Customer Reviews

Raising Kids Who Can Protect Themselves

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Being the father of a grade 2 boy, this book was of significant interest to me. My son is more fearful than intrepid, and the descriptions of "courage lesson" sounded like just what we needed.

After finishing this book, I came away with several useful notions, but also with some very grave concerns. Normally, I don't bother reviewing books, but this one motivated me to do so. I want other parents to know what they are getting into with this book.

First, the positive elements. This book does an excellent job of enabling parents to help kids overcome fear, and to react quickly in an emergency. It teaches a simplified version of autogenic or circular breathing, also known as "tactical breathing" that is a proven method of overcoming adrenaline induced stress response, and is taught to military and law enforcement personnel. It provides many ways of building courage in everyday activities. This book also does an excellent job of stressing the importance of a vocal response to aggression, both as a means of unlocking a potential "freeze" response and channeling aggression towards the attacker. The book presents a simplified colour code of situational awareness, and of mental state during a defence situation.

Where this book causes me great concern is the insistence on teaching young / smaller children to use a potentially fatal technique to disable attackers (throat strikes to crush/collapse the larynx). I have no sympathy for child molesters, and, frankly, hearing that a 9-yr old had killed a man who was trying to stuff him into a van would cause me great rejoicing. I totally agree with the author's tactical reasoning for advocating this method: a child needs to overcome a huge body size disparity, and needs a simple, easy technique that can reliably incapacitate a much bigger person. But frankly, and I speak as a gun owner and shooter here, to me this is like getting your 10-yr old his own pistol and carry permit. I don't think that even an adolescent has the impulse control to not use this technique if they get really arenalized during a schoolyard dust-up. Teaching a lethal technique is to me the same as trusting them with a lethal weapon. And one that cannot be taken away afterwards. I'm not an expert, but based on some courses I have attended, I would rather teach a child to strike / poke / gouge eyes instead. Even having a grain of sand in your eye can be incapacitating. And it's not fatal. Parents who buy this book must make this decision before they start implementing the lessons, and be aware of potential implications.

The second major reservation I have with this book is that they teach children, when threatened with a knife, to grab the blade with their hands. This is, in the opinion of all my defencive and martial arts instructors, a huge mistake. It does little in deflecting blows, and can cause injuries that can result in permanent loss of dexterity in the hand. It is far better to sustain cuts to the back of the hand or forearm than to the palm or inside of the wrist, where bigger blood vessels run. I have been told by some seriously lethally trained instructors that they would themselves try at all costs to flee from a knife wielding attacker. This book does children a big harm by suggesting they try to grab a knife.

The reason I gave this book three stars it that I would still, with the two above major reservations, recommend it to parents, but ONLY on the understanding that parents must, knowingly, from an informed perspective, decide what parts of it they will teach their children.

Debbie and Mike Gardner have written an absolute "must read" for parents. "Raising Kids Who Can Protect Themselves" is the best parenting book I've read in recent years. A fascinating page-turner, the Gardners' book is written in a simple-to-follow format filled from cover to cover with life-saving instruction. It doesn't matter if your children are toddlers or teens; this is a book worth much more than its purchase price. I have been recommending "Raising Kids Who Can Protect Themselves" to family, friends, neighbors and co-workers. In fact, I plan to give copies as Christmas gifts! L.C. (mother of 16-year-old daughter and 14-year-old son)

How do you prepare a child for the danger of daily living and still raise a confident human being? You read this book. I thought I'd read everything available on self-defense for children so I was stunned to stumble across this treasure. Most books have a good tip or two in them but few are practical, and some are downright dangerous. This is the first I've found that offers a parent a complete process for raising a strong and safe child.
This book won't give you statistics or the details of predator psychology - vital information for parents - but you can read up on those separately. Meanwhile, don't skip the small stuff. There are powerful messages tucked into single paragraphs in this book. I disagree with the author in only one area - the need for long-term physical self-defense instruction - but understand his concern because of the lack of practical application to real-world scenarios in most martial arts schools. Real self-defense schools are difficult to find... so read this book! I recommend this for parents of children ages 3 to 16.

Also recommended: 'Child Lures' by Kenneth Wooden. 'Protecting the Gift' by Gavin de Becker. 'Raising Safe Kids in an Unsafe World' by Jan Wagner. "Gun-proof Your Children" by Ayoob.

This book covers everything from teaching children to protect themselves from bullies, among their peers, to protecting themselves from dangerous adults. It gives specific examples and language parents can use to empower their children. It also provides techniques for teaching children in set age groups. Arming our children with courage and tools to protect themselves is a necessity. I plan to give a book to each family in my circle of loved ones.

As a father of 4, I am very concerned with teaching my children to be safe. This book has some very good advice and teaching methods to help. While I do not agree with everything, it is overall, a very good book to buy for help with this important mission.

This book does not deliver exactly what the title implies. It relies on bribery for your child to do what you want. I agree with rewarding appropriate behavior but this book takes it to far.