7 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very good, every parent should read......, October 18, 2003
......and please TURN OFF THE TV !!!
Turn off the TV, turn off the TV and keep them away from video games.
Stop living parallel, individualistic lives. Communicate with each other, talk to your neighbors, KNOW your children through their words, not their acts only.
This book is short, simple, but very explanatory. It'll tell you clearly what to avoid and how you can easily change your lifestyle to make it better for all your family.
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4 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Outdated outclassed, October 2, 2010
I have several disagreements with the author's premises and conclusions.
First, the author is very old. He wants to make claims that the newer generation is worse off than the previous. Yet he views his history through rose colored glasses. If things were so good back in the day, what was the point of the civil rights movement? Should we be admiring the values espoused by that movie 'The Graduate'? Was MADD a mistake? If things are so dangerous now, why is it that all major forms of crime have dropped dramatically and steadily since his day? Also, it was odd that video games, the perennial favorite of haters everywhere, didn't make it to the Preface where he produced his laundry list of grievances. Is it because he doesn't know what they are? And should we bash them all indiscriminately or are we allowed to exclude the educational ones like Brain Age or My Spanish Tutor that have gotten even his generation to play?
Second, the book was written in 1995 so it is a clear attack on Generation X children. Just how applicable is it to 2010? The author is clearly urban because he fears guns. Can we assume he never went hunting, never took a Hunter Safety course and never visited a shooting range? Should we assume that a few problems raised in a few disparate neighborhoods of a few impoverished communities have proliferated all across America pervading wealthy and poor communities alike? Urban, suburban, small town and rural too? Really? Can we cite actual statistics to back this up rather than just studies by institutions of like-minded elderly conducted in isolated urban ghettos?
Third, the author hasn't traveled. You cannot claim that methods of raising children in other countries are better than here without actually going and taking a look. That would require at a minimum, the ability to understand foreign cultures and languages. Citing WHO statistics doesn't cut it. I've made several visits to Thailand, VietNam, South Korea, Japan and Philippines. I can only say this. Methodologies differ. Placing values and making judgments is too restrictive. Many foreign countries follow the European middle ages method where children are treated as miniature adults and allowed to observe first hand adult behaviors and decision-making. They cannot challenge, persuade or vote but they are forced to observe. They don't go to their rooms so the adults can talk nor do adult discussions wait until they are asleep. This means, they don't have a childhood in the middle class American definition. Many foreign countries also allow age to trump opportunity. Give a child $20 as a birthday gift and it will not be spent on toys, a good time or invested for a college fund. Instead, it will be confiscated by an adult and used for adult entertainment; often alcohol, cigarettes or prostitution or family finances. Children may sleep in the same bed as their parents. Incest? No, just cultural preference. Sex between parents will be done very quietly after the children fall asleep. Consequently, you won't see porn girls screaming in artificial ecstacy. No psychological studies to determine age appropriateness for games, toys, books, movies, video games, etc. Children watch the same shows as their parents and often wakup with nightmares or interrupt to ask inappropriate questions. Children play with toys or games incorrectly because they don't quite understand them yet. Are children playing with neighborhood children indiscriminately or are their choices limited to an endless parade of cousins, neices, nephews, uncles and aunts because the culture doesn't yet value planned families but also doesn't trust anyone outside the clan? Marriages are really partnerships with a clan such that financial responsibilities are automatically extended beyond the needs of the immediate family?
