Customer Reviews: Python
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on May 31, 2005
If your into B-Movies as much as I am, then this film is for you. True, the acting, CGI effects, and plot is a bit lower then normal standards (but hey, is a B-movie ever above standards). Just by the title "PYTHON", you know your into a cornfest. Best advice when seeing this, don't have high expectations.

If you ignore the fact that this is a B-movie, and set your acting and CGI standards lower then from something like "STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH" (actually...MUCH lower), then you may get a kick out of this flick.
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on January 18, 2001
I saw this at my local video store and grabbed it without thinking twice. I got it for several reasons. One being that Wil Wheaton was in it and the other being i love my monster movies. This is exactly what one might expect. Atrocious acting by a somewhat talented and recognizable cast, TERRIBLE snake effects, but a satisfying amount of gore, and "leave you hanging" non-sex scenes. All in all, it was a load of fun and it was great for late-night viewing. I had a fun time with the over-the-top performances and seeing the results of the snake effects. There was very little nudity but be warned: Those expecting to see Jenny McCarthy in the buff will be sorely dissapointed. My only complaint was that one character i liked got killed and Keith Coogan, (Brad from adventures in Babysitting and Cheetah) who is billed in the opening credits, doesn't show up until the end for one speaking part and it is after the snake "problem" has been resolved. Great film for cheesy horror film buffs. I'm waiting for the seqaul myself.
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on January 9, 2001
Okay let me start by saying this movie does not take itself seriously. Whew! Too many times a film of this kind can't quite figure out what it wants to be. Not a problem here. It's all tounge and cheek . William Zabka(The bully from the Karate Kid and Just one of the Guys) Plays Deputy Greg, a Small town Deputy Sherrif Who just never left town to become that hotshot FBI agent. He's got bigger problems, seems a military flight carring a VERY LARGE and VERY HUNGARY Experimental Snake has gone down in the woods surrounding the small town of Ruby. The rest as they say is history. Robert England and Casper Van Dien also show up to hunt the Great and Hungary Beast The Dvd itself has some nice extras and a great 3D Menu. It looks and sounds great. If you liked Anaconda you'll like Python.
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on April 29, 2001
THIS is a spoof on Python. TOTALLY FUNNY. The producers and director must have had one heck of a blast makiung this film. Nothing was taken seriously. I laughed my head off and the ending was totally hilarious. Loved the lesbian love scene too. COuld have been a little more explicit, that would have made it a lot more interesting!!!
Dont be quick to judge like the others that ripped this film. It was a great snake flick.
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on October 23, 2001
Whoever knocks this movie sure should have known what was coming.
Anything involving a snake is sure to be cheesey. All the actors
have proven that they could act in the past.(Yes, even Casper Van Dien.) The conclusion, That's what the movie was called for.
Oh, and for that Wes remarke, Learn to seperate the character from the actor. It's been over ten years, get over it. In closing
I repeat once more, THE ACTOR'S CAN REALLY ACT. In all cheesey movies, even the acting gets horribble. Even from the greatest of actors. I take back that all the actors have proven themselves. Jenny, get good.
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As if "Anaconda" wasn't a bad enough giant snake movie, this faux-Anaconda proves that whenever you think it can't get any worse, you are probably mistaken. The film starts with a giant snake punching a hole in the side of a secret government plane and causing it to crash. The film then breaks our necks in a jump cut to the most annoying credits ever filmed featuring an amateur demonstrating skillful stunts on a bicycle. Sound exciting?

The hero of the film is the cyclist who has a falling out with his brother over EPA standards for the chemical processing plant full of huge vats of acid they have inherited. There are subplots about camping holidays, annoying realtors, a crazed herpetologist (Robert Englund, who intermittently produces a small snake from his pocket and cuddles with it), and the State Department (of course). To add to the malaise there are moronic government agents (led by Casper Van Dien, who sports the worst accent in recent history), and an overly enthusiastic cop who makes Barney Fife look genuinely menacing.

Along the way important lessons are learned: first, understand that squirting baby shampoo at a 130 foot long snake which shoots acid out of its mouth will not repel the snake, however, it may eat your shower curtain; and second, remember that when fleeing for your life on a bicycle from a huge snake capable of crawling at 50 miles per hour, it is important to stop to put on your bike helmet and sunglasses before starting to run from the rapidly encroaching menace. These are just two of the helpful pointers you will learn from "Python". The ending of the film is extremely predictable from the point where we learn that the protagonist co-owns an acid factory. I'll give you a clue, it involves the game of hide and seek, and the snake is "it".

The film is about as lame as lame can get: I can't imagine what the sequel must be like. I can't say that I recommend this film exactly, but I will say that if you want a good laugh at the expense of a hapless CGI snake, this might be a good choice.
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on December 9, 2011
This film is very much like ANACONDA. I bought this movie the first time with LAKE PLACID. I watched Lake placid first and was real impressed and I deciced to watch PYTHON. It has one of my favoratie actors in ROBERT ENGLAND(Freddy Krugger) he was a horror nut and I knew if A Nightmare on Elm Street was good then this had to be better. I loved it and would recommened to any one that likes snake films
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on August 22, 2005
Hey c'mon this movie starts off with a plane crash and then two lesbians having an oral scene in a tent, so how bad can it be??Like most people here, the snake in this movie has little to no characteristics of a real snake. This snake hears, can't see you if you stay still (obvious Jurassic Park idea ripped off), and can move at unbelievable speed. But then you have to wonder why a snake can chase down a speeding pickup truck, but can be outrun when you're riding a bicycle.

