When Mary L. Tabor’s husband of 21 years announced, “I need to live alone,” she cratered and turned to the only comfort she had left: her writing. What resulted was (Re)MAKING LOVE: a sex after sixty story, a fresh, witty, funny and brutally honest memoir of everything she felt and did during her long journey back to happiness. This deeply personal account of her saga takes the reader from Washington, DC to Missouri to Australia through the good, the bad and the foolish from Internet dating to outlandish flirting and eventually to Paris where an unexpected visitor changed the author’s life forever. Her story offers hope and joy told with passion and brilliance that is highly refreshing with the single and most prominent message—it is never too late to find love—and oneself even after age sixty and beyond.
(Re)MAKING LOVE: a sex after sixty story
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About the Author
Mary L. Tabor is the author of The Woman Who Never Cooked, which won Mid-List Press’s First Series Award and was published when she was 60. Her short stories have won numerous literary awards. Her experience spans the worlds of journalism, business, education, fiction and memoir writing. She was a high school English teacher who joined the business world, leaving her corporate job when she was 50 to earn an MFA degree. She teaches at George Washington University, works with less-privileged populations at the D.C. library on how to get started writing, and is a Woodrow Wilson Visiting Fellow. She lives in the Penn Quarter in downtown D.C.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By Terry Carter
Format:Paperback
When I bought Mary Tabor's, (Re)Making Love: A Sex After Sixty Story, I had certain expectations about the book, and I was not disappointed. But I got more -- much more -- than I expected. I discovered that this memoir had a punch to it and transcended its own subject. It has subtle levels of complexity that I'm still discovering as I reread it.
There's no doubt that this is indeed the story of a woman in her sixties suddenly cut loose from her moorings, and her sometimes tragic, sometimes funny, road to finding love and herself again. The book is interspersed with literary references and some unlikely things (hint: has to do with cooking). It's also richly entertaining. Mary tells her story courageously and with breathtaking candor, and a surface reading of the book will be very enjoyable and rewarding.
But a deeper reading of the book -- beyond the plot -- will yield more, where you will discover themes and insights that Mary did not always consciously intend to reveal. This, though, is the stuff of great literature and writing, where the greatest insights are often gleaned and discerned by the reader who dares to plumb the psyche of the writer. It is through this that we internalize her experiences, recognizing and discovering ourselves, not just for how we have responded to life's crises, but how we might. There are cautionary tales here (e.g., Internet dating) that may just influence some readers on how not to react in a crisis.
Daisy Hickman, of the SunnyRoomStudio blog, interviewed Mary last October and characterized (Re)Making Love as a "living memoir." This is not as obvious as it seems. Mary began her book as a blog, writing about events as they unfurled and whirled. In the epilogue in her book, she writes that her daughter and son-in-law suggested that "...I write about my journey while I lived it. They said 'Blog,' while I wept, and I did." Thus, it is indeed a living memoir, full of uncensored, raw emotions and the stumbles and falls during her journey.
Yet, it's still more than that. Mary's exquisite writing skill infuses her memoir with poetic qualities. If you approach it this way, it will enhance your reading experience.
The book begins at the end-- the end of her marriage. In Chapter One, "I Need to Live Alone," -- the roundelay of her memoir -- Mary lays it out in stark simplicity: "I had been married twenty-one years when D. [her husband] announced, 'I need to live alone.' Oh so Greta Garbo. There was absolutely no noise." Announced; just like that.
From there Mary takes us on her journey, reaching back to her childhood, her losses of family, her gaining of family, her courtship with D. and the aftermath of the Announcement.
Thus, this is a book that I took in portions so that I could absorb more. In one particularly intimate and poignant chapter, "Deceptive Cadence," Mary skillfully weaves in Shubert's Opus 90, No. 3, in G Flat, which has much to do with "D." The three short pages of the chapter stopped me flat in my tracks. I had to read it again, but first downloaded the piece, and then played it while I read it. I was deeply moved-- more than I expected. I suggest the same for other readers; the results are palpable. I learned later that Mary wrote the chapter in cadence to the piece.
While Mary became unmoored, she did not become unhinged. She made mistakes and sometimes reckless decisions with the best of intentions: (Re)making love and getting off that awful island of Lost. She attributes her not completely losing it not to herself, but to her metaphoric passport. In the chapter, "The Last Place You Look," she writes:
"Here's how I think of my passport: On the front is a picture of my father. My picture lies under his and under my mother's. Remembering from where I've come has helped. My father's love, my childhood with them lay inside that passport to my destination."
