65 of 72 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Expect more from your children!, June 15, 2008
This review is from: Raising Godly Tomatoes (Paperback)
Perhaps I have a unique perspective and can add to this conversation. I grew up in an average Christian home. Growing up, I went to public school, followed by college and law school. I am now 27, married, with a one-year-old of my own. (I say all that to distinguish myself for those who think this book is just for fundamentalist Christian women whose only goal in life is to be married with babies.)
My sister happened to befriend some of Mrs. Krueger's children online while we were in high school; that's how I became acquainted with her website and her family. I have long been a fan of her common sense methods and selfless devotion to raising loving children in a peace-filled and joyful home. Reading her site (where you can find almost the whole text of the book) inspired both my sister and I to believe that having many children, while a lot of hard work, is not only possible, but rewarding and fun!
The book simply describes the method she developed for raising her 10 children. She uses the metaphor of 'tomato staking' to explain it. If tomatoes are not fixed properly to a stake, they grow unruly and tangled on the ground and their fruit rots. Similarly, children must be guided toward the right choices on a constant basis while they are young. As they grow older, they are then equipped to make wise choices for themselves.
Probably the most controversial of her beliefs are 1) motherhood as a primary purpose, 2) separation, and 3) "spanking."
Mrs. Krueger sees strong support in the Bible for the idea that the primary calling of women who have children is to be a great mother. She admonishes women not to let their mothering slack at the expense of *anything* else. While no one would refute this idea on this forum, it might make women who have to (or choose to) work outside the home feel badly.
She advocates "separation" to prevent TV, movies, friends, books, and any other influences from undoing the principles you're trying to instill in your children. While she does home school her children, she doesn't preach home schooling. I must confess, I agree with her on this point. I live in a very liberal and secular part of the country where my elementary-school-aged children are virtually guaranteed to be confronted with homosexuality and rebellious mindsets that I don't think they should be expected to confront until they're at least 13 or 14.
Also, her children play freely on the internet and socialize regularly with other families. They also frequently go out to eat. I don't know her family personally, so I'm not able to comment much, except to say that they are not "separated from the world" in the way that many reviewers seem to suggest.
With regard to spanking, Mrs. Krueger advocates training your child to obey you from the early age of 8-10 months. She specifically instructs parents to wait until you recognize that the baby UNDERSTANDS what you're saying and is CAPABLE of doing what you ask. She recommends a "mild swat to a diapered bottom" just to get their attention. (Not to hurt them or discipline them!) I have personally seen this work very effectively with my son. He is now very attentive to a "serious tone" of voice and we rarely need to swat him anymore.
I don't recall whether she ever mentioned spanking older children, although I don't doubt that she would. The point is that if you train them to obey while they're young, you won't *need* to spank when they're older.
What I've taken from the book is that you can set a high standard of behavior for your children. Discipline and rules shouldn't be paramount in a Christian home--they only provide a solid foundation on which to build a fun, loving, and joyful family.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
102 of 118 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
"Bound" by Common Sense, June 2, 2008
This review is from: Raising Godly Tomatoes (Paperback)
Please forgive the play on words... I couldn't help myself.
I found Mrs. Krueger's book both sensible and balanced. The simple premise is, "Keep children in sight and/or ear shot until you can fully trust them out of sight and/or earshot." While not exactly a complicated concept, it is quite revolutionary in today's parenting climate.
When you think about it, the concept is simple common sense. If children are to learn how to behave and what is and isn't acceptable behavior, we must be near them in order to demonstrate proper behavior and nip improper behavior in the bud.
I was surprised by several of the reviews. To read what some had to say, you'd think we read entirely different books. Mrs. Krueger encouraged parents to be reasonable, consistent, and most of all, loving! There is no pressure to isolate ourselves from everyone around us and where anyone got that idea, I cannot fathom! There is no encouragement to physical harshness of any kind. While Mrs. Krueger does not discourage corporal punishment, she certainly does NOT encourage the use of it on whim or for simple childishness. What is advocated in this book is, as the title says, "occasional" and obviously (if you actually read how she encourages constant loving interaction) nothing extreme or excessively harsh.
While I think the change would be initially difficult for both parent and child, embracing the simple principles of togetherness with your children and the consistent discipleship of their character will certainly foster close and loving relationships. I recommend that readers find Mrs. Krueger's website by the same name and read excerpts from the book and make an intelligent decision based upon rational assessment rather than overly dramatic misinformation.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
69 of 80 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book is not about spanking!, June 3, 2008
This review is from: Raising Godly Tomatoes (Paperback)
I was dismayed to read some of the very negative reviews. While this book does mention spanking, it is only a tool the author uses. In our culture many children are raised by people other than their parents, by being shuffled out the door at 7:30 a.m. not to return home until 5:30 from an after school program, to watch TV and play video games until bed time. This would have "once upon a time" been considered neglect. When you can go into the store and by a frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwich for your kids because you are too busy to unscrew the lid of the peanut butter jar yourself, something is seriously wrong. If you do your research, neglect can be just as devastating as abuse. Thank goodness for someone who takes the time to remind us we should raise our own children. One swat (never given in anger, as the author asserts) on a fully clothed diapered bottom by a parent who is devoting his or her full time concern to their child can hardly be defined as abuse in anyone's book. The author even devotes a section on how to use these principles without using any form of spanking for those who may be bothered by the concept or experienced abuse themselves---so to polarize the book as being about spanking is simply erroneous. This is such a no frills, commonsense, loving real life approach (no bribing, no emotional baggage)that many people will have wished their parents read the book when they were younger.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
