On the far side of history, where only wild writers and film producers dare to venture - out yonder, in the old days and on the seas of high adventure, there were pyrates. They were a desperate crew.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
Review
Praise for 'The Pyrates' 'Its all there right down to a Dead Man's Chest, cleavages that are everything they should be and characters in sea bootswho say nothing but "Arr!" and "Me Hearty!" in a plot that is wonderfully absurd. Financial Times 'Fabulous...you'll want to stay up all night reading this one.' Washington Post 'The most wonderfully idiotic lovesong to swashbucklers ever set to Korngold trumpets. Fraser again proves himself the master.' New York Times Praise for 'Black Ajax': 'Mr Fraser is a great historical novelist and in Black Ajax he is at the very top of his form. Damme if he ain't.' Christopher Matthew, Daily Mail 'This is not a flashy novel, wearing its learning noisily. It's rigorous, intelligent, meticulously horrifying. Wonderfully well done.' Nicci Gerrard, Observer
--This text refers to an alternate
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From the Publisher
Hollywood meets the bounding main in this Technicolor pantomime by the creator of Flashman, a gloriously silly swashbuckling saga full of buccaneers, tall ships, desert islands, and heaving seas and bosoms. It’s all there, right down to a Dead Man’s Chest, cleavages that are everything they should be, and characters in sea–boots who say nothing but ‘Arr!’ and ‘Me hearty!’ in a plot that is wonderfully absurd. Originally published in 1983.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
40 of 42 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
The funniest pirate movie never filmed,
By
This review is from: The Pyrates (Plume Fiction) (Paperback)
Author George MacDonald Fraser, the accomplished British author of the FLASHMAN PAPERS and the Private McAuslan trilogy, has also toiled as a Hollywood scriptwriter. And he's been fascinated by pirate stories all his life. Thus, in THE PYRATES, the reader is treated to what could serve as the script for the funniest, most outrageous buccaneer saga ever not put on film. The hero of THE PYRATES is Captain Ben Avery, RN, the handsomest, most chivalrous, noblest, most incorruptible, bravest, most dutiful, and most unseducible man ever to wield an officer's sword on behalf of His Majesty. In Avery, as with every other of the novel's characters, Fraser has lovingly created a caricature. In any case, the time is "the old and golden days of England". King Charles occupies the throne. Ben is ordered to secretly convey a priceless crown to the King of Madagascar. On the same outbound ship are Admiral Lord Rooke and his gorgeous daughter Vanity. Of course, seafaring rascals capture the vessel, steal the crown, abandon Ben on a sandspit, and sell Vanity into white slavery. The tabloids (!) blame Avery for the debacle, and the remainder of the book has our superhero valiantly struggling to rescue honor, crown and Vanity from assorted scoundrels and near things. Of course, even the villains are occasionally endearing, especially if they're British, e.g. Colonel Blood, RA (Cashiered), a darker version of Avery without the ethics or meticulous dress code. And, needless to say, Captain Ben is besotted with Vanity, though his appreciation for her considerable charms is entirely platonic, anything more prurient unbecoming an officer and a gentleman. Since a small movie plays in my mind whenever I read fiction, the chief delight of this swashbuckling caper is the way Fraser attaches period-piece incongruities to the plot which result in hilarious "sight gags" and other absurdities. Contemplate the following: laundry chutes in a Spanish galleon, meal-seating announcements aboard a pirate ship, buccaneers getting drunk and rowdy on captured Perrier, eau de cologne by the barrel or the handy bucket size, a pirate chief's stock portfolio, the deplorable lack of Kleenex in a fetid orlop prison, shipboard ruffians being entertained by a puppet show, pirate disability insurance, the limited number of headsets for men set adrift in small boats, threats of a horrible death by bicycle pump (?), or the French buccaneers' battle cry of "Remember Dien Bien Phu!" Imagine what Mel Brooks could do with this material! THE PYRATES is about fifty pages too long. Those parts of the non-stop action that include the South American Indian tribe and the insanely evil Spanish Viceroy, Don Lardo, were unnecessary digressions better left on the cutting room floor. However, that minor flaw didn't prevent me from laughing out loud on several occasions, causing my wife to throw alarmed glances my way. Yes, I think even the Queen would be amused.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
"He's an honest man- I hate him!",
By CodeMaster Talon (Orlando, FL United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Pyrates (Paperback)
"The Pyrates" is the first book I read by the wonderful George Fraser, and it's a great place to start. A pretty unique achievement, the book blends every bit of pirate lore, atmosphere and outright clichés into a marvelously funny and entertaining read.
