Customer Reviews

Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties

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1 star:		(27)

 

 

"Quarterlife Crisis" initially looked to be the watershed title in this nearly empty category through its prerelease press coverage--but has been widely misunderstood since reaching the shelves.

The book was written with the intent to describe a phenomenon rather than write a prescription; authors Robbins and Wilner are clear about that from the outset. Somebody just forgot to tell that to the marketing department over at Tarcher / Putnam (the publisher).

Under the dangerously false impression that "Quarterlife Crisis" is actually going to tell them what to do with their topsy-turvy lives, readers are greedily snatching up this title... And then dejectedly putting it down after realizing that it offers little more than anecdotal confirmation of the problems they are so desperate to solve. As a result, you've got a readership that's had way too much commiseration, and not nearly enough shutting up and getting to work on their problems.

That's why I recommend Michael Ball's "@ the Entry Level: On Survival, Success, & Your Calling as a Young Professional." This is a book that actually holds the reader's hand, and guides them to wherever their heart points. Plus it shows them how to beat the Fortune 500 along the way. THIS is the book twentysomethings thought they were getting with "Quarterlife Crisis."

I recieved this book in the mail yesterday and couldn't put it down. So many of the chapters accurately described what I've been going through since graduating from college two and a half years ago. I wish I had this book around then to tell me I wasn't crazy for feeling so confused, frustrated and let down (emotions I still feel). I disagree with those that say this book is filled with a bunch of overpriviledged whiners. I worked hard in college, graduated with a bunch of loans, and don't understand why the only thing I'm qualified for is a secretarial position I could have had out of college. It's nice to hear similar tales. It's not about making a bunch of money really fast. It's about finding your place in the world and having the courage to make mistakes that may or may not have an impact in ten years. Add in concerns like money woes, health problems, and a sudden lack of a support system, and life can seem overwhelming. Those are REAL challenges and that's what this books addresses.

My one very big gripe with this book is that it seems to focus only on those that went to college straight from high school and graduated in four years. Not everyone in their twenties fits that description. Furthermore, the book doesn't really offer any solutions (I don't necessarily think that's the authors fault though). This is NOT a "self-help" book. Instead, purchase it if you think you're the only one going through a period of self-doubt and general frustration because you no longer have a road map to tell you what's next.

When I bought this book, the 50+ year old clerk...had the nerve to look down at me and say "How on Earth could a person in their 20s feel they are in a crisis?"

I said, "are you serious? In this day and age, you have to have a degree to work in a library, undergrads don't mean much in this world. Some of us don't have the money to go back and get graduate degrees. PLus, all of our friends and family generally live in many different states and we dont' have enough money to call/visit all the time, and it is very difficult to find other mid twenties people to be friends with to form a support ring, and it is LONELY!"

She just looked at me in disbelief and said, "this is the prime of your life, don't worry, just enjoy it."

Enjoy it? Ya, I am going to enjoy living pay check to pay check while I work at some lame job that SORT OF has to do with my schooling, while I am paying off my school debt...my rent, my car, and wondering how I can achieve my dreams without money. And I'll really enjoy having no friends because they are all scattered across the country,and I have no time to meet people because I work 2 jobs, and my family doesn't "get" why I am so miserable.

I have always refered to this time in my life as my "mid twenties" crisis. Everyone I know that is my age is in the same thing unless they majored in Business or Computer related things and got a dream job right out of college. The rest of us are floating around aimlessly trying to find a niche. An undergrad degree is worthless most of the time, and so we end up in dead end jobs we aren't happy in. We question our dreams, we wonder if we are settling or giving up, or if we should still carry out our dreams, or just let them be "dreams". It is hard to decifer whether or not reality is "giving up" or reality is just plain reality. Then again, you hear about people like Mozart, and Brittney Spears, and Jessie Jackson and other people in this world that acheive their "impossible" dreams... you wonder if it is blind luck on their part, or they just did something we haven't figured out yet.

This book is great to identify with if you are in a similar position, and it is good to know there are SO many others in the same situation. They give a website too for a support group...which is useful.

The authors are not therapists, they don't do a lot of "here is what to do about it", but they do tell a lot of stories about others in our situation, and point the problem out to society so these OLDER people DON'T look like I am crazy when we talk about it!!!

