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Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry
 
 
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Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry [Hardcover]

Perri Klass (Author), Eileen Costello (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)


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Book Description

November 11, 2003
The toddler whose tantrums scare all the other kids on the playground . . . The three-year-old who ignores all his toys but seems passionately attached to the vacuum cleaner . . . The fourth-grade girl who never gets invited to a birthday party because classmates think she’s “weird” . . . The geek who is terrific at math, but is failing every other subject. Quirky children are different from other kids in ways that they–and their parents and teachers–have a hard time understanding or explaining. Straddling the line between eccentric and developmentally impaired, quirky children present challenges that standard parenting books fail to address. Now, in Quirky Kids, nationally known writer/pediatrician Perri Klass and her colleague Eileen Costello, a seasoned pediatrician with a special interest in child development, finally provide the expert guidance and in-depth research that families with quirky children so desperately need.

A generation ago, such children were called odd ducks or worse. But nowadays, they are often assigned medical, psychiatric, or neurological diagnoses. The diagnoses often overlap or shift, but the labels can be frightening. Klass and Costello illuminate the confusing list of terms applied to quirky children these days–nonverbal learning disability, sensory integration disorder, obsessive-compulsive behavior, autistic spectrum disorder, pervasive developmental disorder, Asperger’s syndrome–and explain how to assess what exactly each diagnosis means and how to use it to help a child most effectively.

Quirky Kids takes you through the stages of a child’s life, helping to smooth the way at home, at school, even on the playground. How do you make it through mealtime, when emotions often erupt? How do you help the child’s siblings understand what’s going on? Is it better to “mainstream” the child or seek a special education program? How can you make a school more welcoming and flexible for a quirky child? How do you help your child deal with social exclusion, name-calling, and bullying?

Choosing the right therapy for quirky children is especially difficult, because their problems fall outside traditional medical categories. Coping strategies might include martial arts or horseback riding, or speech and occupational therapies. Klass and Costello cover all the options, as well as offer a thorough consideration of the available medications, how they work, and whether medication is the best choice for your child.

Drs. Klass and Costello firmly believe that the ideal way to help our quirky kids is to understand and embrace the qualities that make them exceptionally interesting and lovable. Written with upbeat clarity and informed insight, their book is a comprehensive guide to loving, living with, and enjoying these wonderful if challenging children.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Boston pediatricians Klass and Costello address a growing parenting issue: when to worry and when not, how far to push for diagnosis and/or treatment when a child's "quirkiness" becomes concerning. Broadly defining "quirky" kids as "the ones who do things differently" (they may exhibit skewed development, temperamental extremes or social difficulties), the authors explore such confounding and complex syndromes as anxiety disorder, attention deficit disorder, Tourette's syndrome, oppositional defiance disorder, Asperger's syndrome and other problems. Reassuring but frank, Klass and Costello walk parents through the steps of helping a quirky child, beginning with talking to the child's pediatrician, coping with the parents' sense of loss of a perfect child, getting a diagnosis and negotiating the maze of evaluations and evaluators. Parents of quirky kids share many similar dilemmas, such as whom to tell, how to deal with social and peer issues, or how to handle homework. The authors present a thorough discussion of the many therapies and medical treatments available, but also advise parents to keep their own lives in balance as they search for answers, warning that "making your own single quirky child into your life's mission can be dangerous." The book is a good place for parents of quirky kids to start their research, though some may find the title off-putting and a bit quirky itself.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"This is a brave book. The two authors help parents face their quirky kids as they grow up. How to get help and how to get a diagnosis to share with the child. The practical advice about day to day living and how to keep your child feeling safe and important is just stellar! Every parent of a "quirky kid" needs this book."
-T. Berry Brazelton, M.D.

