Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child [Paperback]

Burton L. White (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 1, 1995

REQUIRED READING FOR PARENTS WHO WANT TO GIVE THEIR CHILD THE BEST START IN LIFE

Must your charming five-month-old turn into a tiny terror? Are the "terrible twos" and public tantrums inevitable? Burton White, author of the classic The First Three Years of Life, doesn't think so. Basing his recommendations on thirty-seven years of research and observation, White shows how to bring up an independent, socially secure, and delightful child.

In his groundbreaking and easy-to-follow book, White takes parents through the normal development stages of their child's first thirty-six months, recommending the best ways to:

• React to a child's intentional cry
• Cope with stranger anxiety, separation anxiety, and sibling rivalry
• Manage unacceptable behavior without causing emotional harm to a child or damaging the parent/child relationship
• Handle challenging sleep situations, calm a cranky newborn, and deal with the toddler's fine art of the whine

All parents who want a peaceful, loving relationship with their child instead of a constant emotional tug-of-war will find that Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child is the one book that must have a place on their shelf.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

According to White (The First Three Years of Life), director of the Center for Parent Education in Newton, Mass., disciplinary problems during the "terrible twos" are not inevitable. After spending nine years observing young children in their homes, he concludes that many difficulties-testing parental authority, refusal to share toys with playmates, etc.-can virtually be eliminated if parents are not overly permissive with children of more than five months old. Although White is obviously knowledgeable about child development, he does not factor in such environmental influences as divorce. Parents will want to try some of his recommended techniques, many of which are sound and readily implemented, but they would do well not to expect miracles. Illustrations. Psychotherapy Book Club alternate; author tour.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

Sound but timeworn advice on how not to create a two-year-old brat from popular author White (A Parent's Guide to the First Three Years of Life, 1980). The terrible twos don't have to be, claims White. No, there is a snake in the garden and its name is overindulgence: Spoil the one-year-old, and the two-year-old will just be a bigger, meaner version. Parents may find solace in some of the stories of really diabolical two-year-olds, but don't expect to find forehead- slapping, why-didn't-I-think-of-that suggestions from the good doctor--his recommendations have seen a few seasons come and go: Don't let your child become bored, keep him amused; set limits so that your child knows her place; make sure that punishment is appropriate to the child's age; don't be overly accommodating or rush to console after every minor mishap. As is often the case in books on parenting and child care, advice on how to deal with problems goes aggravatingly halfway. For example, if your child wakes up at 3:00 a.m. and demands to get out of bed, White suggests singing a short ditty explaining that it's time for sleep. Nice, but what next if the child doesn't buy the offered goods? Banishment for the child? Earplugs for the folks? White has nothing more to say on the topic, or on what course to take after the 15th unsuccessful timeout, or how to handle a tantrum when ``distancing'' doesn't do the trick. White leaves the reader with the impression that there are two classes of two-year-olds and the choice is yours: the hellion, a life-wrecking barbarian of your own making; and the berkind, full of humor, imagination, and originality, a young boulevardier ready for cafe society. What about the other 95%? (Author tour) -- Copyright ©1994, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Touchstone (August 1, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684801345
• ISBN-13: 978-0684801346
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #55,091 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #92 in Books > Crafts, Hobbies & Home > How-to & Home Improvements > Home Repair

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I am so glad I found this book!!!!, October 1, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child (Paperback)

I have the nicest toddler I know, get compliments all the time on how reasonable and well behaved, confident and happy he seems to be, and I think that the advice in this book has been very important in achieving this so far.

This book only deals with children up until 3 years old, since that is the age range the author's research covered. The advice is based on years of in-home observation of many many families, watching babies develop through the first few years of life, so it isn't just the opinions of a pediatrician, or a parent, or an educator. The parenting practices he recommends are the ones that they saw work over and over in many different real families.

This book advises some very simple straightforward tactics, and advises you to stick to them over and over and over again, since a normal healthy child will test you over and over again to see if you will cave in, and how much power s/he has. You don't need a lot of options, you just need to stick to a few that work, and in my experience (with a willful kid, who was not a placid baby!), these work very well without making the child discouraged or inhibited in bad ways.

And, he didn't make me feel at all guilty, I wasn't bored by the writing, and I didn't find it hard to look things up - the book is organized by age stages, so you can just look at the chapter that covers the age your child currently is.

Another thing - his recommendations on toys and entertaining a baby are the best I've seen. He makes simple cheap toy recommendations, tells you what a baby really wants to be doing during each phase, and made it much easier for me to keep my son entertained!

29 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars not for those who read "Parents" magazine, December 5, 1999

By 

Ruth Anne Cresenzo - See all my reviews

This review is from: Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child (Paperback)

I am giving this book as shower gifts to all of my pregnant friends. Many of the books you read today regarding parenting children would lead you to believe that children who are bratty and spoiled just woke up like that one day. Dr. White believes that children have the ability to begin manipulation beginning at around age 5 months, and through experience, I know this is the case. I have been using Dr. White's suggestions and have found that although my child will throw "tantrums" every blue moon (she is two) - they only last a minute, never take place in public, and she knows that what Mama and Daddy says goes and that is that. Not a book for those parents who rationalize unruly behavior with the newfound assumption of the last 20-30 years that children are just "expressing themselves" when they lie on the floor in the Wal-Mart because Mama or Daddy wouldn't let them have some M &M's.

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Works!, February 10, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child (Paperback)

I bought this book when my son was 4 months old. He is now 4 years old and he has had about one tantrum for each year of his life. Throughout toddlerhood (including the "terrific twos"), people - even strangers - have told me what a wonderful, delightful, well-behaved child my son is. In fact, one single friend of mine told me she never wanted kids and my son is the only child she has ever met that made her think she might be missing something. And most importantly, my son is almost always very happy...he is delightful! I highly recommend this book...but BOTH parents must utilize the methods in the book, or results will not be as good.