Customer Reviews

Razortooth

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1 star:		(1)

 

 

As giant mutated eel movies go "Razortooth" isn't half bad and it has a few gross-out scenes because giant mutated eels also have the munchies. The characters arn't all that interesting, including a harmonica playing animal control officer and a fat slob who must be Kentucky Fried Chickens best customer. He has to make a quick pit stop at a port-o-pottie, must have been all those batter fried drumsticks, and soon feels Razortooth snacking on his really huge butt, and he and his bucket of chicken are soon dragged down through the plumbing by the cuddly eel. There is also a mad science professor who calls down four of his students for extra credit to help him correct his mistake of mutating eels.

The plot is thin enough to allow more screen time for the ravenous eel and the movie trots out the old cliche-no one else can out-run the eel but of course the hero does and in one funny scene he even rides the eel like a bucking bronco.

The movie is fun in a gross kind of way but if you don't see it, it is no big loss and I have to mention the poor guy running from the eel carrying a cup of coffee and he never spills a drop even with the eel severing half of his body. Starbucks must be so proud.

Razortooth: 5 out of 10: I like creature features, I really do. Even cheesy made for Sci-fi channel movies can occasionally bring a smile to my face.


Lately we have been inundated with a ton of creature feature movies, many involving giant snakes. Razortooth is actually an above average member of the genre.


I know technically the creature is a giant eel, but unless it is being hunted by a French Chef for the sake of this review the Eel is CGI Giant Snake. Moreover, the CGI is very cartoon like; more animated than photorealistic. In addition, the CGI gore looks like' well CGI gore. It is doubtful the movie will scare anyone. The acting, while serviceable, is not going to win any awards; and the women keep their shirts on.


Despite all this Razortooth is good B movie fun. The film is well lit. It never slows down much, there is a ton of cannon fodder and the movie is not afraid to eat a couple of kids just to spice things up. Overall, I enjoyed myself, but certainly would not go out of my way to watch it again. It is however, worth your time if you enjoy a good old-fashioned CGI Giant Snake Movie starring a giant eel.

When "Razortooth" begins, the omens are not good. Two escaped convicts are running through the bayou while police (we know they are police because their T-shirts say "police") give chase. Before long, the titular razortooth has dispatched the police, leaving a grisly scene behind. We then move to the film's primary characters, the sheriff (Kathleen LaGue) and her ex, Delmar Coats (Doug Swander) of animal control. They meet at a trailer park, where an astonishingly stereotypical group is assembled, and immediately Delmar tries to rekindle their relationship while the locals quickly become dinner for razortooth, including Lou (whose name we know because his paddle boat says Lou on the front), a man who seems never to be without a bucket of chicken in his possession. Also involved are four college students seeking extra credit by working as assistants for a scientist who is actually no longer part of the program (which made me wonder why the school didn't know before sending the students) and a canoe outing of children.

The stereotypes are appropriate for a movie that brings almost nothing new to the creature feature film. There are, for example, obvious parallels to Frankenfish, including the setting and the fact that the creature in this film, a type of eel, has been genetically engineered. And, like many creature feature films, this one is full of things that don't make sense. For example, one character flees the monster eel but refuses to drop his cup of coffee, carrying it the entire while. Another implausibility occurs when one of the victims is attacked in a place an eel of the size of this one could not possibly get to, much less extract the victim through. In fact, there are gaping plot holes in this film everywhere.

"Razortooth" is not the worst film ever made, and it does have its moments of humor, many of which are clearly deliberate. The effects are not bad, either. Yes, there are some scenes in which the eel appears completely unreal, but there are more in which the eel seems almost real. The two leads are likable enough, but ultimately there just isn't enough here for me to recommend this movie to any but the most rabid of horror buffs.

If you are a fan of poorly executed, low budget, monster flicks, Razortooth fits the bill nicely. You are extremely charitable, if you care about any of the characters, who are neither interesting nor particularly likeable.