And her children and their families helped too by keeping her under close watch, oftentimes helplessly as they learned of some of her missteps (essentially always with men), but their entreaties sometimes fell on deaf ears. Mary channeled the teenager within.
But while Mary is taken advantage of and sometimes mistreated in this book, she's no victim, nor ever invokes that role. She knows what she's doing and the risks she's taking. And she takes action when it's necessary. One particularly delicious instance is when a suitor, m.r.s., a widower "still married" as Mary soon learns, dumps her (in an email, of course) after a briefly promising start. He writes that he feels "badly" about doing this. A badly chosen word, "badly," to use with a professional writer. Her parting shot is searing. No spoilers here. Read it in the chapter, "I'm Cooked."
The book transcends itself because a deep reading of it reveals lessons and insights that affects all of us, regardless of age or gender. I bought copies for my two adult sons, as I wanted them to get their own unique experiences out of it.
As one of Mary's readers wrote of (Re)Making Love, "(Mary's) experiences and the way she brings them to us remind us why we bother to read in the first place..." At the end of a video interview posted on her website, Mary says so modestly of (Re)Making Love, "I hope it's worth your time." It is; it is. Her courageous -- and funny, insightful, thought-provoking, shocking and soothing --memoir is so well worth our time.
In closing, it's notable that Mary quotes Nietzsche often, and in Chapter 10, "Bliss," she informs us that Nietzsche uses the term "bliss" 26 times in Thus Spoke Zarathustra. (No, she had not found it then.) Nietzsche also used the term "joy" many times (from the German "lust," not in the common English usage, but rather as an active, participative joy). In Nietzsche's book is the famous poem "Zarathustra's Roundelay," where joy is used very hopefully:
O man, take care!
What does the deep midnight declare?
"I was asleep--
From a deep dream I woke and swear:
The world is deep,
Deeper than day had been aware.
Deep is its woe;
Joy--deeper yet than agony:
Woe implores: Go!
But all joy wants eternity--
Wants deep, wants deep eternity."
This joy Mary does find and continues to experience. You can experience it with her by not just reading, but absorbing this transformational book.
There's no doubt that this is indeed the story of a woman in her sixties suddenly cut loose from her moorings, and her sometimes tragic, sometimes funny, road to finding love and herself again. The book is interspersed with literary references and some unlikely things (hint: has to do with cooking). It's also richly entertaining. Mary tells her story courageously and with breathtaking candor, and a surface reading of the book will be very enjoyable and rewarding.
But a deeper reading of the book -- beyond the plot -- will yield more, where you will discover themes and insights that Mary did not always consciously intend to reveal. This, though, is the stuff of great literature and writing, where the greatest insights are often gleaned and discerned by the reader who dares to plumb the psyche of the writer. It is through this that we internalize her experiences, recognizing and discovering ourselves, not just for how we have responded to life's crises, but how we might. There are cautionary tales here (e.g., Internet dating) that may just influence some readers on how not to react in a crisis.
Daisy Hickman, of the SunnyRoomStudio blog, interviewed Mary last October and characterized (Re)Making Love as a "living memoir." This is not as obvious as it seems. Mary began her book as a blog, writing about events as they unfurled and whirled. In the epilogue in her book, she writes that her daughter and son-in-law suggested that "...I write about my journey while I lived it. They said 'Blog,' while I wept, and I did." Thus, it is indeed a living memoir, full of uncensored, raw emotions and the stumbles and falls during her journey.
Yet, it's still more than that. Mary's exquisite writing skill infuses her memoir with poetic qualities. If you approach it this way, it will enhance your reading experience.
The book begins at the end-- the end of her marriage. In Chapter One, "I Need to Live Alone," -- the roundelay of her memoir -- Mary lays it out in stark simplicity: "I had been married twenty-one years when D. [her husband] announced, 'I need to live alone.' Oh so Greta Garbo. There was absolutely no noise." Announced; just like that.
From there Mary takes us on her journey, reaching back to her childhood, her losses of family, her gaining of family, her courtship with D. and the aftermath of the Announcement.
