Marriage Without Walking Over The Kids

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I'm a morning DJ in Atlanta that went through a divorce 5 years ago. At the time of my divorce a complimentary copy of "Putting Kids First" cmae across my desk. I thought, just another in a continuing series of self help books. I was wrong. The main problem I was experiencing was getting my son (9 at the time) to open up and talk with me about what he was feeling. Michael's book, specifically chapter 7, what the kids are thinking, allowed me to approach my son with a project. "Son, can we go through this part together?" For the next 3 hours, we sat on my bed, where we laughed, cried, got mad, and vented about how unfair it all was. It was the most healing thing he and I could have done. I've since become good friends with Michael Oddenino, and his new family. In many ways this book saved my relationship with my son, and strengthened my relationship with his mother. I've personally thanked Michael many times, and I humbly thank him again in this forum. MOBY KICKS 101.5 Radio Atlanta, Ga.

I found this to be a well-written book filled with excellent, common-sense advice for divorcing parents. Helps you to find more positive solutions to create a 'child-centered' result during the divorce process. Another book you need to check out: Perfect Parenting The Dictionary of 1000 Parent Tips by Elizabeth Pantley (To keep you sane during the process!)

A very insightful book by a divorce attorney who has seen the detrimental affects divorce can have on children. I read this book when I was going through a divorce. It inspired me to take the higher road, which has gone a long way in restoring civility between my ex. & I. This has no doubt had an enormous affect on our children and their adjustment to the divorce.

I'm shocked that there aren't more reviews of this book. As a family law attorney, I can tell you that this is THE BEST BOOK ever written for both explaining clearly the damage that is often unwittingly done to the children by *each* parent, *and* how to *avoid* it!

Here's an example: Did you know that children are *keenly* aware that they are one-half from mommy, and one-half from daddy? So what does your child hear when they overhear mommy saying that daddy is a selfish jerk who only cares about money, or that mommy is a stupid gold digger? They hear "Half of who *I* am is a selfish jerk," or "half of who *I* am is a greedy gold digger."

Now what parent would do that to their child?? Not many - *if* they thought about it and realized what they were actually saying and doing to their children!

This book - in a fast, short, easy read - helps parents to realize *just* what impact their own actions are having on their kids, and how to *not* let it affect their children badly.

And make no mistake - whatever you do now *will* affect your children - not only now, but *forever*.

I have always advised my own clients to run, don't walk, to get *two* copies of this book - one for themselves, and one for their ex. In fact, if they were unable to communicate with their ex enough to even just give them the book, I would send the book on their behalf to their ex's attorney for them.

In case I haven't been clear enough - if you have children and are separated, divorced, or otherwise not living with their other parent - *get this book*. Now!

Anne P. Mitchell
Attorney at Law
Professor, Lincoln Law School of San Jose