47 of 67 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
The worst possible book any gay mormon could read., April 4, 2010
This review is from: In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction (Paperback)
I'm a homosexual man with LDS parents. My mom gave this book to me for my birthday when I turned 21. Even though I'm very secure with myself and don't consider myself a mormon, I thought I would read it. The book is split into two stories; I, admittedly, only read the first.
The story is about a gay mormon whose parents do everything they can to help him see the truth of their church and renounce who he really is. He ends up killing himself. What was most horrifying to me was at the end of the story it states that these parents are helping other gay kids at BYU. These people should be locked away for the assisted murder of their son, not being allowed to help other youth "struggling" with homosexuality.
I say this honestly and sincerely to any LDS parents of gay children: If you truly love your child, encourage them to find peace and happiness on their own without the church. There is no place in the Mormon church for homosexuals, this book clearly shows that.
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26 of 43 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Breaking the Silence, December 31, 2004
This review is from: In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction (Paperback)
For most of my life I have struggled to reconcile my feelings of same-gender attraction with my heart-felt Christian and LDS convictions. More accurately, I have tried to pray, fast, ignore, obey, work, and psychoanalyze away the feelings that always seemed so incongruent with my faith. Like many others, these efforts have taught me many things, and, I think, brought me closer to the Savior, but have not eliminated the attractions. Also like many others, I have spent considerable time and energy beating myself up over my percieved failure.
I finally decided to trust others enough to leave the contradiction of anguished security that I found in my own "quiet desperation." Some of the simple truths I learned, the ones that have helped me find happiness and true security, are beautifully taught and expanded upon by the authors of this book.
They describe the difference between a temptation and an action, and which of the two we should worry most about. They explain that homosexual, straight, white, green, whatever... none of us are all that different; everyone regardless of his or her challenges needs to come to the Father through Christ, and is only safe by doing so. They aren't satisfied with simply declaring that there is a place in the kingdom for all, (including the same-gender attracted), who live its standards. Rather, they teach that there is work for ALL OF US to do in bringing others to the table as well-that everyone's efforts are welcome and needed to build the kingdom. Most importantly they testify of the infinite reach of Christ's atonement and of his power to succor, heal, forgive and make us more like Him. They offer the hope that, even if those like me will never succesfully eliminate their feelings of same-gender attraction in this life, there is still much happiness, purpose, and peace promised in this life, and a restoration of all things in the next through Christ's infinite mercy.
This book is written to those who experience, and those who love someone that experiences, same-gender attraction. However, it expounds on doctrine that is applicable to anyone, (that would be all of us), who experiences heartache, trials, and whose lives just aren't going to turn the way we planned. I believe that people who experience the same struggles that I do, as well as those who don't, can draw strength from the principles taught in this book.
I am grateful that the authors were brave enough to produce something so personal. I am also grateful to those at Deseret Book who dared to publish a potentially controversial work. I believe that there must be risk to all involved. But the result is a text that is courageously, believably genuine, and a message that breaches the silence of a desperately quiet subject.
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22 of 38 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
No other book quite like this one, March 10, 2005
This review is from: In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction (Paperback)
Ty Mansfield, as a 20-something young man, has shown in his writings in this wonderful book incredible insights and a profound understanding of how Gospel principles really apply to people with same-sex attraction challenges. As a 40-something guy who is finding my way through these same challenges, I can testify that Ty's understandings are correct and the kind of truth that can help us find the ultimate solutions.
This book is not necessarily a step-by-step how-to guide, like Jason Park's books (such as Resolving Homosexual Problems: A Guide for LDS Men, available from Evergreen International), but I have never seen Gospel principles pondered in a way that applies so much to our struggles as I have read in Ty's book. I highly recommend it to everyone, SSA strugglers and non-strugglers alike.
And the first 50 pages are the personal story of the parents of Stuart Matis, who sadly took his life before finding the answers that many of us are now finding. Their story and their obvious dedication to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to the principle of Christ-like love are very impressive and motivating.
Get it. Read it. Pray about the principles it discusses. You will be glad you did.
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