Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide (Paperback)

by Jeanne S. Segal (Author) "Why doesn't anybody like Lucy Leroy?..." (more)
Key Phrases: emotional muscle exercise, building emotional muscle, active awareness, Becoming Empathic, Daniel Goleman, New York (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
It's not just psychologists who believe that emotional savvy determines personal success far more than an IQ test. Even corporations are hiring consultants to boost employees' Emotional Quotient (EQ), since it's been shown to directly affect teamwork, confidence, and productivity. Emotions can be allies, explains Dr. Jeanne Segal, helping us form loving and meaningful relationships, while making us well-rounded and profoundly intelligent beings. If repressed, they can be our enemies, oppressing us like well-armored dictators. This is a simultaneously confrontational and supportive book--challenging our cultural assumptions about feelings while offering realistic steps and lifestyle suggestions that lead to a higher EQ.

From Library Journal
Emotional intelligence, defined by Daniel Goleman as "abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one's moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope," has been shown to be a powerful predictor of success in life. Following on Goleman's excellent best seller, Emotional Intelligence (LJ 9/1/95), are these two books purporting to provide a program for raising one's own E.Q. and that of one's children. In both cases, the authors state that their work, while relevant to Goleman's ideas, is based on decades of experience. However, Segal's (Living Beyond Fear, Borgo, 1987) book seems to be a rehash of the old gestalt notion that the root of most psychological distress is an inability to feel one's "true" emotions?an unproved assertion that has little relevance to Goleman's definition. Readers interested in Goleman's emotional intelligence will be disappointed?or badly misled?by Segal's book. Recommended only for public libraries with a large and dedicated audience for titles by authors like Wayne Dyer and Robert Covey. The author of numerous works in psychology, Shapiro, on the other hand, actually seems to address the issues included in Goleman's definition. Unlike so many parenting books full of generalizations, this title includes specific ideas for games, projects, and even computer games. Highly recommended for all parenting collections.?Mary Ann Hughes, Neill P.L., Pullman, Wash.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Holt Paperbacks; 1st edition (June 15, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0805051511
• ISBN-13: 978-0805051513
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #93,530 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

101 of 111 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Getting more of life by getting in touch with your feelings, September 10, 1997

By A Customer

In her extremely well-written and well thought-out book, Raising Your Emotional Intelligence, psychologist Jeanne Segal taught this old dog many new tricks-and believe me I was skeptical going in. I think anyone would be who's been married for more than a quarter of a century, raised a family and experienced enough of life's little surprises to deserve her wrinkles. But Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., dispelled my skepticism. She showed me that though I may comprehend life very well intellectually, I still have work to do emotionally if I want to become a truly authentic human being.

Bringing your words, actions, and even body language into sync with your 'shoulda, coulda, woulda's' is the theme of Dr. Segal's book. She wants you to open yourself up to your entire range of feelings and use the energy you will be releasing to get more out of life. She tells us to replace the phrase "I think" with "I feel." She wants us to experience the full range of our emotions from the good to the shameful to the scary and she wants us to do this consciously, living "in the moment' in a state of heightened awareness. I've been taking her advice, and it's a cool sensation. It reminds me of going back to aerobic exercise after a hiatus. As your blood travels to places that haven't felt it in a long time, fingers, toes and legs begin to itch and tingle. When you try Dr. Segal's techniques you'll see that the excitement of feeling again-or for the first time-is equally palpable.

I suppose I was initially skeptical, because of the Introduction to Psychology course I took in my freshman year of college. On day one the professor told us all about instinct: he said we don't have any. He maintained that modem man (or woman) was too far removed from our original survival mode to have any genetically programmed responses left. He said that what we called "a gut feel" was really judgment based on experience and intelligence.

Dr. Segal would beg to differ. She is a great believer in intuition, and she believes people will make better decisions for themselves if they tune in to their emotional reactions. In order to get us to that point, she employs a whole host of engagement devices: examples, quotes, tips, techniques and stories about her own experiences. A terrific teacher, she livens things up by asking us to fill in the blanks, rate ourselves one to ten and choose the best option in a number of situations. Not only does this workshop approach drive home her points, they form an arsenal of appropriate responses for touchy situations.

Raising Your Emotional Intelligence truly lives up to its subtitle, A Practical Guide. It is blessedly free of padding, jargon and mind-numbing theory. Rarest of all, it can be profitably enjoyed and utilized by everyone from the thoroughly self-analyzed to the psychological neophyte. Whether you need help dealing with your children, your boss, your husband, your parents or your siblings, it seems that Dr. Segal has addressed your particular concern or something close enough to it to be relevant. Who couldn't relate to the age-old dilemma embodied in "When High EQ Meets Low EQ: Dealing with a Low-EQ Lover' or the shrieks of anguish from the parents of teens who tell us, "My son dyed his hair green on one side and red on the other' and "My daughter pretends she doesn't know us?" Maybe misery loves company, but I find it a great comfort to know that others are struggling with the same issues I am. And it's an even greater comfort to know that wise and down-to-earth Dr. Segal is there to guide me through the mine fields of human relationships. There, I feel better already!

Barbara Greenleaf

20 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Getting To Know Me, Again, August 6, 2004

By	J Alison (Santa Monica, CA) - See all my reviews

I'm amazed at how one little book (246 pages), can make such a big difference! Dr. Jeanne Segal is brilliant. Her program, "Raising Your Emotional Intelligence, A Practical Guide" consists of simple techniques, easy to follow processes and quizzes. At first, I thought, "will these quizzes ever stop?" After doing a few of them, I realized the quizzes were integral because they are ideal warm ups for getting in touch with how one feels. Here are two of the quizzes' titles; "Home Is Where the Heart Is - Or Is It?" and "Can You Fit in Without Falling Apart?" Just to give you a clue, this is a compelling and provocative book.

Other parts of the program work on the body and mind connection. There's a big emphasis on becoming attuned to the messages that our bodies deliver. I came to realize how my body had become a hostage to my own suppressed feelings. There are breathing and focusing exercises aimed to reacquaint one with parts of the body. I found that by doing these simple breathing exercises daily, I experienced a brighter focus in my work!

By following her techniques I was able to identify and release some deeply held feelings of abandonment and sadness. I'm astounded at how much energy I've had as a result! How does one place a value on that?

This is a book that I'll keep handy for a long time. As Dr. Segal writes, it takes time for new behaviors to become healthy habits. It's been well worth my time and effort. What a wonderful book. Thank you Dr. Segal. I highly recommend it.

27 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Simple to understand but very effective, August 5, 1997

By A Customer

Emotions impact everything we do. In an office setting, emotions can lead to team camaraderie and increase productivity. Likewise, emotions can also prove destructive. Emotions can make or break a family. They can enhance or end a loving relationship. It is the individuals' emotional quotients (EQ) that dictate interpersonal relationships. Dr. Segal lays out an argument that individuals must raise their emotional intelligence if they are to be contented individuals. Dr. Segal lays out simple steps that the lay person can easily apply to improve their own well being.

RAISING YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is an excellent practical guide to inner peace. What makes this nonfiction work so good and worthwhile is its ease of application, starting with a personal assessment test that provides the reader with their current EQ level. Chapters are devoted to help the individual at work, at home, and in any relationship (including a loved one). This is a great self-help book that can assist anyone with relationships.

Harriet Klausner