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Raising Abel [Paperback]

Carolyn Nash
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (136 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 11, 2011
From KIRKUS REVIEWS
At 38, Carolyn Nash had a good job, no apparent struggles and few conscious regrets--save, perhaps, her weight and her childlessness. She remedies the latter by fostering and then adopting 3-year-old Abel, a victim of unspeakable parental abuse, most of it sexual. The consequences are predictable and agonizing. Abel is charmingly innocent yet uncontrollably violent, and as he grows, so do his PTSD symptoms. He refuses to bathe, he fails in school. Thrown toys become thrown punches, then smashed windshields. Psychiatrists are consulted, police called. Special education, home-schooling, hospitalizations, meds--all resources are tried and exhausted. Yet Nash remains indefatigable, wrestling with her son (literally) and with her inner demons and repressed memories, haltingly revealed in sessions with her therapist. Through the lens of Abel's trauma, Nash peers into her own nightmares--she too feels deformed and unlovable--and learns their sick source. The book is structured almost entirely in short, dramatic episodes, a technique Nash uses skillfully... late in the story, when the troubled teen turns violently on Nash herself... we get a penetrating glimpse into Abel's beating heart, where his triggers, his alienation and his lifelong struggle come into searing focus. Here Nash gives us Abel in full, and we see with our own eyes how the measure of this young man is also the measure of the woman who raised him--with pure, dogged, unrelenting, overwhelming, at times selfish, often desperate, boundless, evergreen love. This was her treatment and her cure. We know it by its common term--mothering."

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Raising Abel + Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care
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Editorial Reviews

Review

KIRKUS REVIEWS

"A woman of remarkable resourcefulness single-handedly raises a troubled child ... to manhood in this intimate and inspiring blog-to-book memoir. A sobering but uplifting tale of love that never gives up; dramatically told, ultimately rewarding."

Amazon reader reviews: "Phenomenal" "inspirational" "exceptional" "beautiful" "funny" "heartbreaking" "hopeful" "heartfelt" "unforgettable" "suspenseful" "touching" "uplifting" "amazing" "gripping"

Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (November 11, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1466499265
  • ISBN-13: 978-1466499263
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (136 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,517,298 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

My first published book, Raising Abel, is the true story of raising my son, who I adopted out of foster care. To protect his privacy, I took the pen name Carolyn Nash. I have kept the name for my fiction because I've found I rather like staying in the background.

Each time someone reads one of my books, it seems like a small miracle. I've written stories for years, never truly believing that they would be read by anyone but family or friends. It's truly an honor when someone chooses one of these books with the name Carolyn Nash on the cover. Thank you, all of you who have, and know that I appreciate it more than I can say.

Customer Reviews

Thanks, Carolyn, for sharing your story. April Walker  |  61 reviewers made a similar statement
This book is very thorough and very well written. Matthew Robertson  |  38 reviewers made a similar statement
I think it will stay with me for a long time. S. Lidderdale  |  24 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
40 of 40 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Begin the Healing November 6, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
There are books you read for entertainment, there are books you read because you ought to, and then there are books you read because you want to understand and because you're willing to be transformed. Raising Abel is one of the latter.

Each day television, the newspapers, and the internet bring us stories about children who have been abused, but the news stories are told in an adult voice in less than 60 seconds. What is it really like for the child? And a question nobody asks, what is it like for the foster and adoptive parents who help the traumatized child heal? In this true story, Ms. Nash offers us the unvarnished truth. She shares the pain and the joy of adopting such a child, and the step-by-step lessons that she learns along the way about her son and about herself. Parts of the book read like a Halloween horror story. I wish they were fiction. Parts of the book read like a mother's primer on love. I am glad they are true.

