Customer Reviews

Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior- -Anytime, Anyplace

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(19)
3 star:		(10)
2 star:		(14)
1 star:		(22)

 

 

I find it interesting that reviewers either loved this book or hated it. I think when read in its entirety, and not as a cookbook to human behavior, it is most helpful and thoughtful. I took from this book the importance of not stereotyping or jumping to conclusions about people. Rather, the authors convincingly state reasons for looking for patterns, observing what people do and say, truly listening to others and projecting to others what you really mean to project. I think the disappointed reviewers who made comments here were looking for ways to make snap judgments and fulfilled their own negative expectations. I was looking for insight and ways to avoid making snap judgments and I found them. Thank you to the authors. I'd love to attend a seminar by these people.

To quote the author, you can't judge a book by its cover.

In the airport bookstore, this book looked very promising. The author's specialty is picking jurors, often in high profile criminal cases. The cover promises the book will tell us "how to understand people and predict their behavior." It seems plausible that such an author would have some useful information to impart to those of us who would like to do a better job of understanding the people around us.

The book, however, has a couple of shortcomings:

First, most of the "people-reading" tips are pretty obvious. For example, the author tells us that if a person prominently displays alcohol in their house, there is a good chance they like to drink. Or that people who brag a lot are probably insecure and self-centered. For this I paid $15!

Second, the book lacks focus. Part of the book tells how people's dress, mannerisms, actions and so forth give clues to their character -- and in fairness, some of the author's thoughts in this regard are interesting. But then the book wanders off into the self-help genre, telling us how to use our new-found people reading skills to improve relationships. I suppose this sort of material sells, but it has little to do with the central premise of the book.

In short, my advice is to save yourself some money and pass on this one.

I read the book before I read the reviews online, and I must say that I'm quite shocked that there are people who didn't appreciate Jo-Ellan's book for what it had to offer. There are a few major complaints against the book, and I will address them as I recall them.

First, people say that the book reinforces stereotypes. Well, with a title like _Reading People_, I'm not sure how one can pretend that this is such a surprise. The whole point of the book is to categorize and identify different types of people in hopes of "reading" them, so the subject lends itself to stereotypical thinking. That said, there are NUMEROUS occasions on which Jo-Ellan points out that forming permanent impressions based on snap judgements obstructs your ability to accurately understand someone. Flexible and open judgement is best when it comes to predicting behavior. (And it wouldn't hurt when it comes to reviewing books online either!)

Second, people say that the book is filled with common sense. I could say this of several best-sellers in the same genre, and it wouldn't mean that the information contained within them is worthless. The world moves so quickly these days that it's hard to sit down and take stock of what is supposed to be obvious. Jo-Ellan includes the common sensical possibilities because, simply, the obvious can -- or does not have to be -- the case. For example, a man might keep his hair close cut because he is conservative, because he is forced to by a dress code at work, because he is in the armed forces, because the cut is flattering, or perhaps for some other less overt reason. It is important to list as many possibilities as possible, again, to keep an open mind, and those possibilities always include the obvious.

Third, there is talk that Jo-Ellan only accounts for American personalities. Most of her audience is American and would find that her focus on us is appropriate and useful. (Note: being a trial lawyer, she IS likely to talk about her area of expertise. Her references to trials are not at all complicated and are easily applicable to several "real-life" situations. Also, I don't think her choice of a career has much to do with the quality of this book, no matter HOW disgusting one thinks being a lawyer is.) If you are truly interested in knowing how folks in other countries think, feel, and behave, then take Jo-Ellan's advice: travel to the countries of interest, observe, and keep a database of information. Take note of common behaviors associated with telltale signals, but keep that mind ajar.

I found that the best thing Jo-Ellan's book has done for me is to increase my awareness and interest in people. Of course her book doesn't have "all the answers", but it certainly puts things in perspective. I find myself increasingly more attuned to other people's behavior, which has helped me understand their personalities.

I deny the book a five star rating because it isn't phenomenal. It is a fun eye-opener for people who aren't looking to know every detail about every person they will ever meet. Glean from it what you will. Approach the book knowing that it is not the definitive resource and that it will sometimes include what you think you already know, and you'll be pleased with the results.

Of the four books I read recently about reading people, this one was probably the least valuable. Most of the information given was pretty obvious, and her advice basically boils down to 1) Be aware of the other person's behavior and 2) trust your instincts. Most of the book contains such "in-depth" insights as "Honest people are generally relaxed and open. Dishonest people aren't." DUH! Her list of behavioral indicators for various traits is rather long, and she makes the basic mistake of pigeonholing certain characteristics as indicators of specific traits. She also doesn't deal with such topics as neurological problems or cultural differences. Some of her advice is a bit iffy, too; for instance, she says early on, "Learn to reveal something of yourself. To get others to open up, you must first open up to them." Not good advice if you're dealing with a conman or sociopath. If you really must, read the key points at the end of each chapter.

This is a very good book if the concept of reading people is new to you. It tells you the proper attitude to have when doing you read. It helps you avoid hasty generalizations and does not classify people into narrow catagories. If you absorb and apply the principles in this book you will be fairly good at understanding people. However, if you're looking for something more advanced then this book is NOT for you. It seems meant to be a general introduction to people who traditionally were not accustomed to reading people or did not understand their actions. The only way they could have improved this book (and it's the same with most people reading books) is that they NEED PICTURES! It's so much easier to learn this way, rather than having to visualize what the authors are saying from their prose.