Fourth, the author ignores progress. The pill is no longer one single powerful dose that works for some but unhinges many. Remember Roe vs. Wade? What community is without a Planned Parenthood center? Remember Dr. Koop urging children to learn about sex in schools and schools distributing condoms? Remember President Clinton weakly dodging charges of oral sex from Monica Lewinsky and her talk show tour where she openly bragged about it? Remember the trophy sperm-stained dress? How many states now allow girls as young as 15 to engage in sex, get pregnant, choose not to carry the baby to term then have an abortion without informing their parents? Has the rate of divorce increased since the author's day? People no longer tolerate bad behavior from spouses. How many states allow no-fault divorce as if marriage is as simple as renting a car at the airport? How many people do you know personally that divorced not because of partner abuse of addictive substances, unemployment, gambling, longterm illness or debilitating injuries? ie. problems of the author's day. Isn't it far more common to divorce because someone wants to relocate for a new job, has a partner unwilling to accept the commitments of someone's career choice, met someone cuter, met someone more virile, met someone more seemingly interesting, suddenly decided that the current situation required too much effort or responsibility or just wasn't fun, decided that getting tied down denies one an opportunity to play the field? ie. problems of the modern day. What about women in the workplace? Feminism has all but eliminated the secretary secretly doing her boss or the receptionist employed only until she gets married. Women hold the same positions as men in practically every industry. Is she working late to get that promotion or just having an affair with her coworker because he's more fun than her stable, loyal, responsible husband who refused a promotion in order to spend more time with the kids that he will lose access to as soon as they divorce? If people are really impoverished now because one chooses divorce leading to a one income over two, why are they getting labeled as victims? Isn't that really a personal choice? Sure it's sad when sex occurs between children and the step-parent but again, isn't marriage and raising a family the type of decision that requires more thought than placing an order for take-out at a fastfood restaurant drive-thru? Modern people take relationships for granted. Why was viewer response to One Hour Photo and The Break-Up so tepid? Remember when divorces occurred in civil courts? How many counties now host separate buildings labeled family court? How many court cases are about child custody and parenting rather than just the divorce itself?
Many things have changed since the book was published in 1995. For example, there is globalization. Just how hard was it to compete in the marketplace back in the day when almost all industrialized countries had been bombed into the stone age? Is it bad that one needs to attend college now, even graduate, learn a 2nd or 3rd language and commit to travel as part of employment or is it challenging? Is it really unfair when foreign consumers insist that we provide product directions in local languages and adapt our Yankee ingenuity to solve their local problems rather than creating American products designed for American problems and throw them over the wall demanding that they be grateful to receive them? There's smaller families. People have learned to read, develop hobbies or simply changed their preferences from must raise a family to wouldn't want children if you put a gun to my head or I'm good-looking and curious to see just how long I can sleep around without having to accept responsibility and make a commitment. If people get sexually transmitted diseases or don't save for retirement, at what point do we stop labeling them as victims and accept the fact that they are making conscious decisions to live their lives different from the Ozzie and Harriet scripts that others were taught as a norm? Just how popular was 'American Pie' and 'Sex in the City'? There's the Internet. Online flirting, online dating, cybersex and porn at the click of a button have given us new challenges. Join a social networking website and receive a daily or weekly email of 25 cute singles just waiting for you to interact or so the myth goes. Remember when spam filled up your mailbox and just viewing it caused porn displays to pop up all over your computer screen embarassing you in front of your colleagues. There's cell phones. Now when you are single and attempt to date a stranger, you can choose between getting an email address (go away), a screen name (I'm taken but willing to flirt), a cell phone (I'm taken but willing to have an affair) or a home phone and commitment to meet for a date(I'm single and interested in getting to know you too). When she won't give her number but calls you from a blocked number at 2:30am using her boyfriend's phone while he is outside smoking, how stable will that new relationship be? More importantly, what are her real intentions? Has her spouse or boyfriend called you back asking to know who this is? Has her significant other called during your date so she turns away from you to take the call in hushed tones, then acts as if it didn't happen? There is tolerance for alternative lifestyles. Most gay men or women do not raise children. Do we still fear allowing them in leadership positions over children such as the Boy Scouts or have we finally learned to not confuse them with pedophiles, sado masochism and children who never cut the apron strings hence were never able to marry themselves? There's tolerance and even acceptance of addictive substances. Remember the Betty Ford clinic? Ever watch Dr. Drew on Loveline? Now we have celebrity rehab. How many states want to legalize marijuana because of its perceived lack of danger?
What about autism and ADD and informing the teacher of...
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