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Raising My Rainbow: Adventures in Raising a Fabulous, Gender Creative Son Paperback – September 3, 2013
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From Publishers Weekly
Praise for Lori Duron’s Raising My Rainbow
"Heartwarming, though wrenching…what makes Raising My Rainbow fresh and enjoyable is Duron’s utter lack of pretension.”
—New York Times Book Review
“A powerful book at the right time.”
—Andy Cohen, author of Most Talkative
“Lori Duron, a writer of extraordinary generosity, has given us a guide to parenthood both gentle and revolutionary. Raising My Rainbow is a valuable resource not only for parents of gender-nonconforming children, but for readers everywhere who seek the courage to stand up for the ones they love. Fierce, wise, and illuminating.”
—Jennifer Finney Boylan, author of She’s Not There and Stuck in the Middle with You.
“Because of Lori's courage, there is now an answer when searching how to parent a child who is gender fluid, gender non-conforming, transgender, gay or whatever label you use. This book is a wonderfully authentic read that will bring depth, joy and understanding to parents, extended families and anyone seeking to learn how parents can and do love gender creative children. To acceptance!”
—Cheryl Kilodavis, author of My Princess Boy
"[S]mart and witty...first-of-its kind...a frank, funny, feminist book."
“[A]n optimistic and delightful memoir… Duron’s call for compassion should be heeded by educators, caregivers, and neighbors—an open heart, a desire to listen and learn, and a willingness to accommodate go a long way in doing well by someone who differs from your expectations.”
—Publishers Weekly, starred review
“A heartfelt examination of raising a boy who wants to be a girl.”
“It takes a village to raise a child, and it takes a gender creative parent to create a gender creative child. Lori Duron is just one of those parents, and Raising My Rainbow is a must-read for the entire village. Beautifully written, humorous, and deeply open and self-reflective, this book, the first of its kind, gives us a window into a mother’s joys, pain, and courage raising a child who goes against the binary gender grain of our society. This is not only an outstanding book, it is a big step forward in making it a better world for all of us.
—Diane Ehrensaft, Author of Gender Born, Gender Made
"First drawn to Lori's work as an educator and LGBT activist, it was my role as a father that provided the most poignant critical lens for Raising My Rainbow. While nobody has a blueprint for parenting, Lori's compassionate, insightful, and yes, humorous take of raising a "gender creative" child should be required reading for anyone bringing up or working with children."
—Frank Bua, author of Lost and Found, and Board Member, Family Equality Council
“I fell in love with this. Lori Duron has written a very important book, and as an author she is extremely generous in sharing the story of her family and in particular her own journey which made her realize that her job regarding her son is to ‘not change him but to love him’. Duron and her husband and oldest son beautifully rise to every challenge C.J.'s gender creativity presents to them. As a reader, I felt privileged to witness their journey.”
—Lesléa Newman, author The Boy Who Cried Fabulous, Heather Has Two Mommies, and October Mourning
“Lori Duron has painted an exquisite picture of the complex journey that is raising a gender diverse child. In chronicling her family’s transformation from confusion, to fear, to acceptance and ultimately fierce pride, she has provided an unwavering celebration of her child's gender self-determination. Not just a book for families with gender nonconforming children, Raising My Rainbow is wonderful resource for all parents committed to honoring children for who they are.”
—Joel Baum, Director, Education and Training, Gender Spectrum TM
“Laugh-out-loud funny, tug-at-the-heartstrings moving, and thoroughly thought provoking, Raising My Rainbow is a must-read for anyone who has ever worried that their child—or a child that they know—might be perceived as ‘different from’ or ‘other than.’”
—Jody M. Huckaby, Executive Director, PFLAG National
Top Customer Reviews
I started elementary school in the '50's and two of my middle school years were also spent in the same decade. Late bloomer that I was, I didn't even know that "gay" behavior existed. When I was a bit older and learned that gender is a lot more "fluid" than I thought, it was almost traumatic. Also, I was raised in a spiritual tradition where it was highly frowned upon to act like a member of the opposite sex. Of course, with more years and maturity I learned a lot of things, and to be honest, my personal jury is out about many things I used to think were strictly no-no.
The author shares about her experience with her son C.J, who saw himself as a boy but enjoyed "girl things" and gravitated to princess toys, Barbies, Hello Kitty as well as the color pink. (Gender non-conforming) She shows a fascinating little person in C.J. All things considered, he manages to make friends and enjoy life. Most importantly, she decides to accept her boy exactly as he is, even though it isn't always easy.
By far the hardest part of it is the teasing and ridicule from other children as well as hostility in the outside world. But Lori Duron handles it well, as I am sure she continues to do. It's worth the price of the whole book just to read about the action she took to stop the bullying of her older son (not C.J.) who was being teased unmercifully about his younger brother.
Gender identity is a hot topic right now, and I think this book would be beneficial for anyone to read whether you agree or disagree with the author. The concluding chapter is extremely thought provoking, and it's tempting to copy it all down here.Read more ›
It's one thing to say and think you are open minded on a subject. But to feel that way when you truly try to walk in someone else's shoes - that's something else entirely.
The author, Lori Duron, is very detailed in her description of life raising a "gender-nonconforming" child. The struggles she and her husband go through as they become aware of C.J.'s preferences for "girl stuff", his desire to wear makeup and dresses, the day to day reality of having a son who causes people to stop and stare (and worse) really stopped me in my tracks. I pictured my son at 3, 4, 5 asking for and doing those things. He did play with a doll for a while, a boy doll, and I cringe as I remember feeling proud of myself for being so accepting. He only played with it for a few months, and then my son continued on the traditional "all boy" path. So as I read this, I pictured the reaction, the physical, visceral reaction my husband and I would have had if he'd been more like C.J. It would have been hard, really hard. I'd like to think I would have been as fiercely supportive and protective as Lori, but this book made me really think about that.
"Raising a gender-nonconforming child can be excruciatingly lonely, a tear-worthy existence that we walk through and try to shield our children from.Read more ›
Whether you agree - or not- with the way C.J. Is being raised, you will find an inspirational and sometimes heartbreaking story of raising a child to be who he/she is, regardless of societal expectations. The journey of the family is very touching, and the parental development is as intriguing as they are.
Not a hippie book. Definitely one to help us all learn to break through boundaries and accept and love one another, as we were intended.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This book has it all from being a well written page turner full of humor & a tear or two to laying out the ups & downs of having a gender nonconforming child. Read morePublished 6 months ago by J. Paige Goodlett
I bought for myself and so many of my colleagues and clients have requested to read once I'm done. It's a great resource.Published 6 months ago by Megan A Wych
I enjoyed the book. It helped me to remember that we all add color to the world.Published 7 months ago by Heather H.
Wow!!!! I'm not sure where to begin my review ... Lori took a huge leap of faith when she embarked on this journey and I can only imagine the lives she is touching. Read morePublished 7 months ago by LamourReader
Great book. A must read for parents and people who are non-conforming. It's also a great book for teachers. Read morePublished 7 months ago by Georgia Carter
Amazing read! Even if this is not a topic you are familiar with (as I was not) it is a great way to get an understanding and walk in the shoes of a mother with a very colorful... Read morePublished 8 months ago by Evelyn
Lori Duron and her family have a gender-nonconforming son, C.J. and this book is their story. If you have followed Duron’s blog, then this book is a good accompaniment. Read morePublished 11 months ago by DabOfDarkness
Loved this story of a mom coming to understand her child's orientation to life and how to best love and advocate for the many sides of this delightful child!Published 11 months ago by M. N. Helminski