Most likely, someone you know is living a life of quiet desperation, struggling with feelings of same-gender attraction. In an effort to help Latter-day Saints understand and reach out to those who suffer from this difficulty, Fred and Marilyn Matis discuss how they’ve dealt with the knowledge of their son Stuart’s challenge with same-gender attraction, and how parents and others can reach out with love. In addition, Ty Mansfield discusses his own challenge and how he continues to go forward with faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. "The Lord promised that He would deliver us, but he didn't say when," writes Mansfield. "He never promised that it would happen by Monday, and he never promised it would happen in mortality. He only said it would happen."
In Quiet Desperation
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Book Description
A parent’s spiritual journey toward understanding. A young adult’s search for purpose and peace.
Editorial Reviews
Review
Finally - No Rhetoric, October 22, 2005 by a customer This is a book that offers real peoples' experiences and struggles as they sought the strength of the Lord to carry them from day to day. It's free of the rhetoric and personal agendas that fill almost all of the writings on the subject. This is a book of hope. A message of hope and faith, July 17, 2006 by a customer I have found much hope and faith in reading 'In Quiet Desperation.' I am grateful that there are those out there who are willing to share their stories and shed light on this usually 'dark' or 'forbidden' challenge. I have been dealing with same-sex attraction my entire life and find a great deal of hope in realizing there is a place for me in the Kingdom of my God. I am grateful to the authors for their raw honesty. This book reminds us that we do not have to live a life of misery and fear and depression because of same-sex attraction. The book is uplifting. Excellent resource!
--This text refers to the
Kindle Edition
edition.
From the Inside Flap
In Quiet Desperation Understand more clearly one of the most difficult and perplexing challenges of our time – same-gender attraction.
Most likely, someone you know is living a life of quiet desperation, struggling with feelings of same-gender attraction. This book can help.
Part 1 takes us into the heart and mind of a mother and father who did all they knew how to assist their son to bear this heavy burden and face life in the best way he could. "If all youth knew they were loved and accepted, there would be fewer suicides and fewer children lost to the gospel of our Savior."
Part 2 shares the reflections of another young man who wrestles with same-gender attraction but who moves forward with hope. "The Lord promised that he would deliver us, but He didn’t say when. He never promised that it would happen by Monday; and He never promised it would happen in mortality. He only said it would happen."
And though these experiences come from the perspectives of men who have feelings of same-gender attraction and their friends and family who love them, the principles and their application discussed here are equally useful in the lives of women who have this challenge.
In fact, this book can teach all of us how to draw closer to the Lord, no matter what our circumstances or burden may be.
"In Quiet Desperation was the single most important influence in helping my husband and me when we first learned of our son’s homosexuality. The authors’ insights and strong gospel-centered approach brought us much peace and helped us to open our hearts and find hope." -Grateful parents
"As one who faces the daily battle of same-gender attraction, fighting to maintain hope and striving to live by the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ, these insights have helped me gain a stronger sense of my absolute worth and a more firm understanding of my purpose in the plan of salvation." –Resolute fighter
"This book has allowed me to have greater understanding and give better counsel as I’ve met with individuals who struggle with the challenge of same-gender attraction. I highly recommend this book to any church leader who has the stewardship to reach out and give life-sustaining guidance." –Priesthood leader
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
47 of 67 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
The worst possible book any gay mormon could read.,
By
This review is from: In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction (Paperback)
I'm a homosexual man with LDS parents. My mom gave this book to me for my birthday when I turned 21. Even though I'm very secure with myself and don't consider myself a mormon, I thought I would read it. The book is split into two stories; I, admittedly, only read the first.
The story is about a gay mormon whose parents do everything they can to help him see the truth of their church and renounce who he really is. He ends up killing himself. What was most horrifying to me was at the end of the story it states that these parents are helping other gay kids at BYU. These people should be locked away for the assisted murder of their son, not being allowed to help other youth "struggling" with homosexuality. I say this honestly and sincerely to any LDS parents of gay children: If you truly love your child, encourage them to find peace and happiness on their own without the church. There is no place in the Mormon church for homosexuals, this book clearly shows that.
26 of 43 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Breaking the Silence,
By Name Withheld (Omaha, NE, USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction (Paperback)
For most of my life I have struggled to reconcile my feelings of same-gender attraction with my heart-felt Christian and LDS convictions. More accurately, I have tried to pray, fast, ignore, obey, work, and psychoanalyze away the feelings that always seemed so incongruent with my faith. Like many others, these efforts have taught me many things, and, I think, brought me closer to the Savior, but have not eliminated the attractions. Also like many others, I have spent considerable time and energy beating myself up over my percieved failure. I finally decided to trust others enough to leave the contradiction of anguished security that I found in my own "quiet desperation." Some of the simple truths I learned, the ones that have helped me find happiness and true security, are beautifully taught and expanded upon by the authors of this book. They describe the difference between a temptation and an action, and which of the two we should worry most about. They explain that homosexual, straight, white, green, whatever... none of us are all that different; everyone regardless of his or her challenges needs to come to the Father through Christ, and is only safe by doing so. They aren't satisfied with simply declaring that there is a place in the kingdom for all, (including the same-gender attracted), who live its standards. Rather, they teach that there is work for ALL OF US to do in bringing others to the table as well-that everyone's efforts are welcome and needed to build the kingdom. Most importantly they testify of the infinite reach of Christ's atonement and of his power to succor, heal, forgive and make us more like Him. They offer the hope that, even if those like me will never succesfully eliminate their feelings of same-gender attraction in this life, there is still much happiness, purpose, and peace promised in this life, and a restoration of all things in the next through Christ's infinite mercy. This book is written to those who experience, and those who love someone that experiences, same-gender attraction. However, it expounds on doctrine that is applicable to anyone, (that would be all of us), who experiences heartache, trials, and whose lives just aren't going to turn the way we planned. I believe that people who experience the same struggles that I do, as well as those who don't, can draw strength from the principles taught in this book. I am grateful that the authors were brave enough to produce something so personal. I am also grateful to those at Deseret Book who dared to publish a potentially controversial work. I believe that there must be risk to all involved. But the result is a text that is courageously, believably genuine, and a message that breaches the silence of a desperately quiet subject.
22 of 38 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
No other book quite like this one,
By SteveSGU "SteveSGU" (Utah) - See all my reviews
This review is from: In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction (Paperback)
Ty Mansfield, as a 20-something young man, has shown in his writings in this wonderful book incredible insights and a profound understanding of how Gospel principles really apply to people with same-sex attraction challenges. As a 40-something guy who is finding my way through these same challenges, I can testify that Ty's understandings are correct and the kind of truth that can help us find the ultimate solutions.
This book is not necessarily a step-by-step how-to guide, like Jason Park's books (such as Resolving Homosexual Problems: A Guide for LDS Men, available from Evergreen International), but I have never seen Gospel principles pondered in a way that applies so much to our struggles as I have read in Ty's book. I highly recommend it to everyone, SSA strugglers and non-strugglers alike. And the first 50 pages are the personal story of the parents of Stuart Matis, who sadly took his life before finding the answers that many of us are now finding. Their story and their obvious dedication to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to the principle of Christ-like love are very impressive and motivating. Get it. Read it. Pray about the principles it discusses. You will be glad you did.
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