When Rosalind Wiseman first published QUEEN BEES & WANNABEES, she fundamentally changed the way adults look at girls' friendships and conflicts - from how they choose their best friends, how they express their anger, their boundaries with boys, and their relationships with parents. Wiseman showed how girls of every background are profoundly influence by their interactions with one another. Now, Wiseman has revised and updated her groundbreaking book for a new generation of girls living in the age of Facebook, IM and text message. Packed with insights about technology's impact on Girl World and enlivened with the experiences of girls, boys, and parents, the book that inspired the hit movie Mean Girls offers concrete strategies to help you empower your daughter to be socially competent and treat herself with dignity.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
Review
'Forget the stereotypes of sugar and spice. Girls are mean, and as this book and a recent New York Times Magazine cover story indicate, their subtle, insidious style of bullying is rapidly garnering attention and concern ... [Wiseman] also offers admirable, groundbreaking insight into an all-too-common issue and will be invaluable to any adult struggling to help a girl get through her teens' Gillian Enberg, BOOKLIST 'Wise, humorous, life-affirming advice for parents that is utterly respectful of girls. I recommend parents mark it up, turn the corners of pages, and heed Wiseman's creative and practical strategies for guiding girls along the sometimes treacherous pathways of growing up today. Queen Bees & Wannabes is Mapquest for parents of girls, from fifth grade all the way to young adulthood' Patricia Hearst, author of A TRIBE APART: A Journey Into the Heart of American Adolescence 'Rosalind Wiseman invites us into 'Girl World' with insight, honesty, and humor. Based on the most thorough, helpful research I know of, this book should be required reading for parents, teachers, and health professionals' Edes P. Gilbert, Acting President of Independent Educational Services
About the Author
Rosalind Wiseman is an interantionally recognized author and educator on children, teens, parenting, bullying, social justice, and ethical leadership.
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47 of 47 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
An Indispensible Guide on a Subject that Receives little Attention,
This review is from: Queen Bees and Wannabes (Paperback)
This book is about the friendships and social circles of girls aged roughly 10-15, with most of the focus on the "cliques" they so famously form, describing the roles girls commonly play in the them (Queen Bee, etc). The author has extensive experience dealing with girls this age at her job and runs workshops for schools. It's a very hands on, practical account.
She argues that while girl's cliques may seem trivial or unimportant to adults, girls are actually learning how to interact with others socially at this age, and for better or for worse, how they behave and respect themselves as adults will often mirror how they fit in with their peers at this sensitive age. This can be a touchy subject for some. I'm a teacher, and I love kids, and I like all of the ones I deal with, whether they fit as "Queen Bees", "Wannabes" "Floaters" or any other little label. But still, I think as adults we tend to idealize kids, see the cute and innocent qualities, and tend to turn a bit of a blind eye to the politics between friends, and sometimes even to the attitudes of our students toward class outcasts. As adults, the way they behave can seem quaint, but for the kids themselves, grades 6-8 can be a hard time socially, and it doesn't make it any easier if teachers just turn a blind eye to it and shrug it off thinking "they'll grow out of it". On the flipside, I think adults that had a hard time during these grades themselves tend to want to brush it aside as "that was then, now I'm all grown-up, and I realize how silly all that was, and one day my daughter/students will too". As nice as that feels to say as an adult, it might not be very helpful to a 12-year-old who'll have to deal with school as her reality for 6 more years. Finally, a complaint I've heard about this book is that while it presents a depressing reality at times, it doesn't give much advice on what parents and educators can do (Unless you want to get preachy and have private "talks" with them where you talk about their feelings. Most kids reaction: "EEEWWW!!") I can't speak as a parent of a girl this age yet, but speaking as a teacher, what I've come to realize since I read this is that while you can't always cram everything you know and think down your students throats, sometimes just knowing what's going on and having an objective view of it can help you build a healthy classroom where everyone is appreciated and respected- the popular kids as well as the loners. For example, the author describes how when the popular girl in a fifth grade class gets paired up with a fat unpopular girl and has to hold her hand during a game in gym class, she feins digust and how all the other kids laugh. A lot of teachers blow this off as kids being kids and ignore it, but if your read this book you'll have a clearer idea of whats going on, and the pecking order that makes it allowable. I can't claim my classes are little social utopias now, with every kid and group in perfect harmony, but I CAN say that in the time since I've read this book, those types of situations happen much less if at all. The popular kids are still popular, but while I don't come right out with it and try to preach, subtly through the first few months there are different expectations on them about what makes a good person and what kind of attitudes will make them accepted and respected. The kids get along better, aren't embarrassed about being in other groups for work (Even if they'd prefer being with their friends), and most importantly, the shyer and more awkward kids are more comfortable to speak and participate, and begin to get along with the others and become more accepted. In short, the world of girls at this age is complicated and not an easy thing to deal with for anyone. But learning about it and having a clear view of it WILL help.
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Proceed full speed ahead,
By
This review is from: Queen Bees and Wannabes (Paperback)
Every mother and/or father of a preteen/teenage girl or boy should read this book. Not only to identify your child but to get a better understanding of who his/her friends/peers are and how their actions affect your child. There are several useful tools provided to help you communicate better with your child and tips on what language you should not use when talking to your son or daughter. There are also chapters in this book that should be shared with your child. A great book!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
must read for parents who have girls,
By musmov "musmov" (Old Bridge, New Jersey United States) - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Queen Bees and Wannabes (Paperback)
My daughter and I read this together. It help both of us understand what she was going through. It really gave her insight into what she was going on with her friends. THIS IS A MUST READ....
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