Pretty interesting cast as well, you got Robert Englun (AKA Freddy Krueger as a mad doctor), the dude Johny from Starship Troopers, the bad kid from The Karate Kid, and the doctor's son from Star Trek TNG. So there are a lot of familiar faces in this flick.

It's got some good action in it, and I espescially like the scenes that are just too ridiculous. They sort of remade the Psycho shower scene here. Of course true art is filming a young nude woman in the shower as you see a giant snake's head shadow falling onto the shower curtain.

Campy? Yes. Waste of time? No. There are a lot worse movies out there than this. This may not have a regular rotation in your DVD player, but every once in awhile it's not that bad.
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on March 9, 2002
Python: Where the only thing worse than the "acting" is the script, and the only thing worse than the script is the special "effects". The only original thing this movie produced was Casper Van Dien's unique accent, which has no foundation in any language. This blatant Anaconda ripoff is laugh out loud funny, but is meant to be suspenseful, if suspensful is synonamous with overwrought and cloyed. Firstly, we see a flight crew of TWO killed, mostly by own stupidity. Second victims are lesbians, having sex, wearing plaid, one of which has a pet, you guessed it, python! These victims are killed with acid which their clothes can withstand. Character development is imaginary, as equal time is spent on characters killed 4 minutes after introduction as with those who carry out the "plot". (Snake bad, must kill) The setting, Ruby, hick town extrodinaire, is apparantly suffering from inbreeding, as its residents flock to their deaths. Many important questions arise: How does a 123 ft long snake travel into town in broad daylight without being seen? Why is there no general warning emitted? Why is it that their are no simple townfolk on the streets, they are devoid of all but the main characters? How far can a severed head fly? Where does blood come from?(Man bit by snake, bleeds but no visible wounds?) Many inquiring minds will discover these and thousands of other questions left unanswered. Characters are textbook, contradictory, and altered dramatically at random with stupid and irrelevant details supplied. No one gives a damn how many guys the lesbian dated before her death, (everyone in the town). As the snake has the remarkable ability to change its size at will, and to disarm bombs (don't ask), it proves a difficult chase. Not helped by a power-mad deputy with no actual purpose other than blatant comic relief, which, as expected, fails horribly. Another source of this "comedy" is the dimwitted plant engineers, who appear to have been inhaling fumes for years....
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on January 28, 2002
I rented this because I was looking for something dumb and lightweight. Well I got those two, I just forgot that it should be dumb, lightweight, but also entertaining. I haven't looked at the credits too closely, but the movie is so wildly uneven it looks like about 10 different directors and editors slapped it together, none of them ever co-ordinating at all with the other, and that half of them were just maybe random people-no, children- they stopped on the street and handed a movie camera and asked them if they felt like taking over for a couple days, and the other half went out and spent all their paycheck on drugs. Actually I think both, the 10 different directors spent all their money on drugs, then handed the camera to some random kid on the street because they were too stoned to focus.
A bad CGI python terrorizes a small town. that's about it. Not that this would be a problem, if the movie were entertaining. Anaconda had a pretty simple plot, and I liked it- it was trashy but at least fun, plus it had J.Lo and Ice Cube kickin' a$$. Python (bold choice for a title, guys!) makes Anaconda look like Goodfellas. Casper Van Dien and Robert Englund play two scientists who both spend their screen time trying to upstage the other.
The CGI python doesn't seem very interested in eating people, either, just mangling them or spitting venom on them. I guess it wasn't very hungry (though it does eat a shower curtain at one point) or just cranky. The only positive thing I can think of to say is at least this movie didn't try to pretend to be anything other than it was, and had a couple slightly amusing parts-well, maybe one. The scene with Jenny McCarthy made me realize why she doesn't get much acting work. Sorry, curse me out all you want, but you know I'm right. Her and this actor who play a real estate salesman ham it up and overact so amazingly in their scenes that it was way past the point of being as amusing as they thought they were being.
The constant patting-themselves-on-the-back smugness of "hey, look how funny and noncomformist and wild we think we're being!'" that the film oozes gets old within minutes and ruins any sort of fun you might have.
They must have blown their whole budget on Englund and McCarthy, because as I said, the effects were terrible. The CGI itself was OK in parts, but then it would be really badly superimposed on what what obviously just the actors being filmed pretending to see a big snake. The lighting didn't even match. It looked like the snake was rearing up in front of a movie screen that needed cleaning.
Anyway, this was just terrible and stupid in a bad way. I actually felt sorry for most of the actors. Even Caspar Van Dien looks embarassed, for God's sake. If you want a guilty pleasure, you can do soooo much better. Try Wild Things, Nowhere, an episode of Melrose Place, or Lake Placid.
Bottom line: calling this movie a guilty pleasure gives other genuine guilty pleasures a bad name.
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