Customer Reviews

Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter

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The "reader from San Jose" has unfortunately never read this wonderful and sensitively written book. In the Foreword, the author clearly explains the use of the term "Dear Birthmother Letter" as the common reference term for these very important letters of introduction. He also directly acknowledges that expectant parents are not properly termed "birthparents" until after they make a placement, and speaks supportively of the expectant father's role in adoption decisions.

This is an extraordinarily helpful book, full of authoritative research, clear guidance, warm humor, and genuine sensitivity to everyone involved in the adoption triad. It was highly recommended to me by both my attorney and my adoption counselor. In the process of helping me write a letter that truly reflected my heart, it also dispelled many of the fears I had, born of misconception. To judge it without reading it does this book, and the adoption community, a grave disservice.

As an adoption professional, I recommend this book to all of my clients. The author turns the daunting task of drafting an outreach letter into a manageable and enjoyable process. Written with insight, sensitivity and humor, the book guides you from initial idea to final product -- an outreach letter that speaks honestly and compellingly to potential birthmothers.

Anyone who is daunted by the task of writing a Dear Birthmother letter should read this book. Recommended by a friend, I picked it up and couldn't put it down. I found it witty, practical, warm and honest. Loved it. (In fact, I am having to restrain myself from using "!!".) My husband is now reading it and laughs out loud. What seemed an overwhelming task now looks like fun. Here's to the journey...

This book was the best I have seen when it comes to writing the Dear Birthmother letter. It gives you very practical advice on how to put this letter together. The author does a wonderful job describing how the birthmother feels based on the words that you are using. A must have for anyone faced with the task of writing a Dear Birthmother letter. I have recommended it to many.

I highly recommend Reaching Out to adoptive parents who are told by their agency, attorney, case worker, etc. that they must write a Dear Birthmother Letter. This is the only source of the many that I investigated that had any help for writing a DBL. The one other book that comes up when you search for "Dear Birthmother" cannot compare to the wealth of information in Mr. Handel's book. He covers everything from the details (check your spelling) to philosophies (be yourself) to methods of writing (the I, we, or us letter). Mr. Handel also supplies many writing tips. I found the book to be a great source of inspiration. This was also one of the only adoption-related books my husband read in its entirety. He enjoyed it as well!

There are so many sources and so much information out there; this book serves as a very practical tool for a part of the process that seems daunting at first consideration.

This was a great book for ideas about your dear birthmother letter. The only negative I found was that all the sample letters were seemingly written by very rich families, making adoption seem more out of the grasp of reality for regular families. But the info and advice that the author gave was extremely helpful!

We really struggled to write our letter to prospective birth parents. This book gives so many different examples and really helped us to write a letter that reflected our life and our personalities. It gave us perspective. We have adopted two children and I only wish we had found this book for our first letter. It just made the whole letter process so much better and I was so much happier with the letter we wrote after reading this book.

The outreach process is so daunting. I know logically that I can do it, but organizing my thoughts seemed impossible. I had no basis for comparison. This book provides a very clear, well-written guide to getting YOU onto a page. Not a formula to make your letter exactly like another, but a way to actually discuss what you need. It had helpful reminders for what I need to include (values, skills, etc) and also what to perhaps leave off (sad stories, desperate feelings, etc). This book pointed out issues I hadn't considered, gave me ways to tighten up the language I use, and ways to feel more positive. Interspersed are very moving and emotional commentaries about how the process actually feels, from someone who's been there.
I had college writing courses that were less clear and helpful than this book has been.

Writing a birthparent letter is an overwhelming project, but this book helped me to feel confident and positive about it. The book gave good ideas on format, verbage, and what to and what not to include. Quick read that is easy to refer back to.