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Best Books of the Month
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Gestalt therapist Blanton believes that lying is the major cause of human stress and advocates strict truthfulness as the key to achieving intimacy and calm. Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.
--This text refers to an alternate
Paperback
edition.
From the Publisher
"Outrageously entertaining and wonderfully wise....apply it liberally throughout your life." --Gay Hendricks, Ph.D., co-author of Conscious Loving
"Dr. Blanton advocates a take-no-prisoners approach to honesty that would send Miss Manners shrieking from the room." --Elizabeth Hickey, The Washington Times
--This text refers to an alternate
Paperback
edition.
This book is brash, confident, strong, results-oriented, opinionated, simple, and straightforward to the point of over-simplifying. It also has New Age-y sub-themes that will put off some, but that's another matter.
The book's basic point is sound -- honesty is the best policy. However, the implementation of that policy, as described in "Radical Honesty", is not very nuanced. It is a shock program most properly applied to people who are consciously or unconsciously living out self-destructive scripts that they internalized from somewhere or another, for people who are being deeply, fundamentally dishonest with themselves and with others. It is for people who could use a real shaking up, to break free from the false security and real stress of a false persona.
That's fine as far as it goes. However, if you were to apply the principles of radical honesty indiscriminately in your daily life, you would be a jerk, basically, and you wouldn't be able to get anything done in society. It's best considered for bringing health to broken intimate relationships among adults.
On this point, a quote from Khalil Gibran comes to mind:
"If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully."
The stark candidness prescribed in "Radical Honesty" is not beautiful, it is raw and ultimately self-centered. It's for emergency use, like approaching the task of redecorating by burning your house down and starting over.
That said, personally I found the author's brash style to be refreshing and likeable. As always, the reader should just extract the personally valuable stuff out of his collection of techniques and his overall message, and simply ignore the rest.Read more ›
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122 of 135 people found the following review helpful
Whenever I pick this book up off the bookshelf I am reminded of the Jack Nicholsons character in A Few Good Men where he says "The Truth? You cant handle the truth!". This is an in your face book that will make some people terribly uncomfortable. People who are afraid of honesty. I believe that while many people will say they want the truth that when they hear it they are livid. Truth hurts. And I admit that I have a double standard with myself when it comes to truth. Most of the time I speak my mind and say what I believe. But I also admit that I also deflect questions from some people whom experience has shown me cannot handle the truth, simply because I don't need the nonsense in my life. And I admit that I winced when I first saw the books title and then became intrigued when I heard him speak on a variety of radio and television shows. So I bought the book and am glad. And yes it is heavily politically incorrect in an era where pushing and enabling the whole woe is me victim mode is so popular. One of my favorite parts of this book and advise that I believe more people need to take is where the author writes on page 179" Many of the people who go to therapists or physicians seeking relief are tired. They are tired from having worked out their lives in such a way that they get worn out instead of recharged by living. When someone like this takes responsibility for exercise, nutrition, and rest, a number of their "psychological" problems disappear. The human body has a wonderful capacity to restore itself it is given a break from abuse and a chance to rest. Wellness is a natural state of being for people who have learned how to get out of their own way.Read more ›
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81 of 89 people found the following review helpful
I used to think I was honest, until I read this book and realized that I had been nothing but a moralizing self-righteous bull*%$# artist and I was the cause of my anger, loneliness and seperation from others. It was not so much that I lied to those I loved, but that I had been lying to myself, I was hating everyone for not being who I thought they 'should' be... Well, what an experience it has been starting to listen to my body, share my anger, resentments and appreciations, to notice my victimization neurosis, and learning to share my feelings in the moment... Since I read the book and started practicing Radical Honesty, I have learnt how to live a life of laughter, loving, and joy... Pain, jeolousy, anger, etc. are no longer to be avoided, but to be 'experienced' as opportunities for growth, to work through them, to 'experience' them and move on.... Not only have I come to love myself, I love those around me for 'who' they are, and not for 'whom I want them to be'! Do yourself a favor and buy this book now, and then practice it! You'll never be the same.. ;-) I have not only bought it for my friends, but also my old enemies, some of whom have now become people I admire and appreciate.
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32 of 34 people found the following review helpful
Radical Honesty is a courageous piece of work that dares to tap into conversations many refuse to acknowledge, namely, the extent to which we as human beings have a level of dishonesty that permeates our lives, a level of dishonesty developed over years that is so automatic, so second nature, that we have forgotten anything else is possible. Blanton is intentionally blunt and abrasive. The message is not to be mixed with sugar. In fact, "sugar" is part of what is being distinguished. A trap in engaging this material is to interpret it as suggesting one should vocalize every thought or opinion without regard for its impact on others. That's just irresponsible, and it misses the message. Blanton points out how as human beings we are not naturally set up to be truthful. Instead, we say and do what we think will produce the desired result and have us succeed. That we attempt to manipulate each other (or at least please and impress each other) is not profound. That we don't realize the depth, breadth, and overall impact of this is more interesting. That we've grown to believe our "act" will be more successful in life than our true thoughts and feelings is profound indeed. Blanton is pointing to something that is possible, being utterly straight and authentic in life, and to a freedom and power that is on the other side of the "act." Perhaps utter truthfulness with others is an access to truthfulness with oneself, something we prefer to think we already have. Read Blanton's book, and you'll think again.Read more ›
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