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Raise Your Glass: Stuck in the Twilight Saga SPECIAL EDITION! [Kindle Edition]

Keith Helinski
2.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Often wonder what it is like from a guy’s perceptive, being stuck in a line between two Twilight fans? This writer does! ‘Raise Your Glass’ is a harmless jab at the Twilight saga buzz.

It might offend some 'Twi-Hards' out there.



"This is really funny. My sister and my friend are on Team Edward and me and my friend's sister are on Team Jacob. We've had countless arguments like this when we're walking home from school. You captured the heated moments between Team Jacob fans and Team Edward fans. Awesome job."

"I've raised my beer to Ron, the next one will be raise in his honor as well. I watched the first Twilight movie and mourn that time lost. I also know what it's like to be forced to do something you don't want to by someone you love."



"I AM one of those crazy Twilight fans, and I appreciated this slice of TwiLife from the put-upon husband's point of view. "Next time you go to the bar, drink to Sir Ron: the man of all men." Cheers to you, Sir Ron. Lit-crazed book girls like me do indeed drag our boyfriends/girlfriends to things like this, so it made me smile."

"Wow... What a man! That woman has a good husband."

"This was hilarious."

Product Details

  • File Size: 65 KB
  • Print Length: 31 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005TA6R3A
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #26,896 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
35 of 40 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Pointless December 26, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Parody? No. A parady is "an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect." If you are looking for that in this book, you are in the wrong place. This is nothing short of a guy complaining for 8 pages.

People fall into one of two categories - they love Twilight or the hate it. Twi-hard fans won't find interest in this because of the anti-twilight slant. Those who hate Twilight won't be interested because it is simply an 8-page whine about the books, the movies, and the people who enjoy them. And, the last thing someone who hates Twilight is going to do is read something else about it.

At eight pages, this "book" isn't worth the 5 minutes it takes to read it.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Waste of Time April 16, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
I downloaded this ebook and found it to be boring and not very thoughtful. Of course I'm a fan of Stephenie Meyer's books: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn so I may be prejudiced.
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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Raise Your Glass- Suck in the Twilight Saga May 16, 2012
By Lizz
Format:Kindle Edition
Pretty Dumb- I was very disappointed that I didn't check for previous reviews.
It has very little to do with actual Twilight Saga information.
It's definitely not even worth it being free. Do not recommend at all!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Neutral but still a fan March 17, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I'm definitely a fan of twilight... but I give everyone their own opinion... I think openly hating on twilight is almost as bad as being loud and obnoxious about how great it is... I think the author of this short book was not quite a hater and simply expressing his opinion..much better than some people do...I even agree with him on some points like that the twilight fans can be obnoxious and annoying... I think he was humorous and good at writing..and overall I liked it... I think it was worth reading.. and I'd like to state one more thing... I don't understand why the die-hard fans would read a book they know is gonna dog twilight..they know it's gonna upset then, and he tells them it will... then they read it anyway... and comment how much they hate it and allthat... seems stupid
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars cool January 19, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
i rewind harry potter and the goblet of fire over and over just to see EDWARD die.that line was funny dont ya think
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Pointless April 30, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I am not writing this because I like Twilight or Stephanie Meyer, I just think that the book itself had no point at all. It basically talked about some dude, doing a favor for his girlfriend by standing in line waiting for one of the Twilight movies. It is basically his rant about how the fans acted and reacted to each other. It is already known that young teenage girls act insane at the sight of Edward or Jacob, just as it was known when boy band groups are in town. My point is that if you are going to waste your time writing something that is to make fun of Twilight, make it better than this.
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7 of 10 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Sorry way of getting people to buy and read the book April 10, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
The guy who wrote this (Keith Helinski) is one of those people who,in my opinion,needs to stop writing if this is all the sense he has.Okay lets just put it this way, this guy is pathetic when it comes to writing a story.If you are a Twilight fan I strongly suggest not to get this book because ITS A WASTE, OF YOUR TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If the writer just happens to see what everybody,especially what Ive written I hope he knows that the next time he writes a complaining book like this, that he needs to man up instead of acting like a little boy that has to watch it everyday. Keith get a life, a good one at that. Thats my advice to you.Okay honey.Peace.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Well... December 28, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
There were several grammatical errors which I find slightly ironic since the author criticizes other commentators for their own errors. The first story was not exactly humorous, but also wasn't as terrible as some of the comments suggested. The small skit however was very pointless and all around vapid. I, myself am not a fan of twilight, but even I can see how some might find this tedious.
By the way, you mentioned the movie The Covenant, you do realize that movie isn't about vampires, right?
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
Kindle book.
Published 2 months ago by T. Davis
5.0 out of 5 stars best
ha i liked it, more reasonable than most some people just make it quite boring to the fact that it has no value to read
Published 8 months ago by Victoria darabos
5.0 out of 5 stars A great jab at the Twilight craz
Loved these short stories that poke fun at the Twilight craze. My kids and I read the first one together and we all laughed and sympathized with Poor Ron. Read more
Published 14 months ago by Theophilus
3.0 out of 5 stars I found it funny
If you can't laugh at the storyline then you are over thinking it just enjoy the humor of it all.
Published 14 months ago by Linda A
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny
Hahaha the negative reviews were hilarious, loved them! The short story was funny, crazy twilight fans are good for a cheap laugh :)
Published 14 months ago by M W
1.0 out of 5 stars meh...
It's not that I hated this book, it was just silly and not worth my time. Yes, I'm a fan. Yes, I laugh at myself and other fans. I just didn't think this was a special story.
Published 17 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Pretty amusing.
Being one of those hard core, obsessed fans myself, I found this to be light hearted and amusing. I've both over heard, as well as been apart of such conversations, and agree with... Read more
Published 18 months ago by Laura Cromwell
3.0 out of 5 stars The first short story was cute, the second one not so much
I enjoyed the actual story "Raise your glass." I though you painted a picture pretty well and you were clear.