Somewhere in Florida, a scientist's experimental creation is loose in the swamps, the creature is apparently a giant mutated Asian eel. Eels are fish that breathe through gills, but greenish, bug-eyed Razortooth, is also able to travel swiftly on land, moving like a snake. When a couple of prison escapees head into the swamp, the police out to recapture them, become the first victims. From there, blood starts to spatter, and the bodies quickly pile up, as the eel starts to feed on the clueless locals.

The Sheriff (Kathleen LaGue) and her animal control officer ex-husband (Doug Swander), lead a group formed to deal with the threat, which includes the scientist and his helpers. The inept posse hasn't a chance of success, and the fun really starts as the Razortooth eels continue to chomp up victim after victim. The CGI eel doesn't look much like a real eel, and isn't particularly well-done until the very end, but even so it is still the film's most interesting character. Since it appears that air guns are used as props, use of firearms is minimal, and a crossbow becomes the weapon designated to kill the creature. A plan that is naturally doomed to failure.

Razortooth is fun and entertaining, on a very basic bloody, creature feature level. The writing and acting is barely passable, and only the special effects make the film of any interest.

Razortooth: DVD Review

Grade: B-

In an age of unoriginality, Razortooth stands out. Have you ever heard of a plot about a giant genetically-engineered Asian eel? I didn't think so. Although it sounds like Frankenfish, this one's better.

Razortooth begins with two convicts. They have just escaped from prison, and now a search party is after them. But then, something...eats the search party. The escapees escape, along with their lives. Soon the eel is eating again--going through shower pipes and munching on you from the drain, swimming underneath port-a-potties and eating you while you're busy, eating your dogs, eating you. This thing eats everything, and seemingly never gets full.

I did notice people are wondering how the eel fits through everything, and here's the answer: About half an hour into the movie, the professor tells his students that the eel is mostly made out of muscle, and can therefore stretch itself into anything. That's how it can fit through shower drains, and go under port-a-potties.

I do have to put out a warning though: Razortooth gets pretty violent. I haven't seen a movie with this much gore in it since Carnosaur. When it attacks, it sure does make a mess out of its meals...
Aside from some cool attacks, the movie has another thing to boast about: the cool menu. I know most people are just like 'wow. A cool menu. How interesting.' But for a low-budget movie like this, it's great.

What doesn't help the movie is the CGI. It looks pretty bad, but when you consider that the movie was made three years ago, it looks better. (Razortooth was made in 2006.) The CGI is better than the CGI in other recent movies, like Silent Venom; it just has its flaws.

The other thing I didn't like where the actors. They're terrible!! And their characters are all stereotypes--very annoying stereotypes. Can't script writers come up with some characters we actually want to care about once in a while? Because the annoying people in this movie are what really drag it down from a better grade. (Once again, just like Silent Venom. It seems like every new movie these days has unlikeable characters.)

Razortooth may have its moments, but in the end it also has some flaws. It's worth watching on a lazy afternoon (even if you watch it at night to make it "scarier"--trust me, Razortooth is not scary), and only its originality keeps it from sinking like a dead eel.

Come on down to Florida for some good old-fashioned giant eel "rasslin'" featuring the likes of "Chicken and Beer" Cousin Lou, Scoutmaster Cliff, the Chubby Deputy (seriously - check the credits), Soren "Dr. Eel" Abramson, Ruth "She's the Sheriff" Gainey-Coates, and of course, legendary Animal Control officer Delmar "Don't Call Me Dull-mar" Coates against the living legend and reigning world champion of big, wet, slimy, and ferociously deadly giant eels, Razortooth. No former teen pop idols need apply for this ultimate CGI monster movie battle royale. The action here is - dare I say it? - electric.

Picture a snake with a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth (and, in the case of some moray eels, a second set of teeth in the throat which it can shoot up into its mouth to help grip prey), swimming and slithering around like a snake, capable of squeezing into small spaces and biting the bejesus out of you before you even know it's there. Now imagine that it's way bigger than even the most gigantic python you've ever seen. Now you're getting into Razortooth territory.

