Customer Reviews

Queen of the Turtle Derby and Other Southern Phenomena

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It used to be thought that media, especially television, would produce a homogenized America, with accents becoming neutral and local color all blending into one American norm. It's true that a McDonald's here is pretty much the same as one there, and suburban sprawl seems the same everywhere. The South, however, is a truly peculiar place that will not be culturally assimilated, and if you don't believe it, check out _Queen of the Turtle Derby: And Other Southern Phenomena_ (Random House), a collection of comic essays by Julia Reed. Reed, a senior writer at _Vogue_ and a contributing editor at _Newsweek_, grew up in the Mississippi Delta, in Greenville, and now shuttles between New York and New Orleans. Naturally, as comic essayist, she does not concentrate on the problems of the South, but her funny reporting on the startling eccentricities and insistent traditions of her homeland is a joy to read.

The darkest part of the South she covers, even if she does so with a grin, is the violence. A third of the nation's population lives in the South, and they commit 42% of all homicides. Serious crime has risen in the South, where it has gone down nationally. A simple explanation: "We shoot more people because we have the most guns." Elvis Presley took guns when he visited the White House. "I'm sure he didn't even think about it. He's going out, he's got his guns." When her father visited her in her apartment in New Orleans, he failed to mention the high ceilings or the fancy plasterwork or mantels. His one housewarming comment: "You need to get a gun." The title of the book comes from a turtle race, an annual event known as the Lepanto Terrapin Derby. Turtles race on a sixty foot course for an exciting fifteen minutes. There is a festival surrounding the event, and the climactic crowning of the Turtle Derby Queen. The South has such royalty all over, not just the traditional beauty pageant queens, but the Catfish Queen, Poultry Princess, Miss Pink Tomato or monarch over some other local point of pride. Southerners drink, and there is a chapter here on the bizarre history of Mississippi prohibition which included bootleggers of illegal whiskey paying legal taxes to ply their trade. Southerners eat. Personifying Southern hospitality, Reed gives here the recipes for George Jones Sausage Balls, which she got from the country singer himself, for that strange Southern misnomer the frozen tomato, and for fried chicken, although it won't be as good fried chicken as that from her own cook, Lottie Martin.

There is, appropriately, a good deal about religion, too, including the story about the Arkansas governor who refused to sign a tornado relief bill because it referred to the tornado as an "act of God," and his God would never have done anything like that. Perhaps, as Reed points out, he needed refreshing on the earlier books of the Bible. Reed herself says that in New Orleans, there are mosquitoes, caterpillars with spines that are toxic even when the caterpillar is dead, feral hogs digging up the levees that protect the city, and indestructible Formosan termites that have bigger colonies and bigger appetites than the normal ones and can eat through mortar. She used to say that living there is like living in the Old Testament. She has realized, though, that "the plagues of Egypt lasted only seven days. Ours never end." And may the South as she so amusingly describes it here, silly, tradition-bound, patrician, vicious, and gracious, never end as well.

Wow, where do I start? I read this book in one sitting and laughed and cried while I was at it. Being from Arkansas myself, I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, "What would people think?" It was a mantra in my household, particularly when I was trying to do something as outrageous as leaving the house without lipstick. I turned about every other page over to show my husband later, so he would understand me better!

I felt Ms. Reed presented both sides of the South well... the backward (and oft times embarrassing) ways, and the strong traditions and attitudes that make a real (positive) difference in a person's life. I bought it for my mom and her three sisters, as I knew they would laugh as hard as I did at how she nailed so many aspects of Southerners. I've also given this book to several young women, as I think it portrays the strength of Southern women. Ms. Reed finally gave me a way of explaining to blue-state Northerners (where I live now) why I'm so proud of being Southern.

Vogue Senior writer Julia Reed mesmorizes with her perspective on life in the deep south. Not only is this book interesting, it is the real thing. Julia grew up in the heart of the Mississippi Delta, which might be seen as the south on steroids. This book is six hours of literary happiness in a lovely package.

I have been looking for a book like this for some time. If the "GRITS" series took it all a little too seriously for you, then pick up "Queen of the Turtle Derby" (this is a true 'you cant put it down' title). I was delighted to find a fellow southerner/ part-time new orleanian in love with the gulf coast, in love with the south, the food, the people, but with a sense of humor about it (doesnt being a southerner revolve around a sense of humor in the first place?). This is the book for the girl who choose NOT to be a debutante but who still holds a very special place in her heart for those who were. Its the book for those who grew up steeped in this culture, and possibly even rejected it at some point, but who realized later in life how much it is a part of who you are and now accept it with open arms, ready to laugh at any minute. Its incredibly smart, funny, and filled with unforgettable stories about friends, family, guns, booze, debs, food and pagents. Reed is an incredible writer and after enjoying her articles for years, I can only hope that there is a second book on the way. And she is welcome to parade in mobile anytime as the catfish queen!

For those of us who are fascinated by the women of the South and the unique lives they lead, Julia Reed's Queen of the Turtle Derby is the ideal book. A senior writer at Vogue and a contributing editor at Newsweek, Reed grew up in Greenville, Mississippi, and still spends half her year in New Orleans. She knows the South, its women and its men, as well as I know the back of my hand. And she isn't shy about telling it like it is.

I laughed on almost every page. At times, I thought I was reading about a foreign country. The manners and mores of the characters are so different than my own. Yet at times, I could imagine myself living there because I love the friendship of women. The women Reed writes about are utterly loyal and devoted to one another, no matter how diverse their personalities or how much they gossip about one another.

