101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged (Paperback)

~ (Author)
Key Phrases: Ask Before You Get Engaged, Warning-Never Marry

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

The Perfect Remedy for Cold Feet!

More than half of all couples who become engaged this year will never make it to the altar. Why? Leading experts believe it’s because couples fail to really get to know their potential mate before getting engaged. Relationship expert and noted couples counselor Norm Wright steers potential brides and grooms through a series of soul–searching questions to discern if they’ve really met “the One.”

Couples will be much more confident about whether or not to pursue marriage after completing these in–depth and personal questions. Norm also addresses the delicate subject of calling off the wedding if readers discover that a potential mate isn’t actually meant to be a life partner.

Product Details

• Paperback: 144 pages
• Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (June 1, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0736913947
• ISBN-13: 978-0736913942
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #14,987 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #15 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Mate Seeking
  #39 in	Books > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living > Relationships > Marriage
  #43 in	Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Sociology > Marriage & Family

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

43 of 44 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book every couple should read whether thinking about marriage or not, October 10, 2007

By	Brian - See all my reviews

This book is a really great book for multiple reasons.

First off, the introduction is really well written and will make you face any major issues head on. It suggests if there are certain warning signs or red flags in your relationship, it might not be a relationship to stay in. Both my girlfriend and I were surprised that everything listed as warning signs and red flags pretty much described all our past serious relationships (but luckily not ours! haha). We wished we had somebody spell it out to us so clearly back when we were in them! lol

Second, this book does exactly what you are expecting it to with the 101 questions. Every single question we've read has either started a very good conversation, enlightened us into how the other views something, or was something we've discussed at length before and if we hadn't would be an important topic to talk about.

Now I suggested in the title that this book is for every couple and not just for ones thinking of getting engaged or married. It can be elightening to couples who are casually dating and want some interesting conversation topics, or couples who are getting ready to get engaged or married. Couples who are just dating will learn more about their significant other and see if it really is somebody they want to stay with. For couples who are getting engaged or married it can help work through alot of issues before the stress of being married is added into the mix.

All in all, to me it is a definite read to any couple and I will be suggesting it to all my friends and family.

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Good questions--Introduction is a little uneven, March 6, 2009

By	AvidReader (NYC) - See all my reviews

Many of the questions in this book are excellent tools for getting to know your significant other better, as you are contemplating marriage to that person.

The introduction, however, is basically a list of reasons not to get married, with little balance on the other end. For instance, the author quotes Rachel Safier, who wrote a book about women who called off their weddings(There Goes the Bride: Making Up Your Mind, Calling it Off and Moving On ). Safier's book is really popular with women who want confirmation that they did or are doing the right thing in dissolving their relationships; it's pretty one-sided in that way, as are many relationship books. But for people who have a fear of commitment due to family history or other causes, all this does (and all Safier's book does) is provide them with additional reasons to avoid marriage and commitment. Basically, the idea is if you don't feel absolutely certain, then you should dissolve the relationship. He even says something to effect of, if I haven't scared you away by now, then congratulations! Maybe this is because so many couples get engaged when they are still newly infatuated with each other, and not as worried about or simply blinded to the other person's character, background, lifestyle, personality, habits, etc.

Ironically, the author even addresses the fact that some readers may be afraid of commitment later in the book, and he suggests that answering some of the questions may prove helpful in diminishing those fears. But, he should have addressed when he mentioned the reasons to not move forward. It's called balance.

Are there red flags in relationships? Absolutely. He discusses abuse and other potential warning signs that one should look out for. I find his commentary -- apart from that in the introduction-- allows for unique differences between couples/individuals. But occasionally, he writes in a way that suggests that there is only one right way to do something --praying together--for instance. That sort of thing could potentially lead someone to hold his/her partner up to an unfair/unrealistic or rigid standard.

I think that Oliver should save the red flag discussion until the end of the book, so that couples can think about what they've learned through these questions and weigh them against the warning signs. And while he's writing about reasons not to get married, he should also write about when a couple should be considering marriage, about what a healthy relationship looks like, the qualities of a good marriage, and some of the questions/doubts/fears that some experience when contemplating such a big step. Above all, he should encourage couples to go for premarital counseling to address their individual situation instead of hoping to find all of the answers in a book written for large audience.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best relationship book ever!, November 5, 2006

By	Michael Rebholz "mrebholz72" (Westfield, IN) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

My wife and I used this book while we were dating. This book was so pivitol in our relationship. This has laid a foundation in our relationship for communication. We have gone through all kinds of trials since, and yet the communication skills were laid early and has allowed us to come through those trials. This is a must use resource for any dating couple who is considering the next step.