Customer Reviews

The Quest for Maleness

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

The Quest for Maleness
by Theun Mares
228pgs.
Lionheart Press, 1999.
Reviewed by Anthony Gagliano

As a boy I was thrilled by the adventures of the great explorers of the past. Their journeys into the unknown seemed to me the essence of what manhood was all about. The modern world, by comparison, seemed a place bereft of new frontiers. I did what I could to reconcile myself to a mundane existence where all earthly geography had been conquered, a world of nine to five jobs where everyone seemed wired to a paycheck and the dream of a pension. I indulged in the fantasy of believing I had been born to late, and, as a young man,I gave myself over to the unfulfilling life of the disenchanted and self-destructive renegade. I was not unique in this, and today, as much as ever before, the question of what being a man is all about for many remains an unanswered question. Read the newspapers. Has there ever been a time in the history of the planet when the answer to this question was more important?
I can't say that The Quest for Maleness changed my life overnight, but what it did do was give me back my sense of adventure and offered me a frontier as limitless in scope as any ocean any Viking ever faced in times gone by. That frontier is the birthright of every man who is willing to accept the challenge of exploring his own masculine potential, and in doing so -- if he has the courage and the patience -- of sailing beyond the preset boundaries of his social conditioning into the uncharted depths of what it means to be a true male.
Like all Mr. Mares' works, The Quest for Maleness is grounded in the Toltec Tradition, that long lost legacy first revealed to contemporary readers through the teachings of Don Juan through the agency of his most famous pupil, the late Dr. Carlos Castaneda. In light of this fact, Mr. Mares, a Nagal and Toltec of The Third Attention, is careful to point out that none of what he writes is a matter of personal opinion or philosophy but the result of universal laws discovered by Toltec seers of ancient times. I know that this requires a leap of faith, but believe me, by the time you have come to the end of The Quest for Maleness your every idea of what constitutes manhood will have been challenged to the core. The world is not what we have come to believe it is, and your masculine potential is a realm yet to be thoroughly explored.

From the first pages of this book I was filled with a strong desire, the forgotten desire to find my maleness, to become true male. And even if I didn't know these words that time, I was aware that what I felt was something that I gave up long time ago because of not finding any place of it in my life. So, I knew that I am already on my quest for maleness, but then I was caught up in the expectation that it will be a fast journey to some place. I was reading too fast never made the required exercises and at the end was baffled why the book doesn't quite work for me.

But with the time I started to look around and investigate the men and women around me and my relationships with them. I was quick to find why it looks so impossible to live like a true male. For example, how many man hold dear the emotional crap they derived from their mothers, saying 'This is my emotionality!'?

To live the teachings imparted in this book is not so sophisticated, provided that one holds to his own feelings and desires and not to the prejudices of the society and finds the required perseverance to cultivate his self-discipline. Though the rewards are vast not only for the man concerned, but for all around him.

If you believe that just reading one book no matter how brilliant it is will make you true male then just enjoy the style of this book or find some other that will prove to you that you are already true male. But if you are in search of practical ways to get closer to what you always felt was missing in your life, then with time you will become more and more mystified by your great fortune to find this book exactly when you needed it.

I recently finished reviewing this book after having read it a few months ago. Whilst I may indulge in my doubts about some of the author's "opinions", I have no doubts about the results I experienced in applying this book's practical wisdom.

My relationships with females in general, my partner and my mother in particular were instantly improved though not without effort on my part in applying the practical aspects of the book, including listening with every fibre of my being.

It takes effort to truly listen and see beyond the face value of this book's facade to the practical wisdom. Nevertheless, I continue to experience the rewards of my effort with warmer, more intimate relationships and increasing success in most areas of my life.

I can understand the critics' indulgence, yet it is quite obvious to me that they simply judged this book by its cover.

A quest that slowly ful-fills one with responsibility and honour, humility and understanding of one's potential. A quest that if every man were to embark upon a new level of awareness would fill this world with such laughter, peace, and strength. A quest that is more difficult than any could imagine, yet also one that we chose from before the time of birth. A simple quest. A quest that has both the highs and the lows, the in-betweens and the beyonds. A quest that is beyond what these words may reveal. A quest that continues past, present and future incarnations.

May you find your SELF in pursuit of the quest for maleness.

Before I read this book I had spent the past five years running from responsibility and commitment. I thought that this escapist approach constituted freedom. But, my unhappiness and lack of fulfillment left me knowing that I was missing something crucial. This book threw light upon my greatest fear of commiting myself to the females in my life. It also, showed me that most men have this same fear, and that I wasn't alone in my uncertainties and confusion.

What makes this book fantastic, is that it practically illustrates how we can transmute confusion into self-confidence. It also teaches us how to constructively and respectfully relate to females, to create joyfull and meaningful relationships.