Somewhere in the Everglades, some unwelcome Asian eels have been introduced and are now posing a threat to the whole ecosystem. Dr. Abramson comes up with the brainstorm idea of sterilizing them via genetic mutation but accidentally creates a giant specimen that escapes from the lab. Of course, he tells no one of his little booboo, giving the young monster plenty of time to grow larger and larger in the wild. It's inevitable that the creature will develop a taste for human blood - although it seems to prefer the torso and legs, sometimes leaving the top half of its victim to crawl desperately away with his/her intestines hanging out all over the place for several seconds.

Razortooth is a pretty formulaic aquatic monster movie, never daring to stray from a highly predictable storyline at any time. Naturally, you have a divorced couple brought back together in the process of hunting and killing this thing, the scientist who created the thing in the first place comes up with a brilliantly stupid plan to find and kill it, and you don't even have to watch the movie to know how it all ends. On the positive side, however, this giant eel gets a lot of air time and kills a lot of people - and we actually get to witness most of those kills ourselves. This leads to more blood and gore than I expected to see in such a campy genre film. The special effects aren't the best in the world, especially when the monster is pursuing someone over land, but I have to appreciate the high number of kill scenes in this movie. Some would say it is a mistake to show the creature so early and so often to the audience, but I don't necessarily agree with that. This isn't a suspenseful film like Jaws; you watch Razortooth to see a giant eel kill a bunch of people, and by gum this movie definitely delivers on that score.

You can imagine how thrilled I was that my home digs of the Magnificent State of Florida were going to be utilized in this chumfest of delight. I am therefore distraught, distraught I say, to report that this mess was filmed in New Orleans and somewhere else. I thought that scenery looked a little too nice to be the Everglades, but one could only hope.

This film did produce a wonderful amount of eel food - animal control, local law enforcement, escaped prisoners, scouts in canoes, evil scientists, college students, an angry machinegun-wielding mob, a plethora of white trash, and perhaps one or two innocent passersby. After the first few meals, shouldn't the eel be full? Hm? Like a big snake - after one bunny, aren't those things pretty much packed for the month? I thought so. Unlike snakes, the eel likes to spread the bloody chunks of people all over the place, so this movie gets points for spending so much money on fake blood and fake chunks. I'm also not sure ... but can eels hang down from trees and stuff? It did look cool, and the eel dispatched several deserving characters thusly; but really, after startling me the first time, you shouldn't try the exact same stunt again.

I was quite disappointed that the typical "Florida Redneck" failed again. In real life, that slimy thing would have been reeled in by a little girl and then barbequed in 9 different sauces in a smoker built like a Abrams tank. Everyone here failed to remember how guns worked no matter what they were carrying, and those people in the chicken shack should have beaten that thing to death with a frying pan, but no, Big Giant Eel must kill dozens of people before the end. I shouldn't have to sit on the couch and tell people to pull the trigger - those bullets oughtta be flying everywhere! Well.

I'm actually giving this mess 2 stars - for the variety of victims, the amount of blood, that beautiful scary DVD cover...because the sheriff warned the local trailer park (no one ever does that - aaawwwwwww, how touching), and finally, the scene of Coffee Mug Man. You wouldn't drop a decent cup of coffee, would you? Also, kudos for having a Great Big Fat Chicken-Eating Southern Guy. I know it's against the law to have overweight people in movies nowadays, so it was daring of the producers to hire such a stout fella.

If this is the only film laying on your shelf on a long, long and lonely night, it is worth the effort...but don't expect anything but hokey pokey sci-fi amateur B.S. This one has no social redeeming value...and is worth the price I paid $.01 (really). I think it took more money to create the insert for the DVD box than it did to fund the horrendous special effects. If I were involved in this production, I would post a fictitious name on the credits screen. Razortooth is "dull"...has no bite...and has such a worthless script, you'll find yourself laughing out loud. I think the person that carfted the artwork for the insert should be the highest paid individual with this project. Worthless...a waste of time...if I may...TOOTHLESS!