The second one was pretty bad, but you admit that. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Just a Teacher
2.0 out of 5 stars It was ok
I didn't really enjoy this book because there were too many reviews and not enough story it's almost like a book full of people's opinions rather than a story
Published 20 months ago by caresia Allen
5.0 out of 5 stars Twilight
I like this book . It is however offensive to the twilight fans being more specific the Jacob Fan and the Edward fans. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Khandra615
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More About the Author

My name is Keith Helinski. I am a prospering, aspiring, and determined writer of sorts. My writing career began in the year, 1998, when I was just a little 7th grader. I started writing short stories for my English class. I even won Young Authors at my school that year. Though there were gaps and periods throughout the years in which I wasn't writing heavily, I don't think I completely stopped writing.

I provided movie/DVD/Blu Ray reviews for over the years (so the pesky negative reviews I get from time to time from Kindle/Nook readers doesn't exactly hurt feelings, since I've had my share of fun bashing other people's work!) So if you Google search me, I am all over the 'net (which has its pros and cons - the cons, you can't erase poorly written reviews from years ago!)

Getting back to my story here, my itch to write short stories again started a couple of years ago. And I haven't been able to scratch that itch since.

I love this job! I love writing. I love jumping around from story to story. I love pushing myself and experimenting to see where I can take my writing (and imagination). I love the freedom of writing, and the ability to write whatever I want. I love learning how to perfect my craft, and improving from my last project. And I love reader's reactions (positive or negative). I love the whole package deal!

Every single author/writer says that there is magic in writing. It's like being on cloud nine: no one can touch you. Sure, the daggers are set at the heart once the creation is out there. But no one can touch you at the very moment you are in that mindset of piecing letters and words together to create a story. It's an escape, an escape from the harsh reality of this gloom-and-doom world, even if you are writing a gloom-and-doom story. It's also a lonely job, which is what I enjoy the most out of it. I am not bothered. My only regret is not having enough time to do this job.


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