Raising Your Sexual Self-Esteem [Paperback]

Beverly Engel M.F.C.C. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 14, 1995

Despite our seemingly tolerant, nonjudgmental society, sexual concerns are more widespread than ever before. Not only must we address the AIDS epidemic and other sexually transmitted diseases, but unrealistic expectations about body image, performance, and ability plague us as well. Add low self-esteem and it becomes impossible to enjoy the intimacy and exhilaration that come from healthy sexual relations with another human being.

Renowned psychotherapist! Beverly Engel understand the powerful, debilitating effects of low self-esteem and provides insight into its causes, from unspoken negative messages about sex we received as children, to traumatic first sexual encounters, to sexual abuse. With both authority and compassion, she helps you gain confidence, enjoyment, and pleasure in your life. Here are stories form! ordinary people from all walks of life, discussing their sexual issues, illuminating the problems that are so universal. here, too, is the solid, positive help they received from Engel, help that has proven successful in her practice time and again.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Despite our seemingly tolerant, nonjudgmental society, sexual concerns are more widespread than ever before. Not only must we address the AIDS epidemic and other sexually transmitted diseases, but unrealistic expectations about body image, performance, and ability plague us as well. Add low self-esteem and it becomes impossible to enjoy the intimacy and exhilaration that come from healthy sexual relations with another human being.

Renowned psychotherapist! Beverly Engel understand the powerful, debilitating effects of low self-esteem and provides insight into its causes, from unspoken negative messages about sex we received as children, to traumatic first sexual encounters, to sexual abuse. With both authority and compassion, she helps you gain confidence, enjoyment, and pleasure in your life. Here are stories form! ordinary people from all walks of life, discussing their sexual issues, illuminating the problems that are so universal. here, too, is the solid, positive help they received from Engel, help that has proven successful in her practice time and again.

About the Author

Beverly Engel is a nationally recognized psychotherapist and ex therapist with twenty years' experience, as well as a bestselling author. She is the author of The Right to Innocence, The Emotionally Abused Woman, Partners in Recovery, Encouragements for the Emotionally Abused Woman, Families in Recovery, and Divorcing a Parent. She has shared her expertise on Oprah. Donahue, Sally Jessy Raphael, and Ricki Lake. She is the founder of the Center for Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse (CASSA) in Redondo Beach, California. Beverly now lives in Cambria, California.

Product Details

• Paperback: 354 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; 1st edition (March 14, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0449906744
• ISBN-13: 978-0449906743
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #916,524 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Don't waste your money, May 11, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Raising Your Sexual Self-Esteem (Paperback)

This book looks pretty good on the surface -- but only the surface. It might have some good tips for those with extremely low sexual self-esteem -- due to childhood sexual abuse -- but doesn't have specific remedies for those suffering from lowered esteem due to rape, date rape, coersion or just day to day pressures from media, society, and so on.

To make matters worse, Engel takes a critical stance of many alternative sexualities, most notably BDSM, saying that anyone who is into BDSM is acting out of low sexual self-esteem and is only hurting their esteem more by participating in these activities. She also argues that looking at pornographic material does nothing but degrade one's esteem, and that everyone is overweight is that way because of some kind of abuse they suffered in the past. To go even further, she argues that when children see their parents naked, at any time in their lives, it is a form of sexual abuse.

Perhaps this is the product of what happens when a therapist -- whose only exposure to a vast array of sexualities is among clients who are seeking treatment -- draws from her experiences to make generalizations about the general public. Some of her messages are good, but I found too many of them to potentially esteem-damaging to make use of this book.

9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If You've Ever Doubted Yourself, Read This Book!, December 9, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Raising Your Sexual Self-Esteem (Paperback)

This book is excellent! It is well thought-out, easy to read, straight-forward, nonjudgemental, intelligently written, and comprehensive.

Whether you specifically have low sexual self-esteem or not is immaterial. This book is very helpful because it addresses the core problem of low SEXUAL self-esteem, which is low PERSONAL self-esteem. The writer encourages meaningful analysis in the reader as to why we all have certain sexual preferences and dislikes which we might not have previously understood, and why we don't always stand up for our rights, either in a sexual or nonsexual situation.

This book goes way beyond sex. It delves into the experiences and traumas which formed or, more apropriately, have misshapen our childhood/adult personalities and gives the reader the ammunition to effectively deal with the the trauma (which works) instead of running away from or burying it (which doesn't work).

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book on the pyschological aspects of human sexuality, December 12, 2004

By 

John W. Raattama - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Raising Your Sexual Self-Esteem (Paperback)

I found this book to be one of the best and truthfully accurate books on the psychological aspects of human sexual behavior and sexual abuse. Everything she says is accurate and she does it in a non-judgemental way. She is an understanding experianced psychotherapist that has amazing insights. And she is honest and truthful of the ramifications of certain sexual behaviors which rubs some people the wrong way who believe that anything goes in regards to sex. There is information here in her book that is hard to find in other books.