Many years ago, I was a guest in the home of a friend from Jackson, Mississippi, for only a week. I was reminded of my time there when I read the notion of the author's columnist friend who says that to successfully adjust to living in the South, just "Don't think you know what is going on." That was a feeling I had frequently during my week with my friend. I was there. I was showered with gracious attention; yet I couldn't help but feel very much the outsider.

Reed reminds us that the rules and regulations in the daily life of every young Southern woman are entrenched traditions which must be followed to the letter of the law. However one might feel about them. For example, "Memphis girls don't wear a lot of black and they wouldn't be caught dead in public without their makeup." At the same time, she tells us that Southern belles are tough as nails and hold every bit of power over their spouses...that all their "softness" (of which they are so proud and go to such lengths to maintain) is little more than a veneer...a veneer to let the fellows feel they are the ones in charge. Talk to any Southern belle, Reed says, and she will tell you it works.

Another fact I read with interest is that the FBI has released statistics which show Southerners to be the most violent people in the country. Apparently, they own the most guns and will shoot one another at the drop of a hat. One example we are given is the stabbing of a husband by his wife on Thanksgiving Day. "They had been fighting over the last piece of turkey, some dark meat, and the victim had made the mistake of taking it."

The author provides many other examples of their trigger happiness, which, henceforth, might make me think twice before disagreeing with anyone from the South. "The South leads the nation in murders of lovers, spouses, and other relatives (though we don't kill our children any more than most people do)," her source assures us. "But really, we'll shoot just about anything." At the same time, Southern women are the most church-going people in the country.

Another fun subject is Southern food. A homecooked dinner might consist of fried catfish, okra, turnip greens, lima beans, green onions, potatoes, cornbread, sliced tomatoes, corn on the cob and tea. Not just some of these, but all. Reed also explains which foods "must" be served at funeral receptions--hams, roasts and, of course, tenderloins, not to mention dozens of casseroles topped with crushed Ritz crackers, crushed potato chips or canned Durkee's fried onions." She is appalled when families resort to Chinese takeout or deli sandwich platters on plastic trays. I doubt that my daughter, who insists that her children eat only organic and wouldn't dare touch anything resembling a potato chip or anything out of a can, would last even a day in that part of the country.

Then there is the matter of drinking. Reed once asked a friend why he thought Southerners drink so much. "Because we lost the War," he said. But the author insists that Southerners drink less than the national average, and she points out that their rate of suicides and mental illness are lower. Though she readily admits that the definition of mental illness in the South is given a great deal more lattitude than in the North.

These are only a few examples of this author's heartfelt appreciation of what makes her countrymen/women different from the rest of us. Indeed, they have their own special genre of unconventional behavior--a love of food and partying, a zest and passion for life that is as endearing as it is often "over the top." I suspect that if I lived in the South, I would be watching from the sidelines with great pleasure.

by Duffie Bart
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

I have read many of Julia Reed's magazine articles over the years but none as witty, charming and funny as her depiction of life in the South. It's the real deal, too. Hard too believe all that she writes is the truth, but it is. Take this book along to the beach (prefrerably the "Redneck Riveria") or on your summer vacation for a for a real treat!

I loved this book! I picked it up on a whim. I only gave it four stars because it ended to soon! The whole book felt more like having a conversation with someone than just reading a book. Not only did it give great insight to living in the south, but also tips on cooking, parties, and recipes. Don't miss this book!!!

I first experienced Julia Reed in the pages of the southern literary magazine, "The Oxford American" and I was hooked. She has a wonderful way with words and if you are in any way interested in the culture of the American South then this is certainly one view of it. Funny stuff and well worth your time!

I LOVED this book. It was so much fun to read, and it was educational in places. Unfortunately, it was also VERY MISLEADING to anyone who does not have personal knowledge of the South. (I speak from the vantage point of being a native of Memphis, Tennessee for fifty-five years.)

The author repeatedly makes blanket statements about the South as though we were all just alike. Over and over she begins with "Southerners...." and then she goes on to imply we all carry or at least own a gun, set our tables with a gun, have very little regard for the ideals of truth and justice, and have no intellectual curiosity. Granted, there are many Southerners who do indeed fit this profile, but neither I, nor many of my friends, deserve this description. In addition, unlike the author, we consider cock fighting to be cruel and inhumane.

I shudder to think what someone from another region of the country will think when reading this book. I only hope they are wise enough to realize this is just one aspect of the South, not a balanced picture of all its people. Julia Reed has given the impression that we are ALL a bunch of ignorant rednecks. I fully understand that in order to write an entertaining book such as this one, one must focus on the nuts and the crooks, but the continued practice of stating that "Southerners......" and going on to write about only the least enlightened Southerners, is hardly what one would expect from someone who claims to love the South.

Read this book and enjoy it, but please remember it's just one aspect of a complicated region.

While Mrs. Reed embraces her homeland and all its quirks, from queens of various things to deep fried, farm raised catfish, a certain ambivalence toward her southern heritage and the people who represent it lurks between the lines. I suppose, like the south itself, Mrs. Reed is bound up in contradictions.

Still, this book is entirely enjoyable because it is more than a memoir; it's an historical account. Queen of the Turtle Derby isn't just a narration of southerners' behavior, but also an explanation, no, a justification, of why we do the things we do.

I loved it.

Lucy Adams, author of If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny