Raising a Self-Disciplined Child: Help Your Child Become More Responsible, Confident, and Resilient [Hardcover]

Dr. Robert Brooks (Author), Sam Goldstein (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 18, 2007

"Hands-on, caring advice to make your child gratifyingly, skillfully independent."
--Kirkus Reviews

Learn to raise a self-disciplined child is confident, independent . . . and happy.

Raising a Self-Disciplined Child is the groundbreaking book parents have been waiting for--a remarkably positive approach to a style of discipline that builds children up-from the acclaimed authors of Raising Resilient Children. Filled with realistic, practical strategies and sample scenarios, it shows you how to teach your child, ages 6 through 16, the value of self-control, self-reliance, and self-assurance: the all-important skills that will last him a lifetime.

Praise for Raising Resilient Children

“Practical and clear in its suggestions, direct and supportive in its tone, Raising Resilient Children is the perfect book for parents searching for a caring method to help their children grow into healthy, loving, and mature adults.”
--William Pollack, Ph.D., author of Real Boys

“Brooks and Goldstein help mothers and fathers focus on their child's strengths, not on his or her weaknesses. The result is a happier, more resilient child.”
--Michael Thompson, Ph.D., author of Raising Cain

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Brooks and Goldstein (Raising Resilient Children) note that a key component of resiliency is self-discipline. It's so essential, in fact, that the authors devote their new text entirely to fostering its development in children. They begin by pointing out that discipline is a teaching process. A disciplinarian, they state, is not a parent who punishes or intimidates, and the goal is not to produce compliant, obedient kids. Rather, the objective is to keep children safe, help them learn self-discipline and become responsible for their own actions and choices. The authors reveal that spanking and other authoritarian methods work against this process. As an alternative, they offer a number of approaches parents can take to instill self-discipline and help children appropriately control their own lives, such as offering choices, letting kids come up with solutions and giving positive feedback. The authors employ a series of detailed case studies to illustrate (regrettably, these are tediously heavy-handed and needlessly drawn out). Still, the book provides practical tools for creating healthier families and self-disciplined kids. Parents who are weary of nagging and threatening will no doubt welcome the authors' tried and true tactics. (Sept.)
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About the Author

Robert Brooks, Ph.D., is a psychologist on the faculty at Harvard Medical School. He is an award-winning speaker, author, and educator who has also served as director of the department of psychology at McLean Hospital in Boston.

Sam Goldstein, Ph.D., is a psychologist on the faculties of the University of Utah Medical School and George Mason University. He is also in private practice at the Neurology, Learning and Behavior Center in Salt Lake City and is on staff at the University Neuropsychiatric Institute.

Drs. Brooks and Goldstein have coauthored ten books, including Raising Resilient Children, The Power of Resilience, and Nurturing Resilience in Our Children. Their documentary, Tough Times/Resilient Kids, was a winner at the Chicago Film Festival.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (July 18, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0071411968
• ISBN-13: 978-0071411967
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #681,633 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good philosophy/theory, but not really a parenting guide or resource, July 20, 2009

By 

J. Li "SJ,CA Teacher" (Sunnyvale, CA United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Raising a Self-Disciplined Child: Help Your Child Become More Responsible, Confident, and Resilient (Hardcover)

If you are looking for a step-by-step guide with bullet points and checklists, this is *not* the book for you. In each chapter, there is a lot of good explanation of the "why" behind self-discipline and the components of it, along with a healthy amount of case studies of parents with varying troubles in disciplining their children. At first, the case studies were very interesting, but I did find by the end that they were extremely repetitive. I almost felt like I was reading a manual on how to be a family therapist, not necessarily a better parent. The structure of the case studies were always the same: validate the parents, ask "How would you children describe you? How do you want them to think of you? What are you goals in disciplining your children?", reassure them that they want the process to fulfill the parents' goals, teach the problem-solving method, some examples on how they practiced/anticipation retorts, parents report surprise that the kids were more cooperative, etc.

My son is 2.5 years old, and I was really looking for a resource that would help me lay some groundwork in the earlier years to prevent problems I see in adolescence. While I completely agree with everything in this book and probably would find it valuable if persistent problems pop up when my son is older, this is not the parenting guide I was looking for.

5 stars: good material on self-discipline, why discipline is necessary, some good techniques for building a problem-solving and respectful environment in the home.
4 stars: writing and organization. far too repetitive.
3 stars: not really a step-by-step "help" guide.

average: 4 stars

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The ultimate parenting book, October 9, 2008

By 

Fran S. Hawk "franbooks" (mt pleasant, sc) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Raising a Self-Disciplined Child: Help Your Child Become More Responsible, Confident, and Resilient (Hardcover)

"Self discipline may be more responsible for differences in achievement than any other factor." From "Raising a Self-Disciplined Child" by Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein. The book was written to "help your child (grandchild, student) become more responsible, confident and resilient."
As the mother of four children in four years, I needed help. I read every parenting book I could find. Each one had some useful ideas. "Raising a Self-Disciplined Child" brings together all the best and most important principles. The format is user-friendly.
For each concept, the authors recount the experiences of an actual family. "Take-home messages" are italicized and set apart. Additional recommended reading, references and an index are provided.
Yes, it's a book that addresses children with problems. More important, it's a book that provides a blueprint that will guide parents to prevent problems.
"Children are more likely to listen to adults they perceive as fair, empathic, and respectful than to adults who seem arbitrary, inconsistent and angry." This quote is from the chapter "The Mindset for Effective Discipline" which describes the styles of parenting and explains why the "authoritative" (not to be confused with "authoritarian")
style was proven best by research. There are questions for parents to consider in measuring their own empathy toward their children. There are examples of families and the observation that "insights of children often provide information that can be used to prevent problems."
Other chapters include practical, usable advice on teaching children how to solve problems, how to deal with disappointments, how to learn from mistakes and how to respond when life seems unfair.
Every chapter is excellent, but my favorite is "Encouraging Your Child to Make a Difference." One quote: "Not only should children observe parents engaged in bettering the lives of others, but in addition, from an early age, they should be involved in these kinds of activities themselves."
If you only read one parenting book....let it be this one!

6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Author is Awesome!!!, March 14, 2008

By 

E. Turchan (Los Angeles) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Raising a Self-Disciplined Child: Help Your Child Become More Responsible, Confident, and Resilient (Hardcover)

The author came to speak at our school and found him to be a great speaker. This book is a must for everyone even if you don't have kids of your own. It really gives one a new perpective of understanding children and their personalities. This book teaches one to empower and create resilience amongst children. Absolutely wonderful!