Read My Lips [Paperback]

Herbenick Debby (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 16, 2011

Many, if not most, people remain in the dark about the actual workings of the vagina and vulva. The primary purpose of Read My Lips is to educate women and men about the vulva and vagina in a manner that is smart, informative, and entertaining. Readers, both women and men alike, will come to think differently about women's genitals and become a little more curious and a lot more comfortable with them. They will learn more about the female body in terms of health, sex, pleasure, culture, and art. Though based on sound scientific and medical research, Read My Lips will be accessible to the masses, so women and men who are curious about the clitoris, Brazilian waxing, labiaplasty or whether the G-spot really exists, will find something of interest in these pages. Chapters focus on sex and the vulva/vagina which, in spite of the many interesting cultural and historical aspects of vulva and vagina lore, remains of central interest to many people - as it should given that women's genitals and how they work, especially in regard to sex, remain a mystery to so many well-intentioned lovers. In keeping with the overall theme of celebration and education, the authors take a sex-positive, pleasure-focused perspective on women's genitals, pointing out the parts that can help women to enjoy sex and feel more comfortable in their own bodies. Tips on technique will also be shared alongside information on vaginal health.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Informative, entertaining, empowering, and compassionate; this book almost made me wish I was straight. This book will save lives—sex lives and otherwise. Buy three copies—one for your daughter, one for your son, one for yourself."-- Dan Savage

"Riveting – I read the whole book, cover to cover, in a single sitting.  Written from the perspective of a warm, non-judgemental and super-knowledgeable best friend, this book is invaluable for anyone who is parenting a daughter. This book will make a huge contribution to the lives of women and girls – helping them to know and appreciate their bodies more, keep themselves healthy, and experience greater sexual pleasure. Read My Lips will answer questions you didn’t even know you had!" -- Robin Milhausen, PhD, Associate Professor, Family Relations and Human Sexuality Department of Family Relations and Applied Nutrition, University of Guelph, Canada

"A delightful guide to the vulva that doesn’t neglect the star of the show, Ms. Clitty. Drs. Herbenick and Schick demystify everything from labiaplasty to pubic hair trends to female ejaculation with the latest research.  A book that will inform both women and men of all ages; parents included. A celebration of everything vulva!"-- Betty Dodson, artist, author and PhD Sexologist, www.dodsonandross.com

"The Goddess Inanna sang songs of praise to her "wondrous vulva," and now you can sing along! "Read My Lips" is a must-read for owners of vulvas and all the people who love them, a complete guided tour to some of the most amazing territory a person could ever explore!" -- Carol Queen, PhD, Staff Sexologist, Good Vibrations, Founding Director, Center for Sex & Culture San Francisco

Lips are no longer sealed as Herbenick and Schick expose everything you want to know-need to know-about having a happy, healthy vulva and vagina. While remaining thorough, evidence-based, and inclusive, this easy-to-read advocacy effort will have you spreading 'em as never before, whether for self-care or stimulation. (Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, MSEd )

I didn't move my lips when reading Read My Lips except to smile often. Authors Debby Herbenick, PhD and Vanessa Schick, PhD., have a light touch, which is something much to be hoped for from anyone concentrating on women's delicate parts. Where else might one learn within the first twenty pages eighty different names for female genitalia, common health concerns that might afflict their owners, and how to attend a costume party dressed as a do-it-yourself vulva? This book offers excellent and thorough information and can be used as an owner's or user's manual, most preferably to be read together. (Isadora Alman, MFT )

Under-appreciated and misunderstood, our vulvas and vaginas need allies. Herbenick and Schick are perfect teachers, breaking down myths and engaging readers in practical and fun ways. An e-vulva-lution is definitely on its way. (Dr. Kat Van Kirk )

Informative, entertaining, empowering, and compassionate; this book almost made me wish I was straight. This book will save lives-sex lives and otherwise. Buy three copies-one for your daughter, one for your son, one for yourself. (Dan Savage )

Riveting - I read the whole book, cover to cover, in a single sitting. Written from the perspective of a warm, non-judgemental and super-knowledgeable best friend, this book is invaluable for anyone who is parenting a daughter. This book will make a huge contribution to the lives of women and girls - helping them to know and appreciate their bodies more, keep themselves healthy, and experience greater sexual pleasure. Read My Lips will answer questions you didn't even know you had! (Robin Milhausen, PhD )

