"Thank you, thank you." Janet Howell gave a deep bow. "I'm so glad to be here this afternoon!"
Jessica Wakefield cleared her throat as she looked at Janet. "I don't know, Janet. I mean, everyone says that."
She was sitting in Janet's living room at a meeting of the Unicorn Club, a group of the prettiest and most popular girls at Sweet Valley Middle School. At least, that was the way Jessica liked to think of her club. Janet had asked everyone to come over and help with a speech she was writing for school.
"Anyway, you're talking in front of a stupid school assembly. Are you going to be
that glad to be there?" Lila Fowler added, flipping her long brown hair over her shoulder. "Because I know I'm not," she muttered under her breath to Jessica. Lila was Janet's cousin and one of Jessica's best friends.
"It's not a
stupid assembly. After all, I'll be speaking." Janet crumpled the piece of paper in her hand and threw it onto the coffee table. "And how
else am I supposed to start my speech?"
"Friends, Romans, countrymen . . . ," Mandy Miller intoned in a deep voice.
Janet turned to Mandy, glowering. "Ha. Ha. Ha," she said in a cold monotone. "Very funny. How terribly amusing, Mandy."
Mandy smiled uneasily, playing with a silver stacking ring on her finger. "OK, so maybe it's been done."
"Maybe you should stick to designing funky outfits and forget about speeches," Janet told her. "Come on, you guys. I have to make this really original. And you've got to help me," Janet declared.
If we help you, then the speech won't be original, Jessica thought.
It'll be our ideas instead of yours.But she decided not to point that out. Janet didn't tend to take criticism well. And that was putting it mildly. When it came to criticism, Janet preferred to give than to receive.
"I've only got a week to write the perfect speech," Janet said.
"A week? You write most of your papers in a day. A week is more than enough time," Ellen Riteman said with a wave of her hand.
"Not when I'm planning a blowout party here for the weekend before the assembly, it isn't," Janet said. "I have so much to do. My parents actually used the three magic words."
The Unicorns looked at each other blankly.
"RSVP not necessary?" Mary Wallace guessed.
"Please thank you?" Tamara Chase asked.
"Janet Howell rules?" Lila suggested.
Janet rolled her eyes. "No. The three magic words are
spare no expense," she said with a grin. "They said I could spend whatever I want on the party since graduating from middle school is such an important occasion and all."
"That's awesome!" Jessica exclaimed. Janet always had fun parties--but the more deluxe, the better.
"It
is awesome. But I don't know how I'm going to pull off the party and the speech--the party's on Saturday night and the speech is on Monday afternoon," Janet said.
"You could put off the party," Ellen suggested.
"I can't change it now," Janet protested. "Don't be silly. Everyone would be so disappointed."
Jessica looked at Mandy and shrugged. The party sounded fun, but people would cope if they had to wait an extra week for it. Apparently Janet didn't think so.
"What I need to do is finish my speech right away.
Then I can really focus on the party." Janet tapped her pencil against the coffee table. "Come on, help me think of some good lines. This is important. They asked me to do the speech because I'm the most popular student in the eighth grade. It has to be
amazing."
Jessica tried to think of other students' speeches she'd listened to over the years. She couldn't remember any of them--except the one Donald Zwerdling gave. He tripped walking up to the podium and fell flat on his face. "I don't think it matters too much," she mused. "I can't remember a single speech I've heard at school."
"Neither can I," Ellen added. "They're all so boring."
"That's
exactly my point!" Janet cried. "Mine
can't be boring. I want it to be the one that people remember. They'll take notes. They'll write about it in their yearbook. They'll carry my words in their hearts." She turned to Jessica. "Do you think you could get Elizabeth to reprint my speech in the
Sixers? You know, so people could have it as a memento?"
Jessica raised an eyebrow. If Janet thought her sister was going to stop the presses for her, Janet was deluded. Her twin, Elizabeth, didn't even like Janet. And unless her speech was Nobel Prize-winning material, there was no way Elizabeth would want Janet's words messing up her newspaper.
Elizabeth and Jessica were identical twins--they both had long blond hair and blue-green eyes. And they were really close friends. But they were different in a lot of ways. Elizabeth wasn't a member of the Unicorn Club and didn't want to be--she said all they cared about was boys and shopping. Jessica, on the other hand, didn't like studying as hard as Elizabeth and her friends sometimes did. She'd much rather live it up at parties.
And she knew that Elizabeth had always thought Janet was bossy and demanding. Then again, Jessica agreed with that description a lot of the time. But Janet was president of the Unicorn Club and an eighth-grader. Jessica knew that being popular meant accepting Janet as she was.
"Well? Will you ask Elizabeth to put my speech in the newspaper?" Janet pressed.
"I'll--I'll definitely suggest it," she promised Janet. Thinking fast, she added, "But maybe you should think about having your speech printed up separately. You know, on flyers. People could take a copy with them when the assembly lets out."
"That's brilliant!" Janet cried. She turned to the other Unicorns. "Why don't some of
you come up with great ideas like that?" Janet turned her full attention back to Jessica. "Forget about everyone else. Jessica, that's such a good idea that I want you to be my personal assistant for the next week. You're hired!"
"I am?" Jessica asked.
Funny. I don't remember filling out that job application, she thought.
"Yes. You can help me finish this speech. And at the same time you can work on all the party plans with me I've still got a ton of things to do," Janet said. "While you're at it, if you wouldn't mind helping me decide what to wear when I give my speech and figuring out how we'd print those flyers and--"
"Are you sure you don't need
two people for the job?" Jessica interrupted. "Or three? Maybe we could all pitch in--"
Janet swatted her playfully on the arm. "Don't be silly. I'm sure you can handle everything."
Jessica didn't know what to say.
Maybe I can, she thought.
But do I want to?"So. First off, write down that idea about printing my speech for everyone," Janet said. "You don't want to forget that. Call the copy store and see how much it would cost. Maybe we can print it on colored paper."
"Mm-hm," Jessica muttered, pulling a small pink notebook out of her backpack.
"Then check with Mr. Clark and make sure it's OK to hand out something during the assembly," Janet continued. "Maybe we could leave a copy of my speech on every chair in the auditorium. What do you think of that?"
I think that people are going to sit on your speech instead of reading it, Jessica thought sourly.
This job is already no fun--and it's only going to get worse!But she was getting ahead of herself. Maybe working for Janet wouldn't turn out to be that bad. After all, Jessica had already planned on going to the party--so why not make sure it was as fun as possible? "Sounds good," she said.
"OK. Now let's get back to the first problem--writing the thing," Janet said. "How do
you think I should start my speech?"
"Well, uh . . ." Jessica hesitated.
Maybe you should start by paying Elizabeth to write it, she thought. Her twin was a very good writer. But Elizabeth and Janet didn't exactly see eye to eye on things. For example, Elizabeth would probably want to talk about projects everyone could do over the summer to help humanity: like cleaning up the beach, recycling, volunteering.... Janet, on the other hand, would probably want to talk about how to get the perfect tan, what hot new summer movies to see, and where all the cool kids would be hanging out on steamy afterno...