Though I suspect Ms. Nash would deny it, it is a story of courage, of grace, and of hope. Ms. Nash would undoubtedly say, "I was just being a mother." What a world this would be if there were more mothers like Ms. Nash. Thank you for opening your heart and telling this story, and thank you for giving Abel the love he needed to begin the healing. God bless you both.
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29 of 29 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Having trouble finding the words March 7, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Here's my #1 question: why aren't there MORE books like this? Every single day, pick up any newspaper or visit any news site, and you're likely to read about how so-and-so was arrested for child abuse or neglect--kids starved, kept in dog kennels, locked in rooms, beaten, raped and sodomized--but I think most people see the arrest of a perpetrator as the end of the story. The bad guys are locked away, and all will be rainbows and unicorns for the abused child/children.

Carolyn Nash shows us, first, that abuse is like a tsunami that keeps pushing itself forward through time, but in telling Abel's story, she does so more effectively than any scholarly or merely educational narrative could hope to. You ever wonder about those kids at that group home across town? Stop wondering.

Nash shows us, secondly, what those who bring abused children into their homes (as fosters or adoptees) deal with on a day-to-day basis, and frankly, I think she may actually have minimized how difficult it can be to love and parent a child whose behaviors can be driven by past abuse. In that regard, I think her account of her life so far with Abel shows her to be a person of great inner strength and conviction, a woman who understands that love isn't defined by blood, and the mother many children wish they could have.

EDITED TO ADD: I'm really curious about the person(s) who went through and marked reviews as "not helpful" but didn't provide any commentary regarding why said reviews weren't helpful. Readers--help us be better reviewers. If you think a review is not helpful, leave a few words telling why. Thanks!
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Should be a MUST READ for foster parents November 7, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book is phenomonal and inspirational. It should be a must read for ANY person touched by foster care, child abuse, childhood trauma...Every therapist, social worker, foster parent and doctor should be required to read it. It shows the REAL TRUTH and the REAL BEAUTY in parenting hurt kids. I loved it. Truly.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars inspiring read
Really enjoyed reading this book. So inspiring the way the foster/adoptive mother refuses to give up on her son. So rare despite all of his issues. Read more
Published 2 days ago by S. mehta
5.0 out of 5 stars Transformational Book!
Really liked this book - very touching and inspirational (true) story of one mother's relentless commitment to save her child. Read more
Published 27 days ago by Jill Nurella
5.0 out of 5 stars What makes it wonderful is that it's true
I have always wanted to become a foster parent someday, so I read this because I wanted to see the outcome of raising the boy Abel, and I must say it was what I had hoped for. Read more
Published 28 days ago by Noel M. Rooks
5.0 out of 5 stars Fostering love
I absolutely loved this book. Both my parents and grandparents were foster parents.Caroline Nash proves love conquers all.
I highly recommend this book to anyone
Published 1 month ago by Kristen Martin
5.0 out of 5 stars Mother Love at it's Finest
As an adoptive mom in a less severe but similar situation, I related so completely with this book. This book was honest and brutal and wonderful all at the same time. Read more
Published 1 month ago by KT
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
Very inspiring. Her story is so captivating and i really related to it. I could not put this story down!
Published 2 months ago by L. Rauschenberger
2.0 out of 5 stars Compelling story, but...
This is a compelling story which opens a window to the terrible abuse children have suffered. However it goes slowly with the long conversations with her own therapist. Read more
Published 2 months ago by C. King
5.0 out of 5 stars Stirring book
A couple of times I found myself surprised how quickly I was motoring through the pages. Abel is the centerpiece of the story but there is the author's gradual realization of her... Read more
Published 2 months ago by richwire
5.0 out of 5 stars Carolyn Nash is someone who would understand our life.
I got the book at the recommendation of one of our therapists. She felt it would be a good thing for us to see we aren't alone, and this was validated throughout the entire book. Read more
Published 2 months ago by swvmom
5.0 out of 5 stars A book that touched my heart
I have read Nash's other books and really enjoyed them - her style of writing, her humor, her character development. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Cheryl Stout
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