A delightful guide to the vulva that doesn't neglect the star of the show, Ms. Clitty. Drs. Herbenick and Schick demystify everything from labiaplasty to pubic hair trends to female ejaculation with the latest research. A book that will inform both women and men of all ages; parents included. A celebration of everything vulva! (Betty Dodson )

The Goddess Inanna sang songs of praise to her "wondrous vulva," and now you can sing along! Read My Lips is a must-read for owners of vulvas and all the people who love them, a complete guided tour to some of the most amazing territory a person could ever explore! (Carol Queen, PhD )

Product Details

• Paperback
• Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Pub Inc (November 16, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1442208015
• ISBN-13: 978-1442208018
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #13,024,441 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 17 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars A guy's perspective November 23, 2011

By Adam VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

I am a guy. So I waited until I was not the first reviewer. Take my perspective with a grain of salt. I am a nanny for two girls (2 and 4), married for almost 15 years and my wife and I lead a small group for newly married couples to help them develop stronger marriages. I spend a fair amount of time reading and thinking about issues of sex and marriage.

Because most of my perspective is on married sex (and within a church based, Christian context), there are subjects I wish were handled differently. But on the whole I think it was a very good book and I glad that books like this are written.

That being said, the book really is two books that are written together. One part (these parts are mixed together, not a part one, part two) is the sexual health and care questions and answers. This was of less interest to me (I am a guy) but I did learn a few things and had a couple conversations with my wife over them.

The part that I think is more useful generally and I was more interested in, is the sociological look. This is somewhat reminiscent of Mary Roach's book Bonk. It is funnier than the sexual health parts.

A good example of the discussion is a study that traces how nude models are shown on Playboy. They share a research study about how all of the Playboy centerfolds have been presented. This is one of those studies that many will make fun of, but there is a real point. One interesting point that the authors are concerned about is that never was the labia actually shown (the inner lips that are quite variable among women), they are either hidden by the shot, or airbrushed out.... There were multiple sidebar comments (in general I am not a fan of sidebar comments, but in this book they served a real point) about women and men that have an inappropriate understanding of what female genitalia should look like because line drawings and even Playboys are inaccurate.

Another trend that is noted from this study is the changes in pubic hair. Starting in the 1980s and speeding up in the 1990s, more and more of the Playboy models were shown without pubic hair. This has lead to a perception that many women (maybe most of younger women) also remove their pubic hair. But when asking average women, the majority of women remove very little pubic hair and only a small percentage actually regularly remove all pubic hair. The point isn't so much to suggest there is a right or wrong way, but that there is a wide range of what women do, and you should do what is right for you.

As a final point, I do want to note that every chapter has a craft project around the vagina or vulva. I am not crafty, but I have enough women in my life that are, that I think this probably was a good way to lighten the mood and bring some fun to the book. Overall, this is not a perfect book, but it is a good contribution to a subject that surrounds us, but is actually too little thought about and too little thought about well.

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A digital copy of this book was provided by the publisher for purposes of review. A longer review is published on my blog Bookwi.se

I wrote a long (1500 word) review on my blog. Read more ›

13 of 16 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Vagina Crafts and Games, what's not to like? November 10, 2011

By Jennifer L. Rinehart TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

This is a review of a book about vaginas and vulvas. If you faint at the sight of Janet Jackson's breast or if spicy talk makes you swoon, best keep moving, things are about to get real.

First off, when people are talking about vaginas, the region they are speaking of is actually the vulva, the vagina is only the inner part (so right there, I learned something new). Vulva and Vagina are not interchangeable terms and should not be used as such (also new info).

Here are some more gems of wisdom from the book;

1. Don't Douche, it damages natural flora and causes infections.

2. If you like the idea of unusual pubic hair, there are now plenty of color options for you to try.

3. Vulva dyes are bad news unless you like the sensation of fire ants biting the skin of your ultra sensitive labia majora (imagine that, fire ants on your L-A-B-I-A!).

4. Try to avoid perfumed products, soap too.

5. Love your vulva and it will love you back.

Vulva Crafts - bet you didn't think a book about vulvas would have a lot of crafts, well, it does. Watch out Martha Stewart, craft'd!

