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Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva [Paperback]

Debby Herbenick , Vanessa Schick
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 16, 2011
Many, if not most, people remain in the dark about the actual workings of the vagina and vulva. The primary purpose of Read My Lips is to educate women and men about the vulva and vagina in a manner that is smart, informative, and entertaining. Readers, both women and men alike, will come to think differently about women's genitals and become a little more curious and a lot more comfortable with them. They will learn more about the female body in terms of health, sex, pleasure, culture, and art. Though based on sound scientific and medical research, Read My Lips is accessible to the masses, so women and men who are curious about the clitoris, Brazilian waxing, labiaplasty, or whether the G-spot really exists, will find something of interest in these pages.

Chapters focus on sex and the vulva/vagina which, in spite of the many interesting cultural and historical aspects of vulva and vagina lore, remains of central interest to many people - as it should, given that women's genitals, and how they work, especially in regard to sex, remain a mystery to so many well-intentioned lovers. In keeping with the overall theme of celebration and education, the authors take a sex-positive, pleasure-focused perspective on women's genitals, pointing out the parts that can help women to enjoy sex and feel more comfortable in their own bodies. Tips on technique will also be shared alongside information on vaginal health.

Frequently Bought Together

Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva + Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction + Sex Made Easy: Your Awkward Questions Answered-For Better, Smarter, Amazing Sex
Price for all three: $41.82

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Herbenick, associate director and research scientist at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, Indiana University, as well as a sex columnist and author (Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction), and Schick, a social psychologist at the center have penned a book “for anyone who has a vulva, loves someone with a vulva, came from a vagina, or is just plain curious about their parts.” The two Ph.D.s cover a number of vulva-related topics, including the parts of the vulva, women’s attitudes toward their genitals, vaginal problems such as yeast and bacterial infections, and sexual issues. Anything but priggish or clinical, the authors also tackle such subjects as grooming genital hair and how to make a vulva costume or throw a vulva-themed dinner party. The book is also filled with fascinating facts about the vulva (for example, the word “cunt” may have evolved from the Asian goddess Cunti). While imparting current research and useful advice, the authors play with words (i.e., “The Age of Clitarius”) and include such humorous anecdotes as the tale of a woman who inadvertently used her child’s glittery craft washcloth to wipe her vulva before visiting her gynecologist. Readers “18 to 80” will find this informative yet lively text goes above and beyond in addressing everything they ever wanted to know about the vulva and vagina.
(Publishers Weekly 20111003)

This book about the vulva makes The Vagina Monologues seem tame. Written in a chatty style by two scientists at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, it gives explicit details about sexually transmitted infections, piercings (they may tear condoms), vibrators (nonporous materials, such as glass, are best), lesbian relationships (sex toys), tampons (they can’t get through the cervix), and pubic hair (Playboy models mostly shave). Chapters titled “Meet the Vulva,” “Vulvalicious: Vulvas and Vaginas in Bed,” “The Hair down There,” and “Evulvalution: Vulva Culture” end with a quizzes. A typical question and answer: “When do doctors recommend that an average woman should douche? Never ever.” The writers share stories about themselves, such as when Schick used pubic hair dye. Sometimes they get too cutesie, using such made-up words as “cunt-parisons” and “cuntclusions.” The photographs, which depict women’s vulvas and a knit vulva from the International Vulva Knitting Circle Collection, are certainly unusual. Herbenick and Schick’s intimate guide will educate and entertain women who grew up with birth control and Sex and the City.
(Booklist 20111015)

This diverse and informative tour spans health, sex, and V-culture. While the thorough health and sex chapters cover pretty standard sex-book territory, the numerous stops on the culture route pick up on less commonly mentioned size/shape variations, pubic hair styling and coloring, labiaplasty, V-knitting circles and other V-crafts, vulvas in prehistory and myth, V-activism, and a DIY vulva costume. Kinsey Institute researchers Herbenick (Because It Feels Good) and Schick bring extensive knowledge together with a welcoming-all-options attitude. References and an excellent resource list encourage readers to explore favorite topics further....Necessary and entertaining cultural content for 21st-century gals, teens and up.
(Library Journal )

Lips are no longer sealed as Herbenick and Schick expose everything you want to know-need to know-about having a happy, healthy vulva and vagina. While remaining thorough, evidence-based, and inclusive, this easy-to-read advocacy effort will have you spreading 'em as never before, whether for self-care or stimulation.