This book is still changing my life. From being unfocussed and indulging in helplessness, to now; feeling empowered by standing up for my belief in my own self. It is the most helpfull and practical self-help book I have ever come accross.

From an early age I had struggled with an overly self critical and destructive view of what it was to be a man. I had bounced from one confusing experience to another, trying to fathom out from the disillusionment some sort of meaning to what was happening in my life. So, when I read the Quest for Maleness I could not help but feel that this book had been written especially for me! Through sharing in his own experiences and insight, Théun has guided me to my OWN realisations that actually make sense out of all those conflicting thoughts and feelings that were a constant disease in my life. Ultimately, It was the key to that precious space where I could make those much needed, life changing decisions with clarity, with strength and with the power of a true male.

Five stars and a glowing review feels so little as an expression of thanks and support, to someone that has given so much, to so many of us who were constantly at odds with our own maleness. Thank you, Théun!

There are many books out there about the differences between men and women, but none of them are as lucid or as foundational as this one, and its companion volume, Unveil the Mysteries of the Female. In reading this book I got PRACTICAL guidance on how to be a true male, and at the same time how to honour the women in my life the way they deserve to be honoured. If all men took the advice in this book, they would be happy, creative,and vital. They would grow into the kind of men the world needs to rise to the challenge of finding solutions to our problems. What's more, the women in these men's lives would be willing to back him through thick and thin.

I am in the process of transforming my life with the help of this book. It gets my highest recommendation. Thank you, Theun Mares.

A strange, and thus a very interesting book! One is never sure of what he is feeling or thinking when reading this book. As if you are walking along a Mebius leaf - you make a full circle and you find yourself staying on the opposite side of the surface. You have to walk one more circle in order to find yourself in a point, familiar to you. But this is a characteristic feature of all books, written by Theun Mares, and especially of those, concerning relationship between men and women - the most painful area on the body of man-kind. Why is this point so painful? Remember the story of Adam and Eve - it reflects some thing that has happened long, long ago and that has horrible consequences for the creative interaction of male and female aspects of awareness. We are not able to comprehend the whole truth of this parable, but at least we have to TRY to understand why men and women are so often unhappy in their life and collaboration. Theun Mares is the first who is making efforts to unveil the truth of sexes before the society. And it is not a surprise that his attempts will meet the anger and resistance of different minorities and groups of people, who have curved comprehension of what the role of sexes is in the creative process of life. The book has not to be taken in its face value. Theun Mares is a powerful stalker and he knows that the purpose of the word is to grasp the meaning. When the meaning is grasped the word is forgotten. That is why unless the message in these two books about male and female aspects will be grasped the sense of uneasiness will be presented in the reader

A strange, and thus a very interesting book! One is never sure of what he is feeling or thinking when reading this book. As if you are walking along a Mebius leaf - you make a full circle and you find yourself staying on the opposite side of the surface. You have to walk one more circle in order to find yourself in a point, familiar to you. But this is a characteristic feature of all books, written by Theun Mares, and especially of those, concerning relationship between men and women - the most painful area on the body of man-kind. Why is this point so painful? Remember the story of Adam and Eve - it reflects some thing that has happened long, long ago and that has horrible consequences for the creative interaction of male and female aspects of awareness. We are not able to comprehend the whole truth of this parable, but at least we have to TRY to understand why men and women are so often unhappy in their life and collaboration. Theun Mares is the first who is making efforts to unveil the truth of sexes before the society. And it is not a surprise that his attempts will meet the anger and resistance of different minorities and groups of people, who have curved comprehension of what the role of sexes is in the creative process of life. The book has not to be taken in its face value. Theun Mares is a powerful stalker and he knows that the purpose of the word is to grasp the meaning. When the meaning is grasped the word is forgotten. That is why unless the message in these two books about male and female aspects will be grasped the sense of uneasiness will be presented in us when reading this book.

I recently finished reading this book, and, to be honest, I am not entirely certain what I think about it. But, I can say without a doubt that there are many valuable insights offered in this book. Most notably, are his explosion of the myths of manhood that exist in this culture. In this section of the book, he very thoroughly shows the way in which our notions of manhood are either slight exaggerations or gross distortions of the true nature of manhood. This section was very valuable.

All in all, I would say that this book left me with some interesting ideas to think about. Even if you don't agree with everything in the book, as I do not, it is still undeniable that this book has value to offer to any male reader. Warning though, have a critical mind, and come to your own conclusions about what it means to be a true male. One thing the authors says, that I agree with, is that no one can help you on this quest, even this author. So use this book as a starting point for your own investigation, and come to your own understanding and knowing of what it means to be a man.