What bothered me about this book was that none of the 20-somethings seemed to have any real responsibilities. Not all recent grads had their education and expenses paid for them. How many college grads can just quit the job they don't like and go live abroad? That's what it seems everyone in this book did. Didn't they have student loans or ANYTHING that they had to pay for? The truth is that most people have actual bills, in addition to rent and cannot just take off on a whim and move to Australia and Iceland to "find themselves". I was really hoping for a better book that actually related to real peoples' problems. It had so much potential. I just wish they interviewed people who weren't spoiled brats.

I thought I would really like this book, since I'm experiencing a bit of a quarterlife crisis myself. Although some of the book was interesting, it didn't do much more than quote loosely connected ramblings of twentysomethings.

Most of the people interviewed were single, well-educated (bachelor's degrees at the least, many from Ivy League or Seven Sisters schools) partiers whose parents can afford to support them financially (several even talked about taking time off after college to travel Europe). Although I fall into two of those four categories myself, I thought it would be nice to have some demographic variation. A large number of twentysomethings have only high school diplomas (or less), are married, don't like to drink, and cannot afford to travel Europe. I'd like to hear from some of them.

In addition to the limited number of viewpoints, the book disappointed me because it seemed to be just quotes from interviews with very little commentary. The book seemed to lack direction. Maybe that was the intention, since the point was to show that many twentysomethings need direction, but I would have liked less quotation and more in-depth discussion.

A fascinating look at the problems and challenges people in their twentysomethings feel. As the number of "educated elite" (to borrow a concept from Bobos in Paradise) continue to grow, they feel unprecedented pressures in their transition from academic settings to life. The quarterlife crisis, defined by the authors:
"occurs precisely because there is none of that predictable stability that drives middle-aged people to do unpredictable things. After about twenty years in a sheltered school setting many graduates undergo some sort of culture shock. . . But after graduation, the pathways blur. In that crazy, wild nexus that people like to call the "real world," there is no definitive way to get from point A to point B, regardless of whether the points are related to a career, financial situation, home, or social life. The extreme uncertainty that twentysomethings experience after graduation occurs because what was once a solid line that they could follow throughout their series of educational institutions has now disintegrated into million of different options. The sheer number of possibilities can certainly inspire hope - that is why people say that twentysomethings have their whole lives ahead of them. But the endless array of decisions can also make a recent graduate feel utterly lost."

Perhaps one of the most striking passages, and most illuminating, is from a young person expressing her frustration with this point of her life:
"I often say to my friends that I think there are two paths in our twenties that we are very concerned about. One is career and one is falling in love, and I think what it all has to do with is avoiding a feeling of loneliness. It's also a lot about feeling trapped. I worry sometimes that I'll never feel like I've arrived, that I'll always have inner turmoil."

The books is really a composition of interviews with various twentysomethings about everything from depression, to work, to love. It's an interesting look into how this age group deals with the struggles in each of these areas. The authors say upfront that this isn't designed to be a scientific study, but rather the start of a discussion about the problems twentysomethings feel.

This book would make an excellent graduation gift or would be useful to anyone working with people in this age group. I wouldn't be surprise if this book starts a new series of social research helping us all better understand - and manage - the quarterlife crisis.

Has some good points, but it is a rather annoying read.

The jacket claims that it's the "first book to name and document this phenomenon." Perhaps to name it, but student development theory can explain a good amount of the post-college identity development that is described here. "Statistics don't exist" because it appears from the forward that they're referring only to psychological research limited only to this age group, including only studies on mental disorders (?) like depression and anxiety. I think the arguments would be stronger and more credible if they had done a thorough literature search and cited other sources (but they get around that by claiming they're the first).

The forward says it's a book to help the general public understand 20 somethings, and for 20 somethings to realize they're not alone in making difficult adjustments after college... but they don't stay committed to knowing their audience, and that's what's annoying.

You're reading along, they're making their point, then they throw in snarky little asides in parentheses... sarcastic inserts that do nothing for the flow/credibility of the point they're making.

An example: "We weren't particularly interested in illustrating any life lessons, just as we knew that 20 somethings weren't particularly interested in reading them. Spewing cliches is boring. (Besides, that's what parents are for.) We just wanted to tell it like it is." (p 70).