Here are some of the more interesting crafts

1. make a vulva shaped tampon cozy, you will be the envy of all.

2. make your own merkin (why would someone want to make a pubic hair wig, I don't know and will probably never find out)

3. make paper panties, invite some friends to make some too, "Hey Betty, wanna hang out this weekend? We can catch the new romcom or, hey, we could make some paper panties! Squee!"

4. Pube-encils - Make a stencil for your pubes! Yeah, I added that exclamation point there at the end to simulate excitement, but strangely I'm not feeling it. Stencils are so 2004.

5.... Make a Vulva - out of alginate.

6. Knit a vulva, it's a great conversation piece, imagine discussing it with your in-laws!

7. Make a vulva costume - you'll be a showstopper at the office Halloween costume contest.

8. Papier Mache panties, yeah, I'm not sure what to do with them afterwards either, plus the starch is itchy.

This book is chock full of info, including new (well, new to me, anyway) terminology:

vattooing - tattoos on your vulva - imagine a teeny tiny George Bush (get it? a bush on your bush?!) tattooed on your labia.

vafacial - getting a facial or skin treatment on your vulva, usually in conjunction with waxing; removing ingrown hairs, exfoliating (youch!), applying calming lotion, etc.

vajazzling - having sparkly things affixed to your mons - I refer to this as the Edward Cullen effect (actually, I use a different word than Cullen, it starts with the same two letters but it ends with, anyways, you get where I'm going with this).

There's history too, first off, the history of pubic hair going so far as to mention the lack thereof in classic art (David, The Venus of Willendorf) then the history of vulvas, vulvas as religion and vulvas as the characters in humorous stories.

The Mesopotamiam Goddes of the Vulva, The Asian Goddess Cunti, Nin Imma and the Sheela-na-gigs of Ireland are discussed at length as is the long and varied history of vulva flashing, apparently flashing your lady parts was a particularly amusing weeknight pastime in pre-Renaissance times. I'm going to hit up my galpals and see if we can't bring it back!

there are lots of opportunities for vulva love;

Host a Speculum Party - I shiver with horror at the thought, but hey, to each his own, right?

Check out the Vagina Monologues

Instead of a book club, why not start a vulva crafting club!!! - I'm not sure which of my mom friends to hit up first! Read more ›

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for all females! January 7, 2012

By Niina "For The Love of Reading!"

Format:Paperback

Every single women and girl should read this book - I am not exaggerating, I think this book has information and to the point advice on how to take care of the part of us that school or even your mother doesn't know about.

You need to know how it will affect your `lady parts' if you shave off all hair, or if you clean up with perfumed wipes before a visit to the obgyn. The book talks about what's what, what happens, when and how to honor the feminine part of us.

Read My Lips is definitely a must read book to all women, not that men wouldn't get information off of it but it's for girls, let's face it. The book is a singing praise to all things `vajayjay', the coloring, the trimming, the washing, vattooing, vafacial, vajazzling and why not to douche, and truthfully it goes bit over board with the `lady bits' craft projects, because as much as I now respect my `sassy' (thanks to this book) I'm not gonna make larger than life copy, or do a theme party around it. The thought makes me smile, but no thank you.

Wither you have a love or hate relationship or indifference to your `pussy cat' you wanna read this book because there are thing you aren't aware of with you are middle class of highly educated - and trust me you want to know what goes on `down there' not just for health but also for pleasure! Read My Lips will make you appreciate your vulva ( yes that's what it's called scientifically even though your lady parts include a lot more variedly named parts, like the vagina ), the information is told in a fun and sassy way making you feel proud to be a woman! With just two words, informative & empowering!...

Take a look at these chapter titles to see just how many topics get discussed:

INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 1: Meet the Vulva
CHAPTER 2: A Healthy, Happy Vulva: Taking Care Down There
CHAPTER 3: Vulvalicious: Vulvas and Vaginas in Bed
CHAPTER 4: How Do I Look? How We Come to Think & Feel the Way We Do about Our Vulvas
CHAPTER 5: Spraying, Dyeing, and Douching . . . Oh My!
CHAPTER 6: The Hair Down There
CHAPTER 7: Evulvalution: Vulva Culture

And there are tons of small chapters within chapters, trust me, reading this will not get booring! Read more ›