Customer Reviews

Raising Resilient Children : Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I just had the pleasure of hearing author, Robert Brooks speak at our school about nurturing sef-esteem and resilience in our children. I found his parent friendly book to have the same warm tone that he conveys in person. His lessons and opinions are documented with true case studies and anecdotes from his professional career and peppered with a welcome sense of humor. I am learning to be a more authoritative parent with the specific, practical guidance offered in this book and I see a definite positive change in the way we as parents are communicating with our children. This book has been the key tool in helping us empower our grade school children (10 and 12) with a better attitude towards adversity. If you have toddlers or preschoolers (2's, 3's, 4's, & 5's), we also highly recommend "The Pocket Parent" as a very compatible guide to "Raising Resilient Children". Both books view "Discipline" and "Punishment" as very different procedures and both offer many positive strategies to communicate and discipline (teach children right from wrong) WITHOUT yelling, bribing, nagging, threatening, criticising and punishing. The authors of both books feel we often spend too much time remediating the weaknesses of our children and not enough time identifiying their strengths and seeing that they have ample opportunities to succeed in what they are passionate about and good at. Both authors believe that it is not only important what you need to say to your children, but HOW you choose to say it that can make the difference. We recommend both "RAISING RESILIENT CHILDREN" and "THE POCKET PARENT" for home and school libraries for parents.

The authors, both clinical psychologists and professors, state ten principles which they believe lead to "resilience" in children. Resilience is defined as "the ability of a child to deal more effectively with stress and pressure, to cope with everyday challenges, to bounce back from disappointments, adversity, and trauma, to set clear and realistic goals, to solve problems, to relate comfortably with others, and to treat oneself and others with respect" (p. 1)

These ten principles are "idealized" child "mindsets," which parental behavior supports. The authors do not criticize parents for not supporting their children all the time. Instead, they give numerous suggestions and examples of what a parent can do to improve their communication with their children.

The tone of this book is "talky" and easy to read. Perhaps 2/3rds of the examples are about children; the rest, adolescents. Almost all examples come from the authors' extensive psychotherapy and family therapy practices.

I have some quibbles with the logic of some of their conclusions, but, in general, parents will find this an easy and helpful read. Although the topic of "resilience" is a part of the newly emerging field of "social-emotional learning" (SEL), educators will find this book harder to use. The children in the examples attend schools, but there is no description of how to implement a resilience curriculum.

The authors also publish a workbook, "Raising resilient children: A curriculum to foster strength, hope, and optimism in children." This workbook is tied to a video that the authors have produced (but which is not sold with the workbook; the video must be ordered from the publisher and I have not seen it on Amazon.com). This workbook provides exercises with which they can build the competence to support their children. This workbook also gives the gist of their argument, and teaches parents directly how to implement the skills to support their child.

As an occupational therapist and mom of a child with a unique learning style, this book has helped me articulate abstract thoughts that help children, in real time, with real issues, succeed. Parents find the book's ideas profound but the tone simple enough to easily implement. As a therapist, I find ideas to integrate into treatment and to help me explain to parents their role in supporting their child's ultimate success or failure. I think families would be so much more successful if this were required reading before they brought their bundles home from the hospitals.

The new book Raising Resiliant Children should be the first stop on your next trip to the bookstore. Through almost 100 personal antecdotes Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein explain concepts of resiliecy and why it is important for our children. The book is an invaluable resource for parents because not only does it alert readers of obstacles, but offers guide-posts and solutions to even the most difficult of family situations. One of the book's strongest attributes is its optimistic attitude and coherent style. Through wise eyes the authors strike a chord with parents around the world. I strongly reccomend this book to anyone who has interest in America's youth, and I look forward to Dr Brooks and Dr Goldstein's next project.

This curriculum workbook springs from Goldstein's and Brooks' book, Raising Resilient Children, which (for some reason I do not know) is no longer available through Amazon.com (you would have to buy it used). (Perhaps the authors are planning a second edition?)

This is a 9-week course covering: (1) Teaching and conveying empathy; (2) re-writing negative scripts; (3) Discplining in ways that promote self-discipline and growth; (4) Making decisions, solving problems; (5) loving children in ways that help them feel special and appreciated; (6) learning from mistakes; (7) Expecting success, "islands of competence"; (8) hope and courage.

It is accompanied by a video tape (not available from Amazon.com) but which would be good for persons planning parent groups or in-service for teachers.

The age-group that the authors write about is children, but with some modifications (especially with discipline) it could be applied to adolescents.

This book is an easy beginning to the practical aspects of resilience education. It is graphically good looking and substantively good.

The authors Brooks and Goldstein are obviously aware of the challenges that face parents with ADHD and ODD children. This is evidenced by their list of recommended reading. Too often, the discourse of ADHD and ODD is negative. Brooks and Goldstein challenge parents to think of the talents and "islands of competence" of their children. Such reframing is a breath of fresh air. The authors provide many suggestions on how to encourage children and develop their self-esteem. My only regret with the book was when I came to the last page. I wanted to keep on reading!

I must say I'm tempted to give away every single other parenting book I own. This book is the first book to ever "speak" to me. I've spent some time trying to figure out why this book touched me so much. It hit me - resilience is the BIG picture - I CAN operate and understand the big picture and then apply it to my life as a parent. I've spent most of my life as a parent searching for solutions to the little picture problems which change daily and spontaneously. I was never ready.

Reading Dr. Brooks' philosophy made me want more than ever to adequately prepare my children for the joys and upsets of life and in two short weeks I'm beginning to feel prepared to do so. In the moments of chaos I feel more connected to the long term and my parenting has changed. Funny how my heart seems to have grown for our two adorable kids as well.

I think that this book is fabulous. The advice is definately top rate. They have examples from their practice to show how their theories work and how they could be helpful for you. I highly recommend this book. I checked this out at the library and then bought a copy, because I know I will be refering to this book again and again.

I would recommend this book to any mother but especially mother's of young children who feel their kids or their lives with their kids aren't what they imagined they would be. This book helps you love the child you've got without any "but if you'd onlys." This book shows you the possibility of unconditional love and appreciation for your child that can be mixed with guidance and strengthening support.

This tended to be an average book about parenting with basically good ideas, but surprising weak in dealing with childhood crises that call upon resilience. As a parent whose child had gone through a traumatic experience, it failed to provide the type of support necessary for the challenging times in parenting.