(Yvonne K. Fulbright Ph.D, sexologist, sexuality educator & author of nine books, including Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover )

I didn't move my lips when reading Read My Lips except to smile often. Authors Debby Herbenick, PhD and Vanessa Schick, PhD., have a light touch, which is something much to be hoped for from anyone concentrating on women's delicate parts. Where else might one learn within the first twenty pages eighty different names for female genitalia, common health concerns that might afflict their owners, and how to attend a costume party dressed as a do-it-yourself vulva? This book offers excellent and thorough information and can be used as an owner's or user's manual, most preferably to be read together. (Isadora Alman, MFT, author of Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex )

Under-appreciated and misunderstood, our vulvas and vaginas need allies. Herbenick and Schick are perfect teachers, breaking down myths and engaging readers in practical and fun ways. An e-vulva-lution is definitely on its way. (Dr. Kat Van Kirk, sexologist and host of the podcast Sex Chat with Dr. Kat and Her Gay Boyfriend )

Informative, entertaining, empowering, and compassionate; this book almost made me wish I was straight. This book will save lives-sex lives and otherwise. Buy three copies-one for your daughter, one for your son, one for yourself. (Dan Savage, Savage Love columnist and founder of the It Gets Better Project )

Riveting - I read the whole book, cover to cover, in a single sitting. Written from the perspective of a warm, non-judgemental and super-knowledgeable best friend, this book is invaluable for anyone who is parenting a daughter. This book will make a huge contribution to the lives of women and girls - helping them to know and appreciate their bodies more, keep themselves healthy, and experience greater sexual pleasure. Read My Lips will answer questions you didn't even know you had! (Robin Milhausen, Ph.D., Department of Family Relations and Applied Nutrition, University of Guelph, Canada )

A delightful guide to the vulva that doesn't neglect the star of the show, Ms. Clitty. Drs. Herbenick and Schick demystify everything from labiaplasty to pubic hair trends to female ejaculation with the latest research. A book that will inform both women and men of all ages; parents included. A celebration of everything vulva! (Betty Dodson, Ph.D., artist, author, and sexologist, www.dodsonandross.com )

The Goddess Inanna sang songs of praise to her "wondrous vulva," and now you can sing along! Read My Lips is a must-read for owners of vulvas and all the people who love them, a complete guided tour to some of the most amazing territory a person could ever explore! (Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist, Good Vibrations and Founding Director of the Center for Sex & Culture, San Francisco )

This book is a must have....This is an entertaining and informative step into the demystification of the vagina.
(Twisting the Lens )

Nothing is left out of this book. Whether explaining, with humor, the differences between a vagina and a vulva, or writing in a more serious vein about what it means to take control of your sexual health, the authors make serious topics more accessible to the average reader.
(Feminist Collections: A Quarterly Of Women's Studies Resources )

About the Author

Debby Herbenick, PhD, is Associate Director and Research Scientist at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, Indiana University, the Sexual Health Educator for The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, and a widely read sex columnist for various newspapers and magazines. She is also the author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. She has served as an expert on the vagina and vulva (and other sex topics) for The Tyra Banks Show and The Doctors and writes about sex for MySexProfessor.com, Psychology Today, WebMD and Men's Health magazine. She is also a member of the International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease, the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health, and the International Academy of Sex Research. As a widely cited sex expert, she has been quoted in more than 500 magazine and newspaper articles including those in The New York Times, Glamour, Marie Claire, The LA Times, The San Francisco Chronicle, Cosmo (US), Cosmo (UK), Women's Health, Men's Health and SELF. Vanessa Schick, PhD, is a social psychologist at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, Indiana University. She has conducted a variety of studies on the vulva that have been published in peer reviewed journals ranging from the changes in the portrayal of the vulva in sexually explicit magazines to understanding how women's concerns about their vulva appearance impacts them in the bedroom. She has presented her work to a variety of diverse audiences ranging from the Kinsey Institute to students in the classroom to sex researchers at European Federation of Sexology conference in Rome, Italy. She is also a member of the International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease and the International Academy of Sex Research.


Dr. Herbenick and Dr. Schick are also two of the scientists behind the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB).