The plot is rather difficult to explain; it follows the dashing Captain Avery as he attempts to recover a priceless treasure, sometimes helped and sometimes hindered by the roguish Colonel Blood, falling in love with Lady Vanity (who describes herself as "gorgeous, proud, and insufferably spoiled"), fighting pirates, winning battles, getting stranded, imprisoned, rescued, rescuing and virtually every other thing that has ever happened in a pirate story (including, of course "The Black Spot"). It's all such huge fun, and Fraser's writing is so delightful, you can't go wrong. An absolute must for fans of swashbucklers (literary or cinematic). Be sure to stick around for the "Afterthought", where Fraser discusses the real life figures he placed in his story. The bit about the real Colonel Blood is by itself worth the price of the book. Recommended. GRADE: B+ (If you like this book, PLEASE check out Fraser's lesser known "The General Danced at Dawn". It's even better.)
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The funniest book you'll read in years,
By
This review is from: The Pyrates: A Swashbuckling Comic Novel by the Creator of Flashman (Paperback)
Imagine the fantasy and imagination of The Princess Bride; take the joie de vivre of Pirates Of The Caribbean; mix it a little with the eccentricity of Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (leaving out the tackier parts of the humour) and then take each of your favourite pirate stereotypes (bad guys, good guys, black spots, needlessly evil Spaniards, sword fights and derring-do) and turn it into one of the most joyous and hilarious books you'll ever read. Oh, and some of the characters really existed, too, just to add a slight historical edge.
The Pyrates is perhaps the funniest book you'll read all year, perhaps it's the funniest book you'll read in many years. For a long, long time I thought it was the funniest book I was ever going to read. One gets the clear impression while reading this book that GM Fraser, the author, has thrown caution to the wind. Normally his books are considered, paced and quite recognisably scholarly, for all their adventure and humour. With Pyrates, however, we get a writer having the most fun he's had in years, and sharing it with his readers. Reviews can be used for many purposes; the purpose of a review may be to critique a novel from a particular standpoint, or it may be to throw interesting light on it by placing it in a broad context. The possibilities are almost endless. In this case, I'm going to nail my colours to the crow's nest: I'm writing this review simply to tell you how much I loved this book, pass on some of the happiness it gave me, and thoroughly recommend that you get a copy of it as soon as you can. I hope it makes you laugh out loud as often, and as heartily, as I did!