Thus, this is a book that I took in portions so that I could absorb more. In one particularly intimate and poignant chapter, "Deceptive Cadence," Mary skillfully weaves in Shubert's Opus 90, No. 3, in G Flat, which has much to do with "D." The three short pages of the chapter stopped me flat in my tracks. I had to read it again, but first downloaded the piece, and then played it while I read it. I was deeply moved-- more than I expected. I suggest the same for other readers; the results are palpable. I learned later that Mary wrote the chapter in cadence to the piece.
While Mary became unmoored, she did not become unhinged. She made mistakes and sometimes reckless decisions with the best of intentions: (Re)making love and getting off that awful island of Lost. She attributes her not completely losing it not to herself, but to her metaphoric passport. In the chapter, "The Last Place You Look," she writes:
"Here's how I think of my passport: On the front is a picture of my father. My picture lies under his and under my mother's. Remembering from where I've come has helped. My father's love, my childhood with them lay inside that passport to my destination."
And her children and their families helped too by keeping her under close watch, oftentimes helplessly as they learned of some of her missteps (essentially always with men), but their entreaties sometimes fell on deaf ears. Mary channeled the teenager within.
But while Mary is taken advantage of and sometimes mistreated in this book, she's no victim, nor ever invokes that role. She knows what she's doing and the risks she's taking. And she takes action when it's necessary. One particularly delicious instance is when a suitor, m.r.s., a widower "still married" as Mary soon learns, dumps her (in an email, of course) after a briefly promising start. He writes that he feels "badly" about doing this. A badly chosen word, "badly," to use with a professional writer. Her parting shot is searing. No spoilers here. Read it in the chapter, "I'm Cooked."
The book transcends itself because a deep reading of it reveals lessons and insights that affects all of us, regardless of age or gender. I bought copies for my two adult sons, as I wanted them to get their own unique experiences out of it.
As one of Mary's readers wrote of (Re)Making Love, "(Mary's) experiences and the way she brings them to us remind us why we bother to read in the first place..." At the end of a video interview posted on her website, Mary says so modestly of (Re)Making Love, "I hope it's worth your time." It is; it is. Her courageous -- and funny, insightful, thought-provoking, shocking and soothing --memoir is so well worth our time.
In closing, it's notable that Mary quotes Nietzsche often, and in Chapter 10, "Bliss," she informs us that Nietzsche uses the term "bliss" 26 times in Thus Spoke Zarathustra. (No, she had not found it then.) Nietzsche also used the term "joy" many times (from the German "lust," not in the common English usage, but rather as an active, participative joy). In Nietzsche's book is the famous poem "Zarathustra's Roundelay," where joy is used very hopefully:
O man, take care!
What does the deep midnight declare?
"I was asleep--
From a deep dream I woke and swear:
The world is deep,
Deeper than day had been aware.
Deep is its woe;
Joy--deeper yet than agony:
Woe implores: Go!
But all joy wants eternity--
Wants deep, wants deep eternity."
This joy Mary does find and continues to experience. You can experience it with her by not just reading, but absorbing this transformational book.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By Carter Lee
Format:Paperback
To say that Mary Tabor's memoir moved me would be a gross understatement. Like most readers, her stories of love, heartbreak and redemption deeply touched me. But it is the very essence of Mary's honest portrayal of her life that affected me the most. Not only did this fine piece of literature move me, but it also inspired me. Mary's candor, humor, brutal honesty, and emotions that she shares so openly with her readers allowed me to look deeper inside myself with more honesty. Since reading her book I have learned to really search my inner core and admit to myself who I truly am; I feel liberated.
Mary's work moved me on every level, from laughing so hard at a coffee shop that people stared, and to silently weeping as her revelations led me to my own. In Chapter 15, Frying Pans, Mary is angry at her husband, D, and spends $1500 on a pair of underwear, stating that there are many ways to hit a man over the head with a frying pan. I lost it when I read it, and busted out in laughter, partly because I wanted relief from the previous chapter that saddened me, and partly because of the pure humor.
In the previous chapter, Mary quotes Nietzsche: "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." Then she goes through an incident of a crush, and reflection of her own rocky marriage, and declares Nietzsche was right about marriage. It was at this very moment that I started viewing my own failed marriage from a different angle. Mary had the power, through her honesty of her own disappointments and heartbreak, to force me to analyze my former marriage on a different level. It was a bittersweet feeling; I felt more closure than I had before. I allowed myself to cry; it felt good, and I felt understood.