Product Details

  • Paperback: 312 pages
  • Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers (November 16, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1442208007
  • ISBN-13: 978-1442208001
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #673,452 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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This book was very well researched and well written. Wendy Catalano  |  3 reviewers made a similar statement
Knit a vulva, it's a great conversation piece, imagine discussing it with your in-laws! Jennifer L. Rinehart  |  3 reviewers made a similar statement
This book is a must-have for every woman and men should read it as well. sa2012  |  2 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
14 of 17 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A guy's perspective November 23, 2011
Format:Paperback
I am a guy. So I waited until I was not the first reviewer. Take my perspective with a grain of salt. I am a nanny for two girls (2 and 4), married for almost 15 years and my wife and I lead a small group for newly married couples to help them develop stronger marriages. I spend a fair amount of time reading and thinking about issues of sex and marriage.

Because most of my perspective is on married sex (and within a church based, Christian context), there are subjects I wish were handled differently. But on the whole I think it was a very good book and I glad that books like this are written.

That being said, the book really is two books that are written together. One part (these parts are mixed together, not a part one, part two) is the sexual health and care questions and answers. This was of less interest to me (I am a guy) but I did learn a few things and had a couple conversations with my wife over them.

The part that I think is more useful generally and I was more interested in, is the sociological look. This is somewhat reminiscent of Mary Roach's book Bonk. It is funnier than the sexual health parts.

A good example of the discussion is a study that traces how nude models are shown on Playboy. They share a research study about how all of the Playboy centerfolds have been presented. This is one of those studies that many will make fun of, but there is a real point. One interesting point that the authors are concerned about is that never was the labia actually shown (the inner lips that are quite variable among women), they are either hidden by the shot, or airbrushed out. There were multiple sidebar comments (in general I am not a fan of sidebar comments, but in this book they served a real point) about women and men that have an inappropriate understanding of what female genitalia should look like because line drawings and even Playboys are inaccurate.

Another trend that is noted from this study is the changes in pubic hair. Starting in the 1980s and speeding up in the 1990s, more and more of the Playboy models were shown without pubic hair. This has lead to a perception that many women (maybe most of younger women) also remove their pubic hair. But when asking average women, the majority of women remove very little pubic hair and only a small percentage actually regularly remove all pubic hair. The point isn't so much to suggest there is a right or wrong way, but that there is a wide range of what women do, and you should do what is right for you.

As a final point, I do want to note that every chapter has a craft project around the vagina or vulva. I am not crafty, but I have enough women in my life that are, that I think this probably was a good way to lighten the mood and bring some fun to the book. Overall, this is not a perfect book, but it is a good contribution to a subject that surrounds us, but is actually too little thought about and too little thought about well.

_______
A digital copy of this book was provided by the publisher for purposes of review. A longer review is published on my blog Bookwi.se

I wrote a long (1500 word) review on my blog.
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13 of 16 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Vagina Crafts and Games, what's not to like? November 10, 2011
Format:Paperback
This is a review of a book about vaginas and vulvas. If you faint at the sight of Janet Jackson's breast or if spicy talk makes you swoon, best keep moving, things are about to get real.

First off, when people are talking about vaginas, the region they are speaking of is actually the vulva, the vagina is only the inner part (so right there, I learned something new). Vulva and Vagina are not interchangeable terms and should not be used as such (also new info).

Here are some more gems of wisdom from the book;

1. Don't Douche, it damages natural flora and causes infections.

2. If you like the idea of unusual pubic hair, there are now plenty of color options for you to try.

3. Vulva dyes are bad news unless you like the sensation of fire ants biting the skin of your ultra sensitive labia majora (imagine that, fire ants on your L-A-B-I-A!).

4. Try to avoid perfumed products, soap too.

5. Love your vulva and it will love you back.

Vulva Crafts - bet you didn't think a book about vulvas would have a lot of crafts, well, it does. Watch out Martha Stewart, craft'd!

Here are some of the more interesting crafts

1. make a vulva shaped tampon cozy, you will be the envy of all.

2. make your own merkin (why would someone want to make a pubic hair wig, I don't know and will probably never find out)

3. make paper panties, invite some friends to make some too, "Hey Betty, wanna hang out this weekend? We can catch the new romcom or, hey, we could make some paper panties! Squee!"

4. Pube-encils - Make a stencil for your pubes! Yeah, I added that exclamation point there at the end to simulate excitement, but strangely I'm not feeling it. Stencils are so 2004.

