Customer Reviews

Questions Children Ask and How to Answer Them

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Children are naturally curious. That is how they learn. By asking questions, they find their way through the world of endless information. This book gives answers for children in four age groups. This includes age 2-4, 4-6, 6-8 and 8-11.

While many parents will find this book a bit controversial, I think once they read the contents for what it is, it will in fact help them to decide what they want to tell a child and when. It is my understanding that this is a guide for parents to help them answer questions, so that is my word of caution to parents.

Each parent will have to decide what they want to tell a child or what they don't want to tell them. I do not advise this book for reading with a child. It is way too detailed for the earlier ages. Plus, don't you want your child to think you really know all this information and look up to you with great awe. I am joking, but really some of the information presented was a bit much to tell a child.

The sections on sex are very graphic and tell all. Now that you are all pulling out your credit cards.....shall I go on? Well on a more serious note, do I want my children to know the mechanics of sex if I want them to abstain until they are married. Then on the other hand, do I want my child to be prepared to fight off a molester? Yes! So, what do I tell a child at a young age so they are safe. That is the trick question and this book will help parents to know what to tell a child and at what age. This book deals with very difficult issues, ones that even adults don't want to deal with, like divorce.

It is sad that children can't grow up in a perfect world and what is a parent to do when their child comes home with questions about life as they know it. In this day and age, children sometimes have to learn "survival skills." Subjects like drugs and alcohol are things you have to discuss with a child in order to protect them from getting physically harmed. Dr. Miriam Stoppard has a very open policy. She believes in keeping the lines of communication open between the parent and child from a very early age. She believes this helps to prevent the typical teenage withdrawal.

Some of the questions included are:

Where did I come from? Does the baby grow inside you? How does the baby get out? What is sex? (then a bunch of sexual questions I will let you discover on your own) Why can't I take my clothes off? What happens when you die? Why do some babies die? Who is God? What is Religion? Where did Mommy/Daddy go? What's a divorce? Why am I adopted? Why can't I make friends? Why do I have to go to school? Why is my skin color different? Why can't she walk? Do I have to eat meat? Why can't I talk to strangers? What is a bully? What does violence mean? What is alcohol? Why is smoking bad for you? What are drugs?

As you can see these are issues children have to deal with. I can't think of a subject this book doesn't cover. While the guidelines are practical, use your own moral standards to decide how much you will tell your child. The age chart is helpful, yet I recommend this book with a word of caution. Dr. Miriam Stoppard says this: "To no child is my whole answer necessary. Pick and choose; discard and invent; reject and create." I can heartily agree with that advice and in that way this book can become very useful as a tool for parents to use to help a child understand the world around them.

~The Rebecca Review

I enjoyed some of the descriptions and easy to understand terms used to explain some of the more sensitive subjects that most parents are uncomfortable with. I do, however, believe some of her discussions about social and emotional issues were lacking and in some ways, outdated. A particular example of this is her explaining what to do about coping with bullys. I found it appalling that in this day in age, her advice is to warn the bully you will strike back, and then do so upon further harassment by the bully. "Take one final swoop" and then go find a grown up. Sounds like an outdated mode of coping, one that in today's society would get you suspended from school, at the least, fatally wounded at the worst. Made me question some of her other explanations about similar issues.

Self help at it's best, for those who want to use the best "words." Adults know what they want to say but sometimes need help explaining to a child. This is the perfect book for those of us that forget what it's like to be a child, listening to an adult explanation.What to Expect the First Year, Second Ed

My wife & I found this one in a bookstore and thought it was a great book... for those truly interesting questions that invariably kids will ask...

Perfect for any parent with inquistive kids...

A coworker of mine uses this as her "manual" and recently lent me her copy. This is a pretty good guide to start with in case you encounter some difficult questions you're not sure how to tackle. The suggested answers are really meant to serve as a way to encourage a healthy & open dialogue. Obviously you need to tailor it to your own beliefs. I like that the answers are divided into 4 age groups: 2-4, 4-6, 6-8, 8-11. I also like that Stoppard explains the psychology behind the questions being asked. For example, knowing that "the world of a young child is very self-centered and a simple answer will satisfy his curiosity" will spare a parent from agonzing about what details to share on a sensitive topic.

There are 37 questions in all, divided into 5 main categories:
Questions About Sex and Birth (includes Sexual Orientation, Masturbation, Puberty, Nudity, Contraceptives, Genitaila)
Questions About the Unknown (includes Death, God, Religion, Darkness)
Questions About Relationships (includes Divorce, Adoption, School, Friendships, Siblings, Step-parents)
Questions About Differences (includes Races, Disabilities, Vegetarian Lifestyle)
Questions About Safety & Health (includes Strangers, Abuse, Violence, Drugs, Alcohol, Smoking, AIDS)

Another reviewer wrote a critique about Stoppard's suggested answers on bullying. When I read that section, this is what I found: "For Ages 6-8: You know Mommy and Daddy don't approve of violence - punching and hitting - but bullies are bad; they must be stopped. So this is what you do next time: give the bully one warning and say if he attacks you again you'll hit him back, then go and tell your teacher what happened. Tell me, too, as soon as possible. And if he does hit you again, give him one big swipe, and then quickly go and tell your teacher. Don't try to hit back if there's more than one bully. Don't worry, your teacher knows how to deal with bullies, so I promise nothing bad will happen if you tell." For ages younger than 6, she does not mention ever to hit the bully. For ages 8-11, she gives a lengthier explanation about how bullies are probably very unhappy underneath and bullying is a way to pretend they aren't unhappy. She further writes "It isn't a good idea to try to hit back more than once - this will just lead to a fight, which bullies like. The best thing is to tell your teacher about it - ask a friend to come with you for moral support." In Stoppard's guidelines, she writes "Before he turned nine, I used to tell my son to give the bully one warning and then hit back, but a child shouldn't do this if faced with several others. A child can ask a trusted older child to help deal with bullies, but you should always report bullying to the school, even if it is happening outside the school premises, and ask for the staff's help to discipline bullies, in a discreet way so as to protect your child." She explains more in the section so I disagree with the other reviewer about this advice being outdated.

At first glance, this book looked like it covers a lot but there are actually many more questions Stoppard suggests could be brought up but doesn't necessarily provide any guidelines for you. Maybe a second book is needed =] Anyway, this is still a pretty good guide to start with.