From beginning to end, this book captivates, grabs, and holds the reader's attention. This is one of those works in literature that will keep you up late at night anticipating each page, and as we turn the pages we learn more about Mary. If we are honest as we read about her, we also learn more about ourselves. And while it's not always a pretty picture, this is a starting point for our own development. Mary truly describes the meaning of this book in Chapter 47, "Scheherazade wrote to save her life...I have written this memoir to find." In the process, Mary's memoir also leads us to "find." For that I am grateful. What a wonderful and meaningful book.
Mary's work moved me on every level, from laughing so hard at a coffee shop that people stared, and to silently weeping as her revelations led me to my own. In Chapter 15, Frying Pans, Mary is angry at her husband, D, and spends $1500 on a pair of underwear, stating that there are many ways to hit a man over the head with a frying pan. I lost it when I read it, and busted out in laughter, partly because I wanted relief from the previous chapter that saddened me, and partly because of the pure humor.
In the previous chapter, Mary quotes Nietzsche: "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." Then she goes through an incident of a crush, and reflection of her own rocky marriage, and declares Nietzsche was right about marriage. It was at this very moment that I started viewing my own failed marriage from a different angle. Mary had the power, through her honesty of her own disappointments and heartbreak, to force me to analyze my former marriage on a different level. It was a bittersweet feeling; I felt more closure than I had before. I allowed myself to cry; it felt good, and I felt understood.
From beginning to end, this book captivates, grabs, and holds the reader's attention. This is one of those works in literature that will keep you up late at night anticipating each page, and as we turn the pages we learn more about Mary. If we are honest as we read about her, we also learn more about ourselves. And while it's not always a pretty picture, this is a starting point for our own development. Mary truly describes the meaning of this book in Chapter 47, "Scheherazade wrote to save her life...I have written this memoir to find." In the process, Mary's memoir also leads us to "find." For that I am grateful. What a wonderful and meaningful book.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Mary Tabor's new memoir is an honest and jolting account of the unraveling, and reweaving of her life in transition, following the unsuspected declaration by her husband that the marriage had run its course. But while the painful truth catapults her into uncharted territory, it also unleashes a new energy and view of the world, pushing her into a place of exploration with a better understanding of her own capabilities and creativity. Ms. Tabor's writing is contemporary, artful, and cleverly told.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Modern Love Story
I have found my new favorite book! Mary L. Tabor's "(Re)Making Love, a sex after sixty story",is a kaleidoscope of writing. Read more
Published 4 months ago by James
5.0 out of 5 stars
Simply Wonderful
I can honestly say that reading this book was a delight. Mary Tabor is a wonderful, natural writer who's style is really quite beautiful, the book is a memoir that began as a blog... Read more
Published 9 months ago by Ruth Johnston
5.0 out of 5 stars
Testimony to Faith and Forgiveness
Tender and inspiring, this eloquent memoir is testimony to faith and forgiveness, abiding love, hope and transformation. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Salt Lake City Reader
5.0 out of 5 stars
A kindred soul
I highly recommend Mary Tabor's beautifully written memoir. My life has traveled a different trajectory than hers, but the emotional ups and downs she so eloquently describes ring... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Barbara Moldauer
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great Book. Really enjoyed it.
My first review....very exciting.
Was given this book to read by a friend while I was doing some traveling. Wasn't sure what to make of it but figured I'd take a look. Read more
Was given this book to read by a friend while I was doing some traveling. Wasn't sure what to make of it but figured I'd take a look. Read more
Published 14 months ago by Danish22
5.0 out of 5 stars
(Re) Making Love
When your husband tells you after 21 years of marriage that he needs to live alone,where does your life go? Read more
Published 15 months ago by Louise M Phillips
5.0 out of 5 stars
Beautiful, Inspiring
When Mary Tabor's husband tells her he wants to live alone, to find himself, she moves to the Midwest to teach creative writing. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Karol Nielsen
5.0 out of 5 stars
About Much More Than Sex
(RE)Making Love: A Sex after Sixty Story is much more than its veneer title of sex. It unearths deeper values of a new beginning, after an unexpected ending, and shows how strong... Read more
Published 17 months ago by DJM King
5.0 out of 5 stars
Refreshingly Honest
I am reposting a review that originally appeared on FlashFiction.net because this is a book that deserves to be read! Read more
Published 17 months ago by Anne Converse Willkomm
5.0 out of 5 stars
(Re) Making Love review
If you love Rom Coms, then you will love Mary Tabor's blog turned novel, (Re) Making Love: A Sex After Sixty Story. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Jon Mahoney
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