"A superb, original, hugely needed book. If you love a quirky child, teach a quirky child, coach a quirky child, know a quirky child, or were a quirky child, you should sing a hymn of praise to Drs. Klass and Costello for writing the first and the definitive guide to understanding these marvelous kids. Free of jargon, full of facts and wisdom and practical advice, free of fluff but full of love for children and families, this book provides both guidance and hope. Read this book, and rejoice in your quirky child! She or he has so much to give us all."
-Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness

"As I read this wonderful and helpful book, I kept nodding in agreement: "Yes, this is right, this is good, very true!" Parents and pediatricians NEED this book. A+."
-Carol Stock Kranowitz, M.A., Author, The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Integration Dysfunction

"
A clearly written, practical, no-nonsense book for parents and professionals working and living with these children, Quirky Kids provides a guide through the maze of suspected causes and treatment approaches with which families are often confronted. This book is a gem.”
-Margaret L. Bauman, M.D., Associate Professor of Neurology, Harvard Medical School

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 400 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books (November 11, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345451422
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345451422
  • Product Dimensions: 9.7 x 6.2 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.5 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #747,877 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

21 Reviews
5 star:
 (14)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (4)
2 star:
 (1)
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Average Customer Review
4.4 out of 5 stars (21 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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146 of 149 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Great source of reassurance and information, April 23, 2004
By 
Monica J. Kern (Lexington, KY United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry (Hardcover)
I would have loved to have this book two years ago. My son, then just shy of 3, was sweet and rambunctious, but just a little bit off the normal developmental trajectories. He had a phenomenal memory (he could walk into a store in a different state we had visited only once years earlier and remember EXACTLY where the bathroom was...), but he showed little interest in playing with other kids and his speech was delayed. Our worries peaked when another parent at Isaac's gymnastics class turned to us, identified himself as a pediatrician, and asked us what therapies Isaac was receiving because it was "obvious" he was a special needs child. Needless to say, we were more than a little distraught at this off-the-cuff diagnosis and wound up spending the next several months having Isaac undergo various types of evaluation. He ultimately was diagnosed with PDD-NOS and has shown tremendous gains after receiving early intervention and speech therapy.

Looking back over that confusing, scary time, when we feared that something was "wrong" with Isaac but didn't know what, I realize that our fear and uncertainty would have been greatly diminished had I known of and read "Quirky Kids." Indeed, I think this book would be most helpful to those parents who are just starting the journey toward diagnosis and treatment. Parents like myself who have long gone through the evaluation process and have read extensively on these topics, etc. will not find much new in this volume. That did not stop me from reading and enjoying the book, however; I just really wish I had read the book much earlier, as it would have helped me greatly in understanding what was going on with my son.

There were several aspects of the book I thought were particularly strong. First, I was glad to see the authors devote so much time to the etiology of these disorders, and I was EXTREMELY glad to see them debunk several of the popular myths floating around (e.g., the MMR vaccine) regarding the causes of autism. I also found the section on common medications prescribed and their side effects to be very helpful; parents need full knowledge of the possible benefits and negative consequences of the medications that health professionals can sometimes be too eager to prescribe.

The aspect of the book I found most helpful, however, was the authors' calm reassurance regarding children who fall under the diagnoses covered by the book. The title itself captures this feeling of reassurance: These children are "quirky," and as the authors stress repeatedly, these diagnoses are fairly new. As recently as 10 or 20 years ago, these children would not have received a diagnosis at all. This has important implications, and perhaps the authors could have pointed out more explicitly the Catch-22 that parents of quirky kids face today: Early intervention helps, but receiving such intervention entails attaching a diagnostic label to your child that could stigmatize him or her and last a lifetime. Perhaps the greatest service this book provides is to walk parents through the maze of evaluation and diagnosis and subsequent therapies so that parents know better what they are getting themselves and their families into.