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First Sentence:
It began in the old and golden days of England, in a time when all the hedgerows were green and the roads dusty, when hawthorn and wild roses bloomed, when big-bellied landlords brewed rich October ale at a penny a pint for rakish high-booted cavaliers with jingling spurs and long rapiers, when squires ate roast beef and belched and damned the Dutch over their claret while their faithful hounds slumbered on the rushes by the hearth, when summers were long and warm and drowsy, with honeysuckle and hollyhocks by cottage walls, when winter nights were clear and sharp with frost-rimmed moons shining on the silent snow, and Claud Duval and Swift Nick Nevison lurked in the bosky thickets, teeth gleaming beneath their masks as they heard the rumble of coaches bearing paunchy well-lined nabobs and bright-eyed ladies with powdered hair who would gladly tread a measure by the wayside with the gallant tobyman, and bestow a kiss to save their husbands' guineas; an England where good King Charles lounged amiably on his throne, and scandalised Mr Pepys (or was it Mr Evelyn?) by climbing walls to ogle Pretty Nell; where gallants roistered and diced away their fathers' fortunes; where beaming yokels in spotless smocks made hay in the sunshine and ate bread and cheese and quaffed foaming tankards fit to do G. K. Chesterton's heart good; where threadbare pedlars with sharp eyes and long noses shared their morning bacon with weary travellers in dew-pearled woods and discoursed endlessly of 'Hudibras' and the glories of nature; where burly earringed smugglers brought their stealthy sloops into midnight coves, and stowed their hard-run cargoes of Hollands and Brussels and fragrant Virginia in clammy caverns; where the poachers of Lincolnshire lifted hares and pheasants by the bushel and buffeted gamekeepers and jumped o'er everywhere . . . Read the first page Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
petite poire, petite pomme, calorie chart, pirate queen, tropic night, piggy eyes Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Don Lardo, Happy Dan, Captain Avery, Lady Vanity, Black Sheba, Donna Meliflua, Colonel Blood, Calico Jack, Octopus Rock, Frantic Frog, Anne Bonney, Great White God, Dead Man's Chest, Solomon Shafto, Twelve Apostles, Laughing Sandbag, Admiral Rooke, Black Bilbo, Don Toro, Lord Rooke, Mistress Anne, Mistress Bonney, Princess of the Sun, Captain Yardley, Santa Cascara New!
Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
It began in the old and golden days of England, in a time when all the hedgerows were green and the roads dusty, when hawthorn and wild roses bloomed, when big-bellied landlords brewed rich October ale at a penny a pint for rakish high-booted cavaliers with jingling spurs and long rapiers, when squires ate roast beef and belched and damned the Dutch over their claret while their faithful hounds slumbered on the rushes by the hearth, when summers were long and warm and drowsy, with honeysuckle and hollyhocks by cottage walls, when winter nights were clear and sharp with frost-rimmed moons shining on the silent snow, and Claud Duval and Swift Nick Nevison lurked in the bosky thickets, teeth gleaming beneath their masks as they heard the rumble of coaches bearing paunchy well-lined nabobs and bright-eyed ladies with powdered hair who would gladly tread a measure by the wayside with the gallant tobyman, and bestow a kiss to save their husbands' guineas; an England where good King Charles lounged amiably on his throne, and scandalised Mr Pepys (or was it Mr Evelyn?) by climbing walls to ogle Pretty Nell; where gallants roistered and diced away their fathers' fortunes; where beaming yokels in spotless smocks made hay in the sunshine and ate bread and cheese and quaffed foaming tankards fit to do G. K. Chesterton's heart good; where threadbare pedlars with sharp eyes and long noses shared their morning bacon with weary travellers in dew-pearled woods and discoursed endlessly of 'Hudibras' and the glories of nature; where burly earringed smugglers brought their stealthy sloops into midnight coves, and stowed their hard-run cargoes of Hollands and Brussels and fragrant Virginia in clammy caverns; where the poachers of Lincolnshire lifted hares and pheasants by the bushel and buffeted gamekeepers and jumped o'er everywhere . . . Read the first page Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
petite poire, petite pomme, calorie chart, pirate queen, tropic night, piggy eyes Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Don Lardo, Happy Dan, Captain Avery, Lady Vanity, Black Sheba, Donna Meliflua, Colonel Blood, Calico Jack, Octopus Rock, Frantic Frog, Anne Bonney, Great White God, Dead Man's Chest, Solomon Shafto, Twelve Apostles, Laughing Sandbag, Admiral Rooke, Black Bilbo, Don Toro, Lord Rooke, Mistress Anne, Mistress Bonney, Princess of the Sun, Captain Yardley, Santa Cascara New!
Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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