Customer Reviews

Race Manners for the 21st Century: Navigating the Minefield Between Black and White Americans in an Age of Fear

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This book, as the author states, is really the first of its kind. Mr Jacobs, an African-American, eloquently portrays the feelings of black and white Americans in normal, everyday situations. What makes this book so unique is the unbiased and unbitter perspective he shares from both sides, and how we as Americans can better understand the minefield of race relations. If you are white, read this book. Ditto if you are black. You'll learn a lot, as this white man did.

Sad to say, but I found this book ONLY in the African-American section of a bookstore. This is an ironic twist for a book designed for all people, regardless of color.

The author does an excellent job of walking through the minefields of race. I think his writing makes all races uncomfortabe. The Venusian chapter and his explanation of "ethnic" gave me pause. I didn't always agree with what was said, but it was said with such boldness and conviction until I had to re-read many of the lines. This book should be on the syllabus of all first-year college students. Reading this book wil make anyone realize that we all have racist tendencies. A wonderful read!

Race Manners matters! Bruce A. Jacob's masterful book creates a safe space for readers of all colors to explore their attitudes, assumptions, fears and hopes about this complex topic.

Like a daring tightrope walker, Mr. Jacobs sways at times to one side or the other, presenting with insight and compassion the views of whites and blacks on interracial dating, affirmative action, humor, ethnicity, etc.

While no one can speak for "all whites" or "all blacks" Mr. Jacobs is an astute observer who collects examples of white and black behaviour and attitudes that ring true in the larger population.

When so many voices are howling invective in the racial wilderness, it is soothing to have Mr. Jacobs bring the conversation into the parlor, inviting the reader to discuss this incendiary topic over a nice cup of tea. Do not think for a moment that civility is an excuse for skirting hot issues. It is not.

By addressing his readers as adults capable of civil conversation, Mr. Jacobs points to one of our greatest opportunities for healing the cultural warfare.

By putting race conversation squarely where it belongs, in our everyday and interractions with the people around us, Mr. Jacobs reminds us that the power to undo the evils of racism come from everyday acts as much as from political policy. Like ripples in a pool, the way we treat each other in elevators and busses, in conversation at home and at work, affect the racial climate in which we all swim.

Race Manners matters! Bruce A. Jacob's masterful book creates a safe space for readers of all colors to explore their attitudes, assumptions, fears and hopes about this complex topic.

Like a daring tightrope walker, Mr. Jacobs sways at times to one side or the other, presenting with insight and compassion the views of whites and blacks on interracial dating, affirmative action, humor, ethnicity, etc.

While no one can speak for "all whites" or "all blacks," Mr. Jacobs is an astute observer who collects examples of white and black behavior and attitudes that ring true in the larger population.

When so many voices are howling invective in the racial wilderness, it is soothing to have Mr. Jacobs bring the conversation into the parlor, inviting the reader to discuss this incendiary topic over a nice cup of tea.

Do not think for a moment that civility is an excuse for skirting hot issues. It is not. By addressing his readers as adults capable of civil conversation, Mr. Jacobs points to one of our greatest opportunities for healing the cultural warfare.

By putting race conversation squarely where it belongs, in our everyday interractions with the people around us, Mr. Jacobs reminds us that the power to undo the evils of racism come from ordinary acts as much as from political policy. Like ripples in a pool, the way we treat each other in elevators and busses, in conversation at home and at work, affect the racial climate in which we all swim.

This book is for everybody! Especially those who think about race relations, social justice issues, have participated in a Study Circle (Conversations on Race) or are considering participating.

I was fortunate enough to hear an interview with the author in NPR, and was so impressed by the intelligence of his responses to the questions asked that I went out on my lunch break and bought a copy of the book. I'm glad I did. Bruce Jacobs, in his book, deals with several different issues around the subject of race in America, treating boths sides objectively and providing sensible answers to each. His writings on affirmative action and interracial dating are particularly filled with insight, and avoids the stridency so common on both sides of those particular discussions. I highly recommend this book to anyone who cares about the issue of race in America.