Not only did I like Dimitrius' book, but I am using her book as a reference for an interviewing skills class I teach at a local college.

Those who read this book and take the concepts literally are going to end up seeing profiles as stereotypes. Those who read this book in the context of "what can I learn to help me understand people better?" will gain insight into human behavior. No, this is not a sophisticated typing instrument, but rather a practical approach for using observation as a tool in helping us to understand characteristic human behaviors.

As I teach my students -- and as Dimitrius clearly demonstrates -- these observations are simply clues which lead to greater discovery. Physicians begin with observable symptoms, leading to relevant questions, narrower focus and to an eventual diagnosis. Similarly, behavioral clues help guide us in our search for a deeper understanding of the people with whom we live and work.

Boring and Dull!! Here is an example of what you will learn in this book! "Symptoms of fear include: Wideopen eyes, screaming, hands over the face..." Wow! It's a good thing I found that out! Who knew??? You don't even get these interesting tidbits until page 289 of the book! The last page is 294!! Ridiculous!

Cheap mixture of basic body language knowledge and psychology catered to the masses. Very shallow and some of its comments show a unbelievable degree of narrow-mindness (Comments like "if you look like this, you are like that" are all over the book). Very disappointing book, comments like "If someone speaks about sports a lot, he probably likes sports" (page 63) say it all.

This book wasn't what I expected. I'd wanted a book with academic validity that would discuss the nuances of human behavior in everyday life, particularly from a standpoint of our evolutionary past. I suppose it's my own fault. I picked it up while browsing an airport bookstore and failed to take the time to scan it properly. So instead of getting what I wanted, I got a book that's a little bit Martha Stewart, a little bit psychology 101, a little bit common sense, and a lot of best-seller baloney. [I suspect Jo-Ellan realizes the shoddy nature of the book's academic value, as she has prominently displayed "Ph.D." next to her name on the book's cover, presumably in an attempt to give it more validity than it deserves.]

Jo-Ellan and her co-author are from the legal profession, and have participated actively in some rather high-profile cases like the O. J. Simpson trial. She makes her living by helping lawyers stack the jury. Of course Jo-Ellan would never actually put it that way. In fact, I'm sure the authors would disagree with that characterization. On page 12, for example, Jo-Ellan says: "I have only one goal: to assemble a group of people who will listen with an open mind to my client's side of the story." That's the talk, but she doesn't walk the walk. After telling us her high-minded religion, Jo-Ellan proceeds to give one example after another showing how open mindedness is the last thing she wants in a jury. What she really wants (and this is how she makes her money) is to find jurors who will vote for her clients regardless of the facts.

For example, on page 35 the authors explain how they "conduct research to identify predictive traits, characteristics likely to have the greatest influence on a juror's beliefs...We record their age, sex, and race....From their replies we determine which traits most frequently appear in people who view the case a particular way [their way].... After studying the information obtained from the mock jurors, we prepare questionnaires for the real prospective jurors.... We can't ask them in advance how they would decide the case [but presumably would if they could], but if we know how others with similar traits would have decided it, we can make an educated guess [that will help us stack the jury in favor of our client]"

Although it's enough to turn a fair-minded citizen's stomach, the author's descriptions of the shenanigans that go into jury selection are among the book's most informative aspects. If you ever wanted to know how to get selected for a jury - or how to get kicked off of one - this book will be an invaluable resource.

There is no new information in the book. It's mostly how to use common sense, mixed up with lots of rules based on stereotypes and things your mother might have told you. In fact, the author's even solicited anecdotal stories about how to read people. They suggest a future book with all your insightful comments "see your story in print." So look for their future edition, or read the cover of supermarket tabloids (whichever comes first).

I found the blunt description of stereotypes (including racial and ethnic stereotypes) rather interesting, especially in the context of the O. J. Simpson trial. Here we have the defense explaining how they used stereotypes to select a jury that then disregarded the material facts in the case and rendered a verdict of not guilty because of defense hype about stereotypes used by the police.

The book also offers lots of examples illustrating problems in cognitive reasoning. Jo-Ellan is obviously proud of her ability to pick the right jurors for the case. In doing so, however, she seems to overlook almost completely the roll that material facts have (or should have) in court cases. In her mind, it seems, every time a case is won it's because she picked the right jurors. In fact, she makes a point of saying that the reason she knows that her method of reading people works is because her cases have all been so successful. What's she's missing, of course, is any information about how the juries would have voted if all the people she dismissed based on stereotyping had been allowed to remain on the jury. This is classic logical dissonance. If you are interested in this sort of fallacious reasoning I suggest "How we know what isn't so," by Gilovich.

Throughout the book Jo-Ellan applies her distinctly cosmopolitan standard to reading people. For her the most important clues are shinny shoes, a primed haircut, pressed pants, and how you behave at dinner parties. Even the tissue you keep around the house says something of your character - more sensitive people use softer tissue, you know.

As you may have guessed, I don't think much of the book.

Duwayne Anderson Saint Helens, Oregon. November 19, 1999

After reading Lillian Glass' new book, 'I Know What Your Thinking', this book just pales in comparison. I mean, this book really teaches you nothing you don't already know and it a down right a dry read. It's that simple. If you want a good book on the subject--rather the ART--of reading people I reccommend Dr. Lillian Glass. Unlike this book which only provides examples of what goes on in the author's courtroom battles, which many won't be able to relate if they're not in this environment constantly, Dr. Glass gets to the point in everyday situations, and hits HARD! Don't buy this buy. Not good.