From Rage to Courage: Answers to Readers' Letters [Paperback]

Alice Miller (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 12, 2009

Collected for the first time, Alice Miller’s most helpful, therapeutic, and invaluable answers to hundreds of readers’ letters.

The renowned childhood researcher, psychotherapist, and best-selling author Alice Miller has received, throughout her long and distinguished career, countless personal letters from readers all over the world. In From Rage to Courage, Dr. Miller has assembled the most recent, producing an insightful work that illuminates the issues and consequences of childhood abuse. Whether exploring the connection between repressed anger and physical illnesses like cancer, the reasons why many survivors of abuse turn to drugs or crime, or the cycle that condemns generations of families to cruelty in childhood, Dr. Miller’s answers are sensitive, honest, and supported by decades of experience. Unafraid of controversy, she discusses much-debated theories such as the impact of religious belief on the cultural traditions of child abuse and the therapeutic community’s denial of the truth and dependency on antidepressants. A practical guide to Dr. Miller’s unique therapeutic concept, this work once again affirms the healing and liberating power of retrieved emotions.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Noted Swiss-based psychotherapist Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child) again addresses the psychological and physical legacy of child abuse in these several hundred responses to readers' letters. But her book is weighed down by organizational problems, primarily in that the original letters don't appear here for reasons of privacy (some letters do appear on Miller's Web site). This omission leaves many of the responses sounding bland, without context and in some cases largely incomprehensible. For example, a two-sentence response begins, I am really happy that you understand me so well and that you are able to learn so much from your child. leaving the reader in the dark about what Miller is referring to. In addition, the letters run chronologically, rather than topically, so that issues are addressed randomly and repetitively. Finally, the responses are too brief to provide any depth. There are some valuable insights, such as It is very cruel to leave distressed children alone, for what they most need then is the warm presence of a loving person. But this frustratingly limited work adds little to Miller's previous writings. (Oct.)
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Review

"[Alice Miller] is one of those 'big ideas' people whose work is challenging and controversial but impossible to ignore." Matt Seaton, The Guardian

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Product Details

• Paperback: 207 pages
• Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company; Original edition (October 12, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0393337898
• ISBN-13: 978-0393337891
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 6.3 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,010,861 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars REAL THERAPY - IN YOUR POCKET, November 3, 2009

By 

Raymond - See all my reviews

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This review is from: From Rage to Courage: Answers to Readers' Letters (Paperback)

In this 2009 book, Alice Miller has selected over 400 of her replies to the Readers Letters which she receives and keeps on her website ([...]) This will be very useful for those who do not have ready access to the Internet. People who are new to Alice Miller's principles may find it difficult to accept her message and to realize that they have somebody on their side, for the first time. But for many, who are wondering why they are still sick, depressed or in addiction, despite years of meetings, self-help or therapy, and are prepared to accept the truth and reality that they are not crazy after all, that it is no wonder they feel this way and that indeed they are not alone, this book will bring about change. Her message is sure to touch their heart deeply and often, as she becomes a witness to their pain and troubles. They will repeatedly identify with the replies, as each page brings them on a rollercoaster of emotions through a movie-like experience of their own life. In the absence of an understanding and compassionate Witness, who would offer support and advice as well, this book will be a welcome companion. In the early days of this phase of DIS-covery, when compassion is more necessary than understanding and where the courageous step of reading these replies will allow the justified anger to surface and make way for the healing Rage, this book provides a living sanctuary not unlike group therapy. These pages can provide relief to almost all types of questions, right in this moment where an answer is what matters the most. It will hopefully take the readers to find out more about Alice Miller's writings or draw them to her website. Either way, Alice Miller's words have the power to ignite a fire which will never go out and may very well, at last, take them out of the darkness.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Miller's Mantra and Her Last Book, December 12, 2010

By 

G. Charles Steiner - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: From Rage to Courage: Answers to Readers' Letters (Paperback)

Alice Miller is a supporter and defender of the child against abuse, the natural, biological child as well as the inner child. I know of no greater advocate.

This book is a collection of her written replies to letters from people who wrote to her seeking help. Her replies are repetitive but they are also nuanced so that the variations she makes on her main points finally register loud and clear.

Here are some of the main points she asserts in her letters to those seeking help:

1. Nearly everyone has suffered from some form of child abuse and nearly everyone refuses to acknowledge it.

2. It is necessary to feel rage towards one's abusers in order to heal -- and not to try to feel forgiveness as it is a cover and stops the individual from coming to terms with his or her abuse. Forgiveness produces fake feelings, not authentic feelings.

3. Violence and criminality are caused by child abuse gone unacknowledged and repressed.

4. Traditional, Freudian-based psychoanalysis (even Primal Therapy) and New Age spiritualities, including the Twelve Step Program for addicts and alcoholics, do not address child abuse and thus cannot produce healing since they serve to protect the parents who were the initial abusers. (My mother would disagree with this point as she thinks all psychologists of every stripe are out to always blame the mother for the child's bad behavior.)

5. Spanking is abuse and leads to child abuse when children become adults and then become parents themselves.

6. All spanking and forms of violence against the child disturb the development of the child's brain structure, especially from one to four years of age.

7. Depression is merely a form of suppressed rage against one's abusive parents; we pay our loyalty to them by becoming depressed -- instead of angry and rebellious.

8. There is no religion on the planet that specifically mentions child abuse as an evil; there is no religion that protects and honors the child whereas there are commandments and rules honoring and protecting parents. No, Buddhism doesn't honor the child either.

9. Certain illnesses like arthritis, tumors, obesity can be traced empirically back to the individual having suffered unacknowledged child abuse.

10. Drugs are being prescribed by physicians in order to help the individual avoid having to confront his or her child abuse; the medical and psychiatric establishments want to be unaware of the damage caused by child abuse.

11. If you don't investigate your own child abuse issues, you will not have compassion or empathy for others and will perpetuate the same crimes that happened to you as a child.

12. "It is almost unbearable for a child not to be seen, not to be listened to."

13. Neglect and avoidance of the child's welfare, physical as well as emotional, are also forms of child abuse.

14. Many artists, Frederick Schiller, Franz Kafka, the Surrealists, Van Gogh, Chekov, and more, suffered from child abuse, writing about it in their works or painting its effects on one's brain and perceptions -- without acknowledging the child abuse in their lives and to their parents.

While I enjoyed this book, I found that it might be difficult for those readers who have not read Alice Miller's earlier works to appreciate what she has to say here since she only makes assertions in this text and doesn't build explanations or develop case histories to give greater context to her concepts. If anyone wants to read the important works of Alice Miller, you can read this book since she mentions the books she'd like her prospective readers to read, or you can, as she also states in this work -- you can visit her website at Alice-Miller.com.

It was in following Alice Miller's advice and looking for more articles on her website that I discovered, much to my regret, that Alice Miller expired in April of 2010, eight months ago, at the age of 87. So this is her very last work, and while sad about her demise, I am very grateful for this book so full of wisdom and generosity.

**********

"Gemwood" by Marwin Bell

"...If parents must receive
the sobbing, that is nothing
when put next to the last crucial fact
of who is doing the crying."

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another Important Book by Alice Miller, December 24, 2009

By 

Robert Leverant (USA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: From Rage to Courage: Answers to Readers' Letters (Paperback)

In this publication of her letters to readers, the essence of Alice Miller's wisdom teaching is delivered in a heartfelt and unflinchingly truthful way.
Reading it, a reader might see the dark matter of childhood not just in their personal history and denial of it, but also the basis of the collective madness that is utterly destructive to all life.
Robert Leverant, MFT