---- How many times in the past four decades have I seen book reviewers and blurb-writers calling this or that volume "important?" Bruce Jacobs' Race Manners is one of the very few books that qualify. This is not a book of abstraction. It is not a sociological study or a volume of political science. It does not outline a social program to be instigated, and makes no call to widespread social action. This book is about not about policies and programs, but about persons. It's about really seeing real people in our everyday lives. Nothing, says Mr Jacobs, should come between well-meaning blacks and whites. Abstractions and generalizations prevent us from genuine encounters with the living individuals we actually meet. And although that may seem obvious, the value of this book lies in the author's ability to present concrete situations and to offer insight and suggestions that can enable us to transcend our history -- and the evils that still occur. The author explains that he wanted to write a book "that people could use, a book that would help each of us pick our way through the minefield of racial booby traps many of us encounter each and every day." "I did not write Race Manners," he says, "in order to bark cultural commands from on high. I offer it instead as my own ground-level window on our shared experience with race." The sharing of that experience, I would add, is something that binds us closely together, not for better or worse, but for the better. Mr Jacobs warns us that he will not have room to include every possible issue. "I may leave out things you think essential," he writes, "or include things you think inessential." The chapter on Elvis seems me to be an eminent example of the latter. I wish I could trade it for Mr Jacobs' comments on the subject of ancestral (or racial) guilt -- the idea that all whites bear, or should bear, some share of guilt for the crimes of slave-trading and slave-owning. My own great-grandparents were Sicilian fishermen. We weren't even in this country during the period of slavery. So for me "racial guilt" amounts to saying that I should feel guilty for the sins of someone else's **ancestors.** Those of us who are Christian, Jewish or Muslim needn't, I think, be much impressed by theories of ancestral guilt: the holy Prophet Ezekiel wrote that "the righteousness of the righteous shall be his own, and the iniquity of the transgressor shall be his own." Nevertheless, there does exist an "ancestral guilt" ideology, and I wish Mr Jacobs had grappled with it. It would not surprise me if, a few years hence, the last section - entitled "Head to Head, Heart to Heart" - should begin to be anthologized. The last chapter of that section, dealing with interracial dating and love, includes this observation: "It is miraculous, in its way, that in spite of centuries of slogging through stereotypes, happy black/white couples happen at all. They are a triumph over a history of war." I offer that last sentence for it's beauty and wisdom; such nuggets as this are found throughout the book. I work in a bookstore and have been tirelessly offering this little volume to everyone who comes along. Asians and Hispanics don't seem much interested, though. The book after all is really about black/white relations; others, when they realize that, perhaps feel left out. Confidentially, just between us blacks and whites -- this book is really **our** thing. But the insights in Race Manners make this valuable reading for everyone. An outstanding and noteworthy work.

RACE MANNERS FOR THE 21ST CENTURY is a valuable book that seeks to open up dialogue about race in America. Since the author, Bruce Jacobs, is African-American and shares many of his personal experiences, the book deals primarily with issues about blacks and whites in this country. However, in this new, revised version, there is also some attention paid to other "race manners," particularly the post-9/11 treatment of Muslims and people of Arab descent. The book is well organized and each chapter includes "Survival Suggestions" at the end of the discussion of the various themes. RACE MANNERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY touches on such subjects as Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, black music, ethnic jokes, and interracial relationships. I particularly enjoyed the discussion on what the author calls "rage radio," which highlighted the impact of the wave of ultra-conservative talk show hosts have on limiting dialogue about important topics. I also found the chapter on commonly held bigoted views useful.

RACE MANNERS FOR THE 21ST CENTURY should be read by anyone living in this country. While there is a slant towards issues of black and white, the author does an excellent job sharing his perspective and experience as a black man living in America. Some readers may disagree with his views on various subjects, but the purpose of the book is not to agree with Jacobs, but rather to discuss the subjects openly and honestly. To that end, the book is filled with suggestions on how to put topics of race on the table and discuss them intelligently. Avoiding talks about race doesn't make those issues go away and RACE MANNERS FOR THE 21ST CENTURY provides a toolkit to help navigate these conversations.

Reviewed by Stacey Seay
of The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers

This one of the best books on American society that I have ever read! This book is what people who try hard to understand the source of racial tension in this country have been waiting for. There is really something in here for everyone and must be read from cover to cover. No matter who you are, examples extracted from life in this book will disturb you in its honesty and you actually see yourself. This is not an overly intellectual essay but an accessible and poignant work that is completely plucked from real life and experience. It just required a brilliant author to put it all together.

Put simply, this quick read of a book is one of many to be experienced by anyone who truly wants to gain some operational insight on race -- one of the final frontiers of human understanding. Until we come up with a workable (or definitive) solution to the strange phenomenon that is "race," (other than complete avoidance of the topic, that is,) 'Race Manners' does a good job of being one of many tools for one's sociological 'toolkit.' It doesn't have all the answers...but then again, who does?