This book raises a broader philosophical question: To what extent are we becoming a country obsessed with perfection and intolerant of any sort of deviation from the norm? When quirky kids who are, for the most part, functional and happy are given a diagnosis and thrown into therapy to get them to play and talk like other children, are we at risk of losing or devaluing some of the incredible diversity of human behavior that makes life interesting? I sometimes wonder. I know that my son has always been and is now one of the happiest children I have ever seen. He has an enthusiasm for life that brings smiles to the faces of everybody who sees him. Quite frankly, it bothers us--his parents--that he has few friends more than it does him. The admirable quality of "Quirky Kids" is that the authors help us to cherish the differences in our children and remind us that the most important thing, in the long run, is to help them enjoy their childhood and to let them be a kid first, and quirky second.

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37 of 39 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Understanding, practical help for parents w/ difficult kids, July 30, 2004
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This review is from: Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry (Hardcover)
This is one of those rare books that deserves more than 5 stars. As the mom of a challenging, hard-to-parent kid, this book was tremendously helpful and comforting. I only wish I'd read it five years ago, when I first started to feel as though my child was "different" and "quirky" but chalked it up to being a first-time mom and worrywart. The book does a great job of explaining different kinds of behavior that quirky kids exhibit; defines and distinguishes between different diagnoses that quirky kids may receive (like Asperger's, attention deficit and sensory integration); talks about real-world problems that arise while parenting a quirky kid; gives practical advice for how to handle troublesome behaviors and situations; offers guidance for getting quirky children the best, most effective education from infancy through the teen years; talks realistically about various therapies; and most of all, provides reassurance and comfort. I especially appreciated the quotes from real parents of quirky kids. If you've ever suspected your kid might be "different," "quirky" or "abnormal", if you've ever wondered whether your kid's troublesome behavior was normal or something more, if you've flirted with the idea of seeking professional help for a child you love, please read this book. You will be better able to distinguish between what may be a significant problem and what's just a stage, and you will find comfort, strength and hope for the journey ahead.
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35 of 37 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Companion for Parents of Quirky Kids, March 8, 2004
By 
Birches1 (Northern California, USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry (Hardcover)
This is a book for parents of kids whos have, or resemble those who have, any of several closely related disabilities: Asperger's Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disability - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS), Nonverbal Learning Disorder, Sensory Integration Dysfunction. But it's about the kids, not the disorders.

This is NOT the book to provide an in-depth understanding of any one of these diagnostic categories. For that purpose, a book more focused on whichever condition you're concerned about will probably serve you better. For example, my own favorite scholarly resource on Asperger's Syndrome is "Asperger Syndrome" (Guilford Press, 2000), a collection of articles edited by Drs. Klin, Volkmar and Sparrow of Yale.

But what this book does so well is to serve as a wise, perceptive and sympathetic counselor and friend for parents of kids who are in this spectrum. It speaks respectfully and helpfully about the whole range of real-world issues, including schools, helpful and non-so-helpful friends, maintaining your own mental health, balancing the needs of multiple kids when one or more has exceptional needs, genuinely appreciating your kid's strengths and quirks, understanding the heartaches and long-term worries. The authors always seem to "get" that this quirkiness doesn't come in only one flavor, or even in only a few flavors. They address, frankly, realistically and with real understanding and compassion, the fears and worries that parents of these kids are experiencing.

Where so many of the books I've read, and helping professionals with whom we've consulted, seem to illustrate the parable of the six blind men describing the elephant, Drs. Klass and Costello, the authors of "Quirky Kids," seem to see, and appreciate, the whole creature.

I'm REALLY glad I found this book, and I warmly recommend it to parents of quirky kids.

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First Sentence:
You're worried about a child you love. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
quirky child, quirky kids, quirky adults, pragmatic language therapy, attentional issues, sensory integration dysfunction, nonverbal learning disorder, splinter skills, autistic spectrum disorders, nonverbal learning disability, sensory issues
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York, Asperger Syndrome, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, The Oasis Guide, Carol Stock, Patricia Romanowski, The Out-of-Sync Child, Silicon Valley, Carol Gray, Massachusetts General Hospital
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