5. Make a Vulva - out of alginate.

6. Knit a vulva, it's a great conversation piece, imagine discussing it with your in-laws!

7. Make a vulva costume - you'll be a showstopper at the office Halloween costume contest.

8. Papier Mache panties, yeah, I'm not sure what to do with them afterwards either, plus the starch is itchy.

This book is chock full of info, including new (well, new to me, anyway) terminology:

vattooing - tattoos on your vulva - imagine a teeny tiny George Bush (get it? a bush on your bush?!) tattooed on your labia.

vafacial - getting a facial or skin treatment on your vulva, usually in conjunction with waxing; removing ingrown hairs, exfoliating (youch!), applying calming lotion, etc.

vajazzling - having sparkly things affixed to your mons - I refer to this as the Edward Cullen effect (actually, I use a different word than Cullen, it starts with the same two letters but it ends with, anyways, you get where I'm going with this).

There's history too, first off, the history of pubic hair going so far as to mention the lack thereof in classic art (David, The Venus of Willendorf) then the history of vulvas, vulvas as religion and vulvas as the characters in humorous stories.

The Mesopotamiam Goddes of the Vulva, The Asian Goddess Cunti, Nin Imma and the Sheela-na-gigs of Ireland are discussed at length as is the long and varied history of vulva flashing, apparently flashing your lady parts was a particularly amusing weeknight pastime in pre-Renaissance times. I'm going to hit up my galpals and see if we can't bring it back!

there are lots of opportunities for vulva love;

Host a Speculum Party - I shiver with horror at the thought, but hey, to each his own, right?

Check out the Vagina Monologues

Instead of a book club, why not start a vulva crafting club!!! - I'm not sure which of my mom friends to hit up first!
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for all females! January 7, 2012
Format:Paperback
Every single women and girl should read this book - I am not exaggerating, I think this book has information and to the point advice on how to take care of the part of us that school or even your mother doesn't know about.

You need to know how it will affect your `lady parts' if you shave off all hair, or if you clean up with perfumed wipes before a visit to the obgyn. The book talks about what's what, what happens, when and how to honor the feminine part of us.

Read My Lips is definitely a must read book to all women, not that men wouldn't get information off of it but it's for girls, let's face it. The book is a singing praise to all things `vajayjay', the coloring, the trimming, the washing, vattooing, vafacial, vajazzling and why not to douche, and truthfully it goes bit over board with the `lady bits' craft projects, because as much as I now respect my `sassy' (thanks to this book) I'm not gonna make larger than life copy, or do a theme party around it. The thought makes me smile, but no thank you.

Wither you have a love or hate relationship or indifference to your `pussy cat' you wanna read this book because there are thing you aren't aware of with you are middle class of highly educated - and trust me you want to know what goes on `down there' not just for health but also for pleasure! Read My Lips will make you appreciate your vulva ( yes that's what it's called scientifically even though your lady parts include a lot more variedly named parts, like the vagina ), the information is told in a fun and sassy way making you feel proud to be a woman! With just two words, informative & empowering!

Take a look at these chapter titles to see just how many topics get discussed:

INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 1: Meet the Vulva
CHAPTER 2: A Healthy, Happy Vulva: Taking Care Down There
CHAPTER 3: Vulvalicious: Vulvas and Vaginas in Bed
CHAPTER 4: How Do I Look? How We Come to Think & Feel the Way We Do about Our Vulvas
CHAPTER 5: Spraying, Dyeing, and Douching . . . Oh My!
CHAPTER 6: The Hair Down There
CHAPTER 7: Evulvalution: Vulva Culture

And there are tons of small chapters within chapters, trust me, reading this will not get booring!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Very informative.
Is made for women who know or don't know about their vaginas. Great read, made you want to love and be proud of your vagina. If you didn't already.
Published 28 days ago by Jai
5.0 out of 5 stars Super helpful!
First, I want to preface that I am a Christian, married mother of three. Okay, so this book is full of a lot of beneficial information regarding all things that have to do with our... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Ayuda
4.0 out of 5 stars Not suitable for coffee table.
The book had lots of great info and some nice illlusrations. I would give it 5 stars, but the pages smell like fish.
Published 7 months ago by 50 Shades of Bic
5.0 out of 5 stars A must
This book is a must-have for every woman and men should read it as well. It teaches you about many aspects of the vagina and vulva, which is important for people to know. Read more
Published 10 months ago by sa2012
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for All Women
Alright, I received this book from the publisher today off Netgalley and have not been able to "put it down". Read more
Published 16 months ago by N. Blackburn
4.0 out of 5 stars Let's Talk About Vulvas and Vaginas
This book was very well researched and well written. No question could have possibly been left unanswered. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Wendy Catalano
5.0 out of 5 stars Virginia G and Her Volcano
Read My Lips is an informative and entertaining guide to female volcanoes found throughout this world.

The heroine's name is Virginia G. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Wandrwoman
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