Any parent reading this to truly understand their adult son or daughter is going to stop reading right there. I nearly did. There are enough other instances of these little "hooks" that just plain get in the way. My guess is they go for "clever" to entice their younger audience to keep reading, since the asides are aimed at 20 somethings, like inside jokes that potentially backfire in holding other readers. It's almost an insult to 20 somethings, like, you feel you have to resort to this to hold my attention?

Also, the term "twentysomethings" becomes tiresome... a "spewed cliche" if you will...

Strengths are the interviews... being a 20 something myself, I think the experiences as described are honest and accurate. (Some do come across rather whiney.)

Valuable as an OVERVIEW of life issues that prove to be a challenge for many young adults (no discussion on whether the transition is similarly challenging for those who did not attend college, or those who transition out of college later in life as a 'non-traditional' student).

Topics include: vocation, choosing a career path, gaps between expectations that college leads directly to the $70k dream job, and reality of what's available for a recent grad... I've heard this referred to as "post-parchment depression."

Balancing relationships, making friends, redefining relationships
with parents, etc. Better defining their own values apart from
external pressures. To marry or not to marry, etc.

Fear of the unknown, fear to take risks, "what if I fail?" How to make decisions when you feel like you have no idea what direction you even want to go.

An interesting chapter called "What if I'm scared to stop being a
kid?" - how many young adults see themselves through the eyes of
"adults"

IN ADDITION and/or INSTEAD, I recommend:

"Big Questions Worthy Dreams: Mentoring young adults in their
search for meaning, purpose, and faith" by Sharon Daloz Parks (2000)

"Making Their Own Way: Narratives for transforming higher
education to promote self-development" by Marcia Baxter Magolda (2001)

If you had no idea that the so-called quarterlife crisis existed and simply wanted to know that others are in your shoes, this book could be good for you.

If you knew about it, but wanted to read about others' experiences, you may enjoy this book.

If you wanted actual constructive advice about what to do and how to handle things that come up during this time of your life, this book will not be useful. It's like the author simply interviewed 20-somethings and wanted to use every quote she got in her book, but never really thought it out beyond arranging the quotes into sensical chapters. There's not really any useful advice for anyone going through their quarterlife crisis, which may be a tall order considering most people would probably experience it differently, but I really was disappointed by the book.

This has got to be the worst book I've read in a long time. As someone in their 20s, I decided to read the book as, as the authors do point out, not many books and movies cater directly to young adults who are past college but not yet parents.

That being said, this book is a complete disappointment. The book is nothing more than ramblings of college graduates who complain that secretary work is "demeaning" and that they're upset that people "stupider" than them have better jobs. This book caters only to middle-class/upper-middle class readers. The book is ultimately all that is wrong with America.

No mention is made of poorer young adults, and even well-off young adults who choose not to go to college. The book ultimately is gossipy and filled with shallow complaints. Also, very little is offered to help a young person deal with problems.

The only way I'd use this book again is if the heat is turned off in my apartment. Then I'd burn it for heat and fuel.

I got this book from the library as I'm facing the same kind of issues: bored in my job, not sure where I want to go with my education, single and not really liking it, not sure what I want out of my career yet. I never expect to find "the answer" to my life problems in a book (and no one in their right mind should), but thought I might find something on which I could ruminate.

My summation of 184 pages: you're not alone; lots of people have these problems; you have to work (hard) to get ahead in any part of your life; there's no one who is going to take care of you and if you think there is, you're either rich or spoiled. Or clueless.

This book, as another reader so perfectly put it, was written by two women still wet behind the ears. I mean, really. OF COURSE life is hard. What made you think it wouldn't be? You can't have everything handed to you on a silver platter, you have to work for it, and sometimes you aren't going to get what you want no matter how much you may deserve it. Quit thinking that your future holds your happiness and fulfillment: your happiness--and your life--is where you are right now. Your attitude matters a great deal towards your perception of your situation. Don't just sit there, do something. Life is found in the active, not the passive. You can be confused as hell about your life situation and not know where you're headed, but you can still be happy.

Do you really want to end up like the woman in "The Ballad of Lucy Jordan"--who jumped off a roof because she didn't have the fantasy life she dreamed of?

My suggestion: get this from the library so you don't have to spend money on it. Then rent "The Wizard of Oz" and make some popcorn.

"'I shall take the heart,' returned the Tin Woodman; 'for brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world.'"