How to Raise a Jewish Dog (Paperback)

~ Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary (Author), (Editor), (Narrator)
Key Phrases: inner monologue, basic commands, advanced commands, Five Modes, Four Essential Messages, Situational Martyrdom (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals ? does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound?


The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies. Written (for real) by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, co-authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl.

About the Author

Co-authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, Ellis Weiner has been an editor of National Lampoon, a columnist for Spy, and a contributor to many magazines, including The New Yorker, the New York Times Magazine, and Barbara Davilman is a writer for television and movies. Both live in Los Angeles.

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Little, Brown and Company (September 5, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0316154660
• ISBN-13: 978-0316154666
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #64,479 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Obedience Shmobedience... the way to train a dog is through guilt and conditionally unconditional love, September 29, 2007

By	Larry Mark "editor of MyJewishBooks.com" (nyc) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

In the words of a famous rabbi, we all should strive to be the people that our dogs think we are. And this will help you to train your dog to know how good you are and train you as well.

The authors of "Yiddish with Dick and Jane" have written a more insightful book which can be used to raise dogs, as well as families; for are our dogs not our children? It seems as if there is a rabbinical seminary started in Boca (BCTS: Boca Raton Theological Seminary, serving neo Revisionist Progressive Reform Trans. synagogues), but they figured out that in addition to Tanakh, they were very good at training canines (Barbara's cousin's roommate's sister's boyfriend's therapist turned the authors onto the seminary's success with their dog, Sam).

So..., nu, and how do they train them? And "Why is a Jewish dog different from all other dogs?" In the spirit of Jonathan Segal Chicken, they train dogs the Jewish way. These rabbis teach us that we should tell our dogs how it hurts us when they do the wrong thing, and how we should compare them to other dogs who behave properly in order to guilt them into the proper behavior. Jewish dogs do NOT need dog whisperers. No. With a Jewish dog, loudness and over the top unconditional (sort of conditional) love and doggie treats and scrambled eggs are allowed. Jewish dogs don't get scolded, they get guilted. Most dogs are trained to follow commands and be good dogs. Jewish dogs are trained to be perfect so as not to disappoint those who love them. They are trained to fear lunatics, and be paranoid of those who are not part of the family. Jewish dogs should possess an exaggerated sense of its own wonderfulness.

In addition to tables and so much training information, there are great pictures of dogs and their owners(?), masters(?), Jewish parents(?). There is a listing of pure breeds, mixed and cross breeds and their abilities to be Jewish dogs. Did you know that a German Shepherd-Springer Spaniel mix is a Jerry Springer? Or a St Bernard-Alaskan Malamute mix is a literate Bernard Malamute? (and there so many more).

The authors discuss the inner monologues of owners, conventionally trained dogs and the Jewish trained dog. You will learn so much from these sections and learn to empathize with dogs and others. You will learn that you must be trained just as much as your dog must be trained. You will learn the importance of unconditional love, but also conditional-unconditional love. Remember that a Jewish dog already knows what it is supposed to be trained. You should act accordingly: you should be tentative, with an implied "but" when you say "Good boy/Good girl." And you should say "so, sit" or "nu, sit" instead of just "sit." Remember, some Jewish dogs will try to assimilate and act like other dogs. They are like German Jews, not Russian Jews. It is a natural evolution.

There is so much more in this book. It will keep you entertained and enlightened for weeks, perhaps years. And why not? You will die laughing. (And actually, your dog should know that if it dies, you would die as well.) It includes chapters on diet and exercise, obedience, traveling (traveling by jet is a killer section), aging, and emotional health in addition to just physical health.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars What Are You Whispering About??, October 8, 2007

By	Harry B. Demaio "jaded exec" (Cincinnati OH USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

For those of us who are sick to death with Cesar Millan and his self-serving Whispers, this book is the permanent antidote. Do nor be put off by the faith-related title. We are Italo-Irish Catholics as is our Bichon Frise, Woof. We too know about guilt. We also lived most of our lives in NYC. It helps but is not necessary. This book is an absolute riot to read with pauses at every page to murmur "How true, How true!!" The cover alone is worth the price as are most of the photos. Whether you read it for sheer entertainment or the deep practical advice that pours from its pages, you will not be disappointed. BTW, this might be a perfect bridge to Islamic readers who may see Judaism in a whole new light. It couldn't hurt.

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious to the Tenth Power!, October 11, 2007

By	lilyrose "lily" (dreamland) - See all my reviews

"How to Raise a Jewish Dog" is the funniest book I have ever read. The authors state in the beginning that you don't have to be Jewish to raise your dog Jewish. You also don't have to own a dog, but it will enhance your enjoyment to have one, have had one or want one. It also helps to understand a modicum (schmodicum) amount of Yiddish. But that is also unnecessary. There were times when I was laughing so hard I had to stop reading because I couldn't see the print on the page. If humor is the best medicine, and I truly believe it is, this book should go a long way toward curing just about any ailment.