Customer Reviews

Raising Your Child to Be A Mensch

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I am sorry to see that this book is out-of-print. As an advice book for parents and for anyone who has anything to do with children it stands at the head of the pack. Unfortunately these days no awards are given for just being nice and schools no longer teach values, if they ever did. Furthermore, in our multicultural competitive environments there seems to be less of a consensus about what constitutes good, acceptable behavior. In some circumstances well brought up children may be disadvantaged in the schoolyard scene if they don't toughen up, or something of the sort. The book validates right motives and right values and encourages parents and others to make the case. The book is written by a rabbi but it isn't religious.

A mensch is a decent and caring person. There is no pattern or correct formula leading to the desired results. Only parents care about raising kind and courteous children. Our obsession with individualism and self-actualization may have detrimental effects on children. A person is not a mensch in isolation. Cheating in schools has become widespread because making it has crowded out other values. We should wonder why we are so obsessed with high achievement. It is forgotten that child rearing is really child loving. We should not be giving children the message that love is conditioned on accomplishments. Children want to be heard and understood. One cannot be an effective parent if one is frequently gone or uninvolved.

I'm giving this book 5 stars because I find it a worthy topic and I agree with the fundamental concept of the book: that we should raise our children to have integrity, to be kind, caring and decent individuals. The book was written in a compassionate tone, in a narrative (no lists or bullets) with the use of many examples.

But forgive me ... if you are reading this book, you probably endorse the basic principle. So what is it that we are supposed to do as parents, as a society? I walked away pleased that the author had taken the time to cover this very valuable principle, but not as clear on what to do next that wasn't, well, fairly obvious. But still, the book